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Post by aimee30 on Feb 2, 2004 21:18:46 GMT -5
We had our first psych appt today. Ex insisted on being there and voiced his opinions about DD not having ADHD. According to him she is a perfect angel over there. He told the lady today that DD was fine. He disagreed that every other weekend with him was free time. He insisted that they had structure over there, but from what I hear from the kids they don't have any. It is all free and fun time. I kind of felt like the lcsw was on his side. At one point I kind of lost control. I got very upset and started crying. I bawled him out right in front of lcsw. She told us she would have to get together with the psych and discuss it. I was fuming during the whole appt. She asked a lot of things that I wasn't comfortable with too. Some of the questions were personal. She asked about sexual abuse in both DD and any other family members along with domestic violence questions and some other stuff. I had told ex about the slumber party nightmare when it happened. He brought that up during the appt. I felt like it wasn't anything that needed to be discussed there. It has been reported and I don't consider it sexual abuse. Just curious as to what you all think. She also had me sign a release for her to go through the school and talk to them. I took in all the paperwork the school gave me what else does she need? She also told us that whoever brought DD in for her next appt. needed to bring in a copy of the divorce decree so that ex can call whenever he wants to find out what he wants. Of course I will be the one taking her in for the next appt. and I am not taking in a copy of the divorce decree. He is the one who wants to be able to call let him take the time off from work to take in the copy. Just felt like I needed to vent a little.  |
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Post by Amsmom on Feb 2, 2004 21:41:20 GMT -5
Hi Aimee,
So sorry that your birthday had to start out so crummy. How does that jerk ex think that he knows how your dd really behaves when he sees her no more than 4 days a month?! I used to have the same problem with my ex disagreeing on my ds's dx, but we dont even talk anymore. He never went to dr appts anyway. I forget, does your dd have problems in school as well? If so, the lcsw will see that it is not just your imagination when she sees the school report. Was the psych there today? Is a psychologist or psychiatrist? Don't worry, the psych (ologist or iatrist) will understand when you explain things as well as you do. Don't mean to bash social workers cause that is my field, but if she was showing favoritism toward one parent, that is unprofessional. I dont think a psychologist or psychiatrist will do that, especially since you are the primary parent. Good luck honey, you are a great mom!!!!
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Post by aimee30 on Feb 2, 2004 22:34:02 GMT -5
Thank you! I think I just needed to hear a few kind words today.
It is a psychiatrist and she/he is only there on Tuesdays. DD does have problems in school. I had the school report with me. What more do they want? She said she was going to call the school though. Guess what I took in wasn't enough!?
As far as him being involved, this is the first time in her 6 year existence that he has been involved in anything. He has never been to any pediatrician appts. She had surgery when she was a year and a half old. He never went to any of those appts either. I just don't understand. Why is it that now, all of a sudden, he wants to be involved?
Hopefully the psych will go ahead and dx her. I just worry so much about all of this. Especially since I am the primary caregiver.
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Post by Honeysmom on Feb 2, 2004 22:53:16 GMT -5
Happy Birthday!!! ;D I can't figure out why all of a sudden some guys (and maybe women too??) decide that they are going to be involed now. I posted in the adult section about a fight that DH and I had (and believe me, the D wasn't for dear) about the same thing. I have been ding it all along and then all of a sudden he tried to take over. I appriciate the help, but don't even think if telling me that I am doing it wrong when you have choosen not to deal with it. Geez, some people's children!! Your doing a great job, so just keep doing what you are doing.  BTW what is lcsw? |
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Post by mctavish23 on Feb 2, 2004 23:16:20 GMT -5
Hi I just wanted to give you some support and encouragement, as well as some feedback, if I may. The first session with a child therapist is all about background info, especially developmental milestones, etc. As fas as ADHD is concerned, the more corroborating info the better.For example, most (80%) ADHD is genetic/inherited, altho you can acquire it at any point in life.That means that roughly one in four will acquire it(most commonly from some kind of head trauma or toxicity, etc). In terms of divorced parents, it is usual and customary to ask for a copy of the decree(but it doesnt say YOU have to be the one to provide it). In Minnesota, the custodial parent has choice of healthcare provider(dentist, pediatrician, therapist, etc).In issues regarding medication that usually is more complicated and depends on the individual physician and/ or the clinic or agency they work for( or private practice). There's an old saying that goes....."Good therapists are born and not educated,"meaning some people have a gift for communicating with people and establishing rapport.Rapport is everything in terms of the likelihood of success or failure.It's also true that you can't teach someone empathy in grad school or bestow common sense ( if they weren't born with it they're screwed in my book...lol). It is equally true that ....."therapy is more an art than a science," meaning a lot of what goes on cant be seen or measured, which goes back to rapport again. My respectful suggestion is to give it a day or two and then try and look at it from the LICSW's perspective.Perhaps it went better than you thought(I certainly hope so:)). Lastly, here's something to keep in mind as an FYI. In terms of ADHD rating scales the Conner's is the best hands down. It is one of only two rating scales that are normed on BOTH girls and boys.The other thing that doesnt get discussed much is that there's no written rule anywhere that says parent & teacher rating scales must match. Ideally, that is what you hope for, however, that isnt etched in stone somewhere on Mount DSM-IV. It sounds to me like the LICSW looks at this from the perspective of being part of a team, which is really what you hope for anyway. Lastly, check out Russell Barkley's ....Taking Charge of ADHD......In it , he encourages parents to become what he calls "executive parents," meaning the child is the Corp, you are the CEO and the docs and school are Your consultants.Parents who advocate the strongest for their kids( which sounds like everyone in this forum) , the kid usually gets better services. Sorry to take up so much space. I wish you and your daughter much good luck and success.Happy Birthday too! Take care, mctavish23(Robert) |
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Post by loveforeric on Feb 3, 2004 10:01:16 GMT -5
aimee30;
I am sorry you had a hard time with the appointment. Sometimes people do not look at a situation clearly. Maybe the next appt. will go better because the Psych. will have had time to take in the last visit and see that your ex is your ex for a reason... Good Luck....
I hope you had a Happy Birthday!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D
Have a peaceful day,
Christinacolor]
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