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Post by Jorgy on Mar 11, 2005 9:10:25 GMT -5
 Hey guys, long time no see!!! My life has been on hold for the past year but now I am back and on the other side of "the dark abyss" finally. I am again tending to life and my other kids. I am in a delemma with Jake. He is failing 3rd grade and the teachers and special ed evaluaters think something more may be wrong. He does not seem to have any learnign disabilities but they are not sure why he is doing so poorly in school and socially. I, personally, took him to be tested for an auditory processing disorder which he was diagnosed with. Now I am questioning if he really has ADHD or is it something else? At home he is a normal kid but at school he is quiet, not smiling and not participating. I have had many teachers tell me about his flat affect. He is NOT this way at home! Am I over medicating?  ? Lord, I just don't know anymore.... I am totally questioning everything! He did well at first on natural suppliments but became very resistive to taking them. I have tried diet and everything else I can think of. I would love to take him to the Amen Clinics but just can't afford that right now, but can I afford not to? I just don't know....so I am back to pick anyone's brain that is willing. It just kills me to see him struggle like this. If he is held back he will be away from his one and only best buddy. God, I hate being a parent! Sue
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Post by Sorka on Mar 11, 2005 9:19:38 GMT -5
It sounds like something at school is bothering him..
What auditory prosessing problem does he have and how is the school addressing it?
What med is he on? Does he take it at home?, perhaps you should try backing it off a bit to see if it helps
glad you are back.
Denise
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Post by Linda on Mar 11, 2005 9:21:01 GMT -5
:)Sue...I am sorry to hear this...Is the school going to do further testing? There has to be an answer somewhere. Could be he is not on the right med too....I wish I had some answers but I don't. That was the first thing that came to my mind though....wrong meds or maybe a mood disorder.  |
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Post by finnmom on Mar 11, 2005 12:40:27 GMT -5
Sue and welcome back, I was thinking about you! It's nice to hear you've got your life "back at rail". Sorry to hear about Jake though... I dont know... When has he had his med's adjusted, what is he on and has it been working well this far Sound's to me like it's school/something in school that's bothering him Has something been going on in there?? I hope you'll get it solved before the summer vacation, mayby keeping him at 3rd is not such a bad idea after all Sorry I cant help you...
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Post by Kaiti on Mar 11, 2005 19:47:42 GMT -5
:)Sue, Jake sounds abotu the opposite of Tara....;.Tara hates being home and LOVES being at school....so can't tell you much there.
Um, one question, is he being bullied? That is a big thing on Tara, she started to with drawl from me and told me she was being picked at. I called the other mom and we resolved it.
But could that be it?
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Post by Jorgy on Mar 12, 2005 10:22:54 GMT -5
The public school system has been testing him all year. I have even been called by the testers at night looking for answers because he is such a "puzzle". He is testing normal in learning but they do see a problem on a day to day basis. I took him privitly for auditory testing and his hearing is normal but he can't filter sounds so he hears everything and they notice in the classroom, he visually takes his cues from the other kids. Ie: they are told to take out a book and open to page _. He hasn't heard this but sees that everyone else is taking out a book and then he watches which page but he has no idea what he is supposed to do next. We are looking into having him wear some sort of hearing device that is hooked up to a mike the teacher is wearing. Then the instructions come to him directly. He also has a best friend that he sits by and relies on heavily. The two have an system. This boy has a speech problem (you would never know it by talking to him) and the two boys could pass for twins! Friends mom and I laugh at this!
What disturbs the testers and teacher too is the fact that he doesn't show emotion or talk. Now at home he talkes constantly and shows emotions appropriatly, even on the weekends when he is still medicated. He has never been a talker in public, only with the immediate family. Not even with extented family. They also see no spontinaity and he is always polite and cooperative and is not ever in trouble. I don't understand what they are complaining about there!!! Wish he was that way at home!
After much thought yest. I decided to decrease his dose of Concerta on my own so today I just gave him 54 mg. Next week, if this goes well I will decrease him to the 36 mg and see what happens. Maybe he IS overmedicated and this will tell.
If he is held back a year, I will put him in a different school which will be a hassle and will be hard on him socially to be away from his friend. I am working hard, and so is he, to catch up and hand everything in on time so he can advance.
Part of this is dh and my fault. I have been so lost and just doing the surface things to get by. One day I woke up and took a look around and realized that I had to "get with it" again. Our finances and Jake have taken the brunt of my having backed away from life for a while. I am so sorry for that but emotionally I was just gone, it was the only way I could cope at the time. I can't allow myself to dwell on that but instead have to get everything back on track again.
Thanks guys and I missed ya! I am assuming that all the new gadgets are compliments of Ralph. Way cute!
