Public opinion on ADHD kids and retardation

[rls71929]

Okay, I have to vent here...I was watching television briefly last night when I realized what the plot of the drama (heavy on the DRAMA). A small child was diagnosed ADHD and epileptic. He was killed by his Foster Dad who called 911 right before he killed the boy stating the boy was out of hand and was driving him crazy. THe background of the call was the child screaming and yelling and it showed the boy at times crawling around and just acting mentally retarded. It upset me because when kids see this sort of thing and even the general public, then they think that all ADHD kids are retarded. And, as you all know, that is far from the truth. So, do ya'll feel the same way? Am I being over sensitive? I just worry that my son will feel really handicapped when he gets older and sees public reaction to ADHD. Goodness, I even hear jokes relating to kids with ADHD. People that don't have to deal with it think it is humorous. Ya'll enlighten me and tell me how you deal with such attitudes. I am trying to keep a good attitude here...thanks in advance for your thoughts.

[rosyred45]

Can't say as I blame you for venting. I would be too. For ADHD or any other DX for anything to be compaired to each other or misrepresented is such BS.

My son has ADHD. He isn't mentally retarded, handicapped, or anything else. So I feel like an idiot when I complain. But he gets to the point where I have to complain or I'd explode.

Where as, my landlords daughter, who is around 35or 40 is mentally handicapped. She isn't as severe as some people, she has a capacity to which is comparable to a 17 yr old. She had her driver's liscence for a while, but I'm not sure if she still has it or not. She can live with her boyfriend, but she has very high anxiety when it comes to disrupting her schedule. My land lord says that she has always been able to set her watch by her. But if someone or something is late, watch out because she has a temper too.

I don't see things too negatively, so I usually blow off people that make nasty comments with something pertaining to they wouldn't last a day in someone elses shoes. And let them think about it.

Everyone has their strong points and everyone has their weaknesses. I don't care who it is, most of the time people have the open mouth insert foot syndrome. I'm guilty of that sometimes too, but I try not to offend anyone when I speak (or type).

That's my problem too, I am impulsive when it comes to answering questions :oI say the first thing that comes to mind. Some times it helps other times it ticks someone off, but it isn't meant that way. Just matter of fact that's all

Well, hope I didn't offend anyone with the novel

[buttercup]

Rrrr...there is a really snotty snob of a woman at work who, weirdly, really likes me. Apparently she doesn't realize that she is speaking to someone who is a poster child for ADHD and one of her favorite obnoxious opinions is about "the whole ADHD sham." She goes on and on and on about how "these people are just spoiled little whiners with no discipline" etc. I don't feel like educating her and either making myself a target or embarrassing the daylights out of her. I guess we pick our battles.

I kind of just think that I get support from the sources where I need it. I guess people will continue to make fun of others where an abnormality, especially one that affects behavior, is present. Just have to learn to handle your issues; knowledge really helps to feel secure. People, even the most ignorant ones, usually become a WHOLE lot more compassionate after being your friend and discovering that this is what you are dealing with. I have decided not to try to educate the world by taking them on.

[Linda]

buttercup....blow it off!!!There will always be ignorant people who don't care enough to educate themselfs but they think they know all the answers!!

sore point with me...can you tell? lol ;D

[catseye]

Oh I think I saw part of that! However I only saw it after the foster son had died, I didnt realize the foster son was ADHD... Was it SVU (or something like that)?

Anyway HAD I known the murdered child was ADHD I would of been tweaked too... There is already such an awful stigma with ADHD kids, the media, hollywood whatever should NOT be adding to people's fears...

My goodness reminds me of the AIDS epidemic, and all the falsehoods, when that first came out (ex could get from touching a person with it, sneezing etc..)..

I think media, and holywood have a responcibility to portray these things realisticly, not some far fetched assumption of what ADHD is all about... WHEW... Ok It DID strike a nerve obviously! LOL

cat

[rosyred45]

I musta rubbed someone the wrong way, when I typed another thing, my comp froze up, so let me try again...

And I agree with Linda, don't let her get to ya, just because some people have nothing better to do with thier time than be critical of others, shows you what kind of life they have!

NONE!!!

I hate the stigma Hollywood puts on when it comes to just about everything. Just depends on what is hot at the moment

I can say, for me personally, I kid around with other parents that have kids with disablilties. The reason I do is because it is a tension breaker for me and for them if I would like to know something or if they would like to tell me something with out sounding like they are making excuses, because of whatever is happening.

One kid was having a hard time because of dysