|
|
Post by AnneM on Feb 8, 2004 12:02:55 GMT -5
I seem to have written quite a few threads about my son Sam's life recently ... but this one is the saddest yet.
One of his very closest friends was rushed to hospital last week with a suspected heart problem. We heard yesterday that they have found that his friend in fact has acute leukaemia and will now be in hospital for 5 weeks receiving very aggressive chemotherapy treatment. He is a great kid - please keep your fingers crossed for him..
Sam has been very upset by this and his reaction seems to be "anger" ... anger that this has happened to his friend. He keeps saying "He will be ok won't he Mum ... he just HAS to be ok" ....
Some of the kids are going to visit the boy in hospital (he was transferred to a London hospital which is where he will remain for the next 5 weeks. This is about 1.5 hours away from us). Sam says he cannot face going to see his friend in hospital. I am disappointed Sam feels this way but i do respect his feelings - I do know that this is based on fear on Sam's part. ("I just don't want to see him so ill .. I just want him to be better')
However, we want to come up with other things that Sam can do. I feel that Sam is in danger of "burying his head in the sand" on this one and his friend could feel that Sam doesn't care - which is so untrue ...
Suggestions for what he can do to help brighten up the days for this very dear friend would be really appreciated.... What sort of things could he send to his friend? His friend is 16.
|
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Feb 8, 2004 12:18:45 GMT -5
Oh Anne,I could cry for Sam....Know what? I am sure Sams friend is going to understand...if they have been friends for a long time they have a lot of respect and sharing of feelings.
I think I would most definitely encourage Sam to send cards and to also talk to him on the phone.Maybe he will change his mind and go see him...we never know from one minute to the next what our kids will do.
Keep in mind too that Sam might need some counseling down the line.
Tell Sam that I am thinking of him and his friend.
|
|
|
|
Post by AnneM on Feb 8, 2004 12:41:47 GMT -5
Oh Linda a BIG THANKYOU for this reply ... and I think you are RIGHT ... I think Sam WILL go and see him a little down the line ... I think this is just his "initial" reaction and he needs a little "time" ... We have known this boy for years ... he is one of Sam's most "consistant" friends ... he is a real "gem" ... in fact we/Sam like him so much that he is due to come on holiday with us this July ... I booked our flights 2 weeks ago ... He and Sam have been planning and getting so excited about the holiday ... it is just TOOO cruel for this boy.
I suggested that Sam should send his friend a magazine along with a card ... Sam said "What is the point of a magazine Mum ... NOTHING is going to cheer him up right now ... THAT isn't important - the only important thing is that he gets better" ... Sam doesn't seem to SEE that although of course we all want him BETTER but that little things like that CAN help especially as he is going to get worse (from the treatment) before he can get better....
I also think you are right though that Sam himself will need some help through this ...
|
|
|
|
Post by Dad2Brooke on Feb 8, 2004 12:49:29 GMT -5
Anne, Sam will go see his friend. He is scared, is all. But his friend is even more scared, and once Sam realizes that, he will be there for him.
In the meantime, a card, a call, a book by a favorite author, his favorite candy. Something thoughtful will help.
Sam's friend is going to need all the love and support he can get from all his friends and family to fight this.
You all are in my thoughts and prayers.
Tell him that we are all pulling for him too!
|
|
|
|
Post by finnmom on Feb 8, 2004 13:11:15 GMT -5
Anne That´s so sad, I bet Sam is just too scared to think about visiting yet, but it´ll change, once he realaise that his best friend will need him. Mayby he could send´s something really crazy, like humorous tape with other friend´s or letter made together, if personal aproach seems to difficult  I bet you´ll figure it out  I´ll keep him in mind, as well as you and Sam too. Marja |
|
|
|
Post by AnneM on Feb 8, 2004 13:53:08 GMT -5
Ralph and Marja - THANKYOU ... and do you know just a few minutes ago Sam said "Can we MAYBE go and see Chris during the half-term?" (this is in 2 weeks time) ... I said "YES ... of course we can!!" ... but I hope Sam will stick with this idea and NOT chicken out! ... You are also right in that he (Sam) is very scared - this is a situation he hasn't had to deal with before ... but as you say Ralph once he realises that his friend is even more scared it should hopefully bring things into perspective for him ... Meantime (on your suggestion Marja!) he is going to compile a humourous tape for his friend (I dread to think what this might consist of!  ) ... and being an add/adhd'er I just HOPE he gets it FINISHED !!  Thankyou for your good wishes for Chris ... oh and he says he will call him too .... I just hope he DOES ... He DID call him a few days ago in hospital but this was before we knew the full picture.... since then he seems to have backed away.... |
|
|
|
Post by Amsmom on Feb 8, 2004 14:15:13 GMT -5
Oh Anne, I am so sorry to hear this sad news. You have gotten some great suggestions from the friends here. I think the tape will do wonders to brighten Sam's friend's spirits and I think it will help Sam as well. I dont think Sam will chicken out of going to the hospital, he may even want to go sooner. My prayers are with all of you.
|
|
|
|
Post by Honeysmom on Feb 8, 2004 16:32:17 GMT -5
Anne, that is so sad!  Poor Sam is really getting lots of life lessons recently. It sounds like he is handling it like a kid his age would. Some kids have an easier time hiding their feelings, but at least this way you know how he really feels. I am sure he will eventully go also, maybe when he hears from the other kids that did go it won't seem so bad. The tape idea is great!! Good Luck, thoughts and prayers, Becky |
|
|
|
Post by vickilyn32 on Feb 9, 2004 10:36:42 GMT -5
My DD had her best friend in the hospital this past summer with an infection in her leg that would not go away. DD sent her magazines, puzzles, word finds, cards, funny notes, a stuffed bear wearing a t-shirt she painted on, and a video of her talking to her friend. Since amber is only 10, she was not allowed to visit. We also let her call the hospital 2 times a week. Since he will be in bed most of the time, soft warm shirts that can go over IVs and such may be appreciated. And if you get fabric paint, your son can paint them with funny designes.
|
|
|
|
Post by AnneM on Feb 9, 2004 12:08:44 GMT -5
Thanks EVERYONE !! ... these thoughts and ideas mean such a lot ... I also particularly like the idea of the " Designed" shirt and am going to pass that on too ...
One of the other boys DID go to London yesterday to see Chris. The boy (a mutual friend of both Sam's and Chris') came to see Sam afterwards. He was very upset after his visit but pleased he had gone. He told us that Chris was crying when he was leaving ... Somehow - particularly for a 16 year old boy (who like all 16 year old boys likes to appear pretty "cool" and "together')... that is just sooo heart wrenching... That really got to me and to Sam as well ... but I think it also made Sam realise that Chris really NEEDS to see his friends right now ....
THANKS SO MUCH EVERYONE ....
|
|