Sue
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Post by Amsmom on Mar 13, 2005 10:48:59 GMT -5
hi sue welcome back, we really missed you. i agree with you that the school seems to be making way too big of a deal out of jake's quietness at school. you dont see that "flat" mood at home so i dont think there is any reason to worry. it seems to me, that jake is shy at school b/c it is really hard for him to filter out all the noise in the classroom. perhaps in trying to focus, he has to shut down emotionally. it makes plenty of sense to me. dont be hard on yourself, sweetheart, you are a great mom and have a lot to deal with. we are all here for you. (and happy jake's birthday today!!  ) |
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Post by Jorgy on Mar 13, 2005 13:37:32 GMT -5
Thanks Amsmom and great big hug rogjt back at ya! Today is the second day on the decreased dose and I cant tell any difference. He dressed himself today, but it is also his birthday so could hold opening presents until he was dressed, so can't count today! School tomorrow will be the teller. I'll keep ya posted. He is having a GREAT birthday today and is all smiles and playing and sharing like any other kid. I would love it if everyday was like today! Sue |
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Post by mskris on Mar 15, 2005 12:37:15 GMT -5
Sue:
This may be "out in left field," but can they really hold him back when they recognize a problem and are testing him? I know my dd was just diagnosed with a LD in reading and I was assured she couldn't be held back, even though she's still not reading in first grade. She'll continue with the special ed and be promoted.
Is there any particular area in which he's worst or best? Is there any way to engage him in an area of interest? It does sound like he's shy in public and also probably unsure of himself since he isn't getting all the instructions. I'm not sure I'd worry about his "flat" attitude at school, but I would definitely worry about him being held back...
Good luck. I'd arrange a meeting with all the concerned parties, including therapists, etc. to determine what can/should be done and whether he can be promoted (summer school? tutoring?)
Kris
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Post by AnneM on Mar 15, 2005 13:43:52 GMT -5
Jorgy !! I think the "holding back " is a BIG question .. Sam (my will be 17 year old this year) son has always been (due to his birthdate) one of the youngest in the class which in ITSELF can be a big detriment (apparently they are known as the "summer strugglers"!!) .. in addition we have had some learning difficulties!! ... Many is the year when I considered "holding him back" .. The "buddy" you mention is ALSO an important part of the bigger picture!! .. BUT ... what always stopped me from holding Sam back a year was the effect it COULD have in the longer term and on his self-esteem ... BUT to be honest it could also work as an advantage ... so I honestly have NO EASY ANSWER here ! I personally think you just have to weigh everything up (maybe make a list of the pros and cons of BOTH scenarios ... hold back or continue) .... and how it suits Jake's individual circumstances ... I am wishing you LOTS OF LUCK and sending a |
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Post by Jorgy on Mar 15, 2005 22:16:18 GMT -5
Thanks guys. When I first wrote this thread I was reacting and now I am in the acting mode instead. I am VERY MUCH against holding him back. I think that that will be very detrimental in the long run, as you say, Anne. I will not take him away from his best friend. That would emotionallly hurt both of them needlessly. I also DO NOT think he has a learning disorder. He does have a problem getting the info out for the teachers. I am sick of everyone analysing him (and so is he) I am sick of going to his psych just to hand us meds and no other solutions. I don't even know for sure that he has ADHD at this point! Maybe he only has an auditory processing disorder that causes him to "shut down". I am sick of spinning my wheels! Sooooo, I had a talk with a coworker who is a peds nurse and has a teenage ADD daughter. After getting many false lables and no help from her school system, she took her daughter to a nueropsychologist. It was then and only then that she finally got some straight answers and her daughter did a complete turn around. So I am starting the paperwork to get Jake and his older brother into see a nueropsych. We will be able to have the testing early this summer and should have some difinitive answers by the next school year. I am also going to speak to Jake's teacher and the principle and he WILL NOT BE REPEATING 3RD GRADE! My broom is polished and ready to go! Anyone got a hat, prefurrably pointy, I can use???
My mind is made up AND I have the advantage of having two other kids in the school that I pay tuition for so I have leverage 'cause if one goes, they all go. Heck of a lot of tuition money to lose! Hopefully I can tackle this this week. Dh's mother has finally lost all her eyesight and will be coming here this week for me to take her for an eye eval so have to work around this. I'll keep you updated.
Sue
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Post by finnmom on Mar 16, 2005 0:22:47 GMT -5
YOU GO SUE I think you have a string argument with all your tuition money ;D So get your hat and broom ready  |
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Post by Kaiti on Mar 16, 2005 10:01:41 GMT -5
Sue, as I was sitting here, and you were talking about the hearing everything except exact diections, or am I mistaken? Anyhow, when I have my glasses on, I know I've said it somewhere before, I can concentrate better at the task at hand. Does he have any visual problems? Sorry, don't mean to analyze again/ And HAPPY BE LATED BIRTHDAY JAKE |
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