new to site 3 1/2yr old with adhd

[tinker12]

This is my 1st time on this site, so sorry if I ramble thru my story.......... My son has been going thru behavior and diet modification for the past 6 months. Also, working with the book Your Defiant Child. Started out well not doing so good now. His defiance has slowed down but his hyperactivity hasn't and his focus is nonexistant. Now we are starting to see self esteem issues, he says that he can't learn, it's hard, etc. We are going to pediatrician next week for height and weight check for meds. I have been crying for 3 days (therapist appt. was Monday) Therapist thinks that he is very smart but can't slow dwon enuf to focus. Scared to try meds but want to know now if it will help before pre school in the fall Thanks for listening all support appreciated

[tridlette]

Welcome aboard! Search around, ask any thing you want. Like is says on our home page, our primary goal here is acceptance.

We will all try to help you. I don't have experience with the hyperactive end... my son is accused of being lazy and is labelled an under achiever.

I do know ALOT about gifted kids... I have 3 with IQ's over 135...

Your son is very perceptive to know that he is having trouble learning already. He sounds like he is beyond a high IQ kid!

Most gifted kids will tell you that they can't learn because things are taught too slowly.

We will work with you as much as we can to encourage you, to help him, to travel through the school "policy" and all that you will need to keep your child as well adjusted as possible.

Again, welcome to our family.

Ask all you want... most of has asked the same questions at least a dozen times already.

Laurie

[tinker12]

Thanks so much, I have been going round and round with my mom all week, she is searching for a tangible reason why (TV, diet, etc). She can't grasp this is the way he is. This is a child that eats nothing but meat, fruit and vegetables (likes the idea of candy but not the actual taste of it LOL) His psych thinks he is gifted but we have to get him focused and see what level he learns at when we get his head clear. This is a child that can tell you what he did last Easter to a T but can't tell you what the letter A looks like!

[Linda]

Hi tinker and welcome....we have been where you are now....and there is lots of hope for your little guy. I was very scared of meds when Paul was dx at 6...so scared in fact when I gave him his first pill I kept him home from school to see for myself how he reacted...we were very lucky first try because the meds worked.

As far as your mom saying she doesn't know where he got it from...take a good hard look around in your family...so much ADHD is in the family from generation to generation....there are other reasons of course but this is a pretty strong one

Please let us know how the appointment goes and take care of yourself....you are a good mom.

BTW....Paul is my Grandson and we have raised him since he was an infant and he is now 16...and doing great

[tinker12]

Thanks so much, I actually just talked with my mom and her best friend is a Kindergarten teacher and she told my mom that I was definitely doing my son a favor by starting so young, so she is on the boat now. Our psych has observed him and evaluated his forms we filled out and really feels he is above average intelligence compared with other 3 1/2 yr old boys, is there an exact age when they can test his abilities, of course after we get his overworked mind in focus!!

[rosyred45]

Welcome Tinker12, you have definately come to the right place......my question, what is focusing,

Just kidding, glad to see that your mom decided to hope on board. It took my mom a bit to realize my son is, well, just like I was when I was his age, only I didn't have a dx or anything.....Like Linda said, look around the family, mine and my husband's family are full of hyper people.

You should see family functions, they are a real hoot ;D

I did notice about not being able to tell you what an A looks like, does your son where glasses? Or has he had his eyes checked? I have an astigmatism, and passed it to my son, so we have focusing problems and are far sighted.

Mikey's has NO attention span when he doesn't wear his glass because he can't focus, so he figures he'll do what he wants or what he sees, literally.

Take care

[finnmom]

Hi Tinker12, welcome as I´ve already said in another thread. You´ve came to the right place for support and understanding, we have great bunch of people in here.

we´ve all been there where you´re right now. Your comment of last eastern/letter A almost made me laugh; my ds is just the same, he can tell all the planet´s and their position in this universe, but cant really answer if he had homework or not

Just face it, these kid´s have such a huge capacity in tehm, we just need to dig little deeper to get it out in the open. I love the impression "out-of-box-thinker" that´s just what my ds is

[tinker12]

he had his eyes checked in august; he literally cannot focus on school work it has gotten to where he can't focus on anything, even his favorite activities. He just flutters in the house from one thing to another. At dinner he is up and down up and down....... he eats like a horse it just takes him thirty minutes to do it!

[Linda]

;D ;D ;D ;D ;DHad to laugh...Paul used to do the same thing...up and down from the table until he was about 7 or 8...drove me nuts ;D ;D

[mom2tj]

tinker, I cant help you much sorry, but I am just wondering how did they test a 3 1/2 yo?

see I have a 3yo that I would bet my house is adhd with a bit H in there.... he will folow in the footsteps of his older brother

I am asking for testing but my ped sais he is to young. he is a bright boy but doest not talk much yet he has a severe speach delay is that the reason they cant test him yet?

my older boy was not hyper so was not tested before school started, but my little one, I see it from now

he is in pre-k ans is already labeled the "bad one" its just the beginning

[tinker12]

momtj: our pediatrician started out last march working with us on ideas to modify his behavior when those suggestions didn't work we started seeinh a child psychologist that specializes in adhd and odd. We have been with her plan since sept. and it has helped with his defiance but his hyperactivity has gotten worse and he has started saying it is hard to learn, it;s too much etc and he is going to pre school in the fall. Our pediatrician and psych have worked close this whole time and want to try meds before pre school and see if that works since he has started with the self esteem issues of having a hard time learning. He is also still having quite a few meltdowns. We are continuing therapy with the psych

[mothercat]

hi Tinker ,
Alot of adhd children are extremely gifted so yours probably is too...its just the focusing thing..I think we all have been there. Sometimes I think Jared is focused like so far past the point that he is supposed to be on that we are the ones who are slow to catch up .
You will always have family and people who look for reasons and excuses for adhd..it needs no reason..it just is. Lord all our families are full of it. I was scared of meds at first too.
My Jared (11)still squats like a chimp in his chair at dinner...repeatedly told to sit but we know how that works. You are lucky to have a 3 yr old that will eat the right foods....mine is sooo picky and if it is a veg..... well forget that. Hang around and these other ladies will teach you alot ..they are a wealth of good info..and unlike alot of sites ..they actually care. Good luck next week.

[tinker12]

Noah has known his colors since he was 18 months old, as a matter of fact there for a while he referred to everything by its color. It took us a while to get him to accept that there are really numbers and that he can count. Letters are simply unattainable to him it seems like

[tridlette]

tinker12 said:

Noah has known his colors since he was 18 months old, as a matter of fact there for a while he referred to everything by its color.

I remember taking Michael in for his 4 yr. check up. The doctor had all those stupid developmental questions:

Can Michael name 5 colors?
He can name 5 shades of blue.

Can Michael count to 10?
Only on an off day, he prefers to count to 100.

Michael, what is a stove for?
Mom cooks on hers, Dad uses his to keep the house warm.

Michael, what do you do when it gets cold outside?
I go skiing. What do you do?

I just opened up the mail... Michael's IEP for special ed. They point out repeatedly that he has an IQ of 138, and has proficiency in math and reading beyond high school level. He isn't passing his gifted ed. classes, so they want to give him remedial help. Here is the "measurable annual goal": Michael will seek assistance from the Itinerant teacher to maintain satisfactory grades within the general curriculum.

How is that measurable? He is expected to achieve 80% of that goal. how? define 80% please.

Sorry, I guess I should go back to the education section and post this, but I just wanted to let you know... even the self proclaimed best school district in the county doesn't know what to do with our antsy geniuses.

Learn all you can now. There is a great tutorial at the tourette syndrome web site. Start going through it now and become an expert on navigating the system before your son starts "formal" school.

[tinker12]

Thank you for the advice tridlette, the city we live in has one of the top ten school districts in the state but I also hear stories about the advanced classes and how they have become "who you are" based on the limited space available. I have already started looking into other instituted of learning in our area depending on how the next year goes. I haven't asked our psych yet, but can you tell me when they usually start intellect testing?