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Post by aimee30 on Nov 12, 2003 23:59:22 GMT -5
Hello all! First of all I want to say I am very new to all of this. My 6 year old daughter has not been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD as of yet. I have two other children both boys. My oldest child is 10 and my youngest is 2. Sometimes I feel that my daughter is  I don't know how to describe it. At first I thought she was just trying to deal with some anger issues (divorce and remarriage, no longer the baby, those type things). I started searching for help on my own. I started with a call to a behavior network and made an appointment with an LCSW. So far I have only met with her once. Before I met with her I called my daughter's teachers and set up a conference with them. Was I in for a surprise there. I had no idea she was doing so poorly. Not focused, won't stay on task, and can't sit still were just a few of the things they told me. This will be her third year in school and I just assummed I would have been told something before now. Of course, her teacher last year did mention a few times that she was having trouble staying focused. They suggested we do a Connor's evaluation. At the time I had no idea what that was. After some internet research to educate myself on this evaluation I am almost positive she is ADHD. We finally met with the LCSW two weeks ago and she asked me to fill out yet more paperwork. Of course no one has mentioned ADD or ADHD to me yet. But I know. I have been doing as much research on it as possible. My problems are coming from my family. Both my mom and husband don't want me to put her on meds. I have tried to explain to them that we haven't gotten to that yet but they are both adamant. I also tried to reason to both of them that if she had diabetes or asthma or some other health issue they wouldn't hesitate to have her put on medicine. We meet with the LCSW again this Monday. Can anyone help me out? Any suggestions for MOM and HUSBAND? What should I expect to happen next since we are in the beginning stages of diagnosis? Any info from anyone would greatly be appreciated!!!! |
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Post by catatonic on Nov 13, 2003 7:42:45 GMT -5
Hi Aimee - You've made a good start just by coming here, so that you won't have to go through any of this alone! Since you're in the diagnosis stage, let me recommend that you insist on a thorough medical workup for your daughter. Too often, doctors look at the Connors scale, nod their heads, and decide it's ADHD. That's not always the case. A number of medical conditions, including anemia and hypoglycemia can cause ADHD-type symptoms. Don't let any of your medical professionals get away with skipping a thorough physical evaluation. This evaluation ought to include, at a minimum, a physical examination and laboratory tests (blood work) to rule out heavy metal toxicity, blood glucose problems, anemia, thyroid hormone problems, and a general analysis of blood chemistry. If there are any other neurological symptoms (as with my son, who suffered severe migraines) then an MRI and/or CT scan ought to be performed. Unfortunately, you will probably have to take the lead here and insist on appropriate testing. Assuming all this testing shows nothing (and odds are that is what will happen) then your next step will be treatment. I'd advise investigating in advance the options available to you. There are successful treatment methods that do NOT involve medication, although your doctor will probably not tell you about them since we seem to live in the era of medical practice via drug rep. However, prior to accepting any prescription for meds, you probably want to take a look at information on the Feingold Diet ( www.feingold.org ) A number of use here use this diet and have found it VERY successful in controlling ADHD symptoms. You might also want to look at some of the research on nutritional supplements and how they address what are possibly some of the underlying causes of ADHD symptoms. Take a look at Laura Stevens' book "12 Effective Ways to Help Your ADD/ADHD Child" for a good overview of non-medication options available to you. Most libraries carry it, or you can order it through her website at users.nlci.com/nutrition/As for mom and hubby being completely against meds... while I am in complete agreement with that philosophy, they also need to know that it may come to medication if nothing else is successful. Reserve it as a last option, since there are other things that work, things that do NO harm, things that are worth trying before you go to medication. Ultimately, as her mother, the decision is yours to make. But please, check out the "Natural Alternatives" segment of this forum first. |
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Post by Jorgy on Nov 13, 2003 9:26:08 GMT -5
Hi aimee! Welcome! No decisons about meds need to be made yet. One fight at a time. The important thing now is to get all the testing done and a diagnosis. THEN you start researching and teaching yourself. My husband was not interested in learning about ADHD so I did the research and force fed it to him.  As for your mom... not her child, not her decision. Ask her nicely to butt out as you are handling it. You will learn fast that you are the only one that can make these decisions for your child. You may need to PUSH,PUSH, PUSH to give your kid what she deserves. Hard to do. Meds are not a forgone conclusion, but no matter what you decide to do include behavior mod and of course come here and ask questions and vent! You are not alone! Yippee! Good luck and God Bless, Sue [glow=red,2,300][/glow] |
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Post by vickilyn32 on Nov 13, 2003 9:39:36 GMT -5
I think that most of us as parents have only used meds as a last resort when nothing else worked. No one wants to put their child on meds unless it is absoulutly nessecery. I finally did use meds and was lucky enough to have the first one I tried work. If it does come down to using meds, research them before you talk to the doctor so you know the side effects and ingredents in each med.
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Post by LitlBaa on Nov 14, 2003 2:11:07 GMT -5
I agree with vickilyn, I used meds after I'd tried everything else and nothing worked. It was definitely not my first choice for my daughter, but it's worked well for her. I think you can learn more from boards like these than your doctor, unless he/she is an ADHD specialist or has one at home. This forum has certainly been a blessing for me.
You have to decide what you think would be the best for your daughter. What does your daughter's father say? I had the support of my daughter's father, but not Grandma, and my husband (we'd only been married a few months at the time) felt he should stay out of the discussion.
Best of luck to you with the diagnosis.
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Post by LitlBaa on Nov 14, 2003 2:14:38 GMT -5
Forgot to mention...
a book that I found really helpful was "Understanding Girls with ADHD" by Kathleen Nadeau. Our girls are really shortchanged in the reading material since most studies have been done on boys. I recognized my daughter on almost every page. The book breaks down the behaviors and difficulties by age group, so you don't have to wade through the whole thing to find out about elementary school.
Hope this helps you!
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MommaToFive
Full Member
With God all things are possible!!
Posts: 113
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Post by MommaToFive on Nov 15, 2003 14:46:42 GMT -5
Welcome to the group!!! I am so glad you found us... There is a wealth of information here and the people are wonderful!! I have found so much support and info here it is amazing~~~
I agree with taking it one step at a time. Get all the testing and diagnosis things done first! Then approach the path you choose to use... I have 5 kids all together. With my oldest being ADHD/ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). He is 9 and in the 3rd grade. We have used meds and are having no luck with them. We will soon begin using the Feingold Program along with nutrional supplements. We are also going to be homeschooling due to various problems in the public school arena.... Anyway, welcome to the board!!! I am so glad you are here and am very happy to help in any way I can!!!!!
You will find comfort, encouragement and support here!!!
Erin
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Post by Honeysmom on Feb 3, 2004 22:02:48 GMT -5
I agree with everyone else, and would like to add that sometimes one parent is much more resistant to meds than the other. We have the same problem at my house. My DH is strongly against meds and it can be a sore spot.
If meds are necessary one approach you could take would be to negotiate a trial peroid with him. Neither of you will know what will and what will not work. It will take time to find that out. Once you find something that seems to be working set a limit as to how long you will try it for and then re-evaluate the decision. If you are lucky and they work really well he will probably notice it and agree with you. If they don't work or you don't see enough of an improvement then they may not be worth it.
There is lots of support here and we are happy to have you. Don't worry, they are a lot of us who but heads with our spouses about the right course of treatment. Just keep in mind that you are both working towords the same goal of helping your DD.
Good Luck...Becky
PS. Happy late Birthday!
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~~~~Erin~~~~