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Post by Becca1101 on Feb 14, 2005 9:26:03 GMT -5
We recently found out that my 9 year old has Inattentive ADHD. She seems to lie about the silliest things, and it is really beginning to be a problem. Is this common? I keep trying to explain to her that she will get in more trouble for lying than for what ever it was that she had done, but everytime, her answer is that she was afraid that she would get into trouble. Any suggestions?  |
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Post by finnmom on Feb 14, 2005 9:51:30 GMT -5
Becca Welcome to our online family, feel free to ask and post, we have quite lot of information in here and very supportive member´s. For your problem; I think lying is quite common amongst adhd kid´s, or that´s how it seem´s. My ds9 does it a lot too, sometime´s on occasion´s it seem´s pretty stupid, me standing in his side and looking at him doing something and still he might lye about it  I think it´s partly impulsive, partly seflesteem-issue and partly.... I dont know what. You´re deffenately not alone with this. Good suggestion´s.... well...I have to think a while. |
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mothercat
Member Emeritus
With a little luck and a lot of Gods help anything is possible!
Posts: 1,468
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Post by mothercat on Feb 14, 2005 10:00:18 GMT -5
I think it is common too and mostly an impluse / fear of punishment reaction. Have you ever noticed that it is the adhd kids who ALWAYS get accused first and blamed for anything that might happen. I think there is a misconception about behavior and all adhd kids just being bad children in general and of course we know it is one of the oldest myths out there. As for my child I just explained it to him that way and told him that lying made him wrong no matter what but by telling the truth he was being honest about his mistakes and it 's easier to get past things when you are honest. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt .
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Post by camismom on Feb 14, 2005 12:35:25 GMT -5
I'm going to go out on a limb and say I think it's just common for this age, ADHD or not. I have a step-dd that was the world's worst at this very age. We even had to have a family meeting about it (both set of parents involved) because she was stirring up trouble between the two. And yes, I remember my dd (ADHD), and my other step-dd (non ADHD) being the same way around that age. I too believe it is just the fear of getting in trouble. Just keep hammering home that it is best to tell the truth and get minimal punishment than to lie and get double. Good luck.
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Post by kstquilter on Feb 14, 2005 13:07:22 GMT -5
my experience is that lying is super common. dd is nearly 20 and we've had to threaten to kick her out of the house and mean it in order to get her to quit lying. still doubt she's quit but maybe doing it a little less. unfortunately, alot of these kids are so smart they can lie really well, make up stories and hide things. makes it very difficult to catch them at times.
she lies to her friends, herself and us. i have no doubt it has to do with impulse control. my non-adhd son rarely if ever lies. i know he did the typical kid sort of thing but nothing like dd.
wish i could help you with ideas but nothing much has helped over the years.
karen
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Post by Linda on Feb 14, 2005 13:46:10 GMT -5
I totally agree with Christy...It is age related... ADHD or not.  Very common...just keep after her and call her on every little thing she lies about. |
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Post by mom2tj on Feb 14, 2005 14:49:22 GMT -5
welcome...
I also think its age not ADHD the first time I found my 9yo lying I tested him I told him only two people new the truth and if he could live with himself knowing that God know the truth then its up to him.
he told me the truth that day and I dont think he has ever lied since when I think he will I remind him that he can never hide from God so! grant it this doent work with all kids...... I also tell him if he gets in trouble and doent tell me and I then find out BOY wach out and I have come down on him big time once for that...... he knows better that I am way more understanding when it comes from him not others.....
good luck...
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Post by finnmom on Feb 14, 2005 15:35:18 GMT -5
I'm going to go out on a limb and say I think it's just common for this age, ADHD or not. I think Christy is right, it´s not just adhd but all kid´s. I know my 6y dd does that when she think´s she might be in trouble.....  |
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Post by brookesmom on Feb 15, 2005 7:08:11 GMT -5
With dd I call her on it right away if it is a simple lie. For something deeper or with moral implications I do remind her of her obligation to God and give her a little space to come forward with the truth. She always does and then we can talk more openly about why she should be truthful.
She is definitely more impulsive with lying then my 8 year old.
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Post by AnneM on Feb 15, 2005 11:59:18 GMT -5
I also agree with everyone who says it is age-related and not adhd-related at least in most cases .... I also think that ANY child (regardless of adhd or not!) will often lie to get themselves out of a corner ... e.g. "I didn't do it... !" "I was nowhere near it!" .... etc.etc. when you meantime know darn well that they DID do it (whatever it was!)  |
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Post by mskris on Feb 15, 2005 12:29:12 GMT -5
Totally agree with other posters. My ds 9 (adhd) hardly ever lies these days, since he knows I don't punish for telling the truth. However, my dd 6 (not adhd, though I'm beginning to wonder! ) has been lying about everything lately! She lies when she knows I've seen her do it ("I didn't do it.") It's unbelievable (in many ways). I can't seem to get her to stop. I'm going to try the God reference and we shall see if there's any improvement. Kris |
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Post by songwriter on Feb 16, 2005 9:47:33 GMT -5
Major Ditto to what many of you are saying-
Our biggest lying episodes came from our non adhd boy when he was about 9 or 10
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Post by Linda on Feb 16, 2005 9:51:03 GMT -5
Besides it is not like we didn't do it when we were kids....I know I did  |
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Post by finnmom on Feb 16, 2005 10:09:34 GMT -5
I didnt do it  |
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Post by camismom on Feb 16, 2005 10:14:14 GMT -5
Who me? I've never told a lie! (She says as her nose grows. hehe) Now Linda, we can't be letting Cami know mom was like her too at one time. |
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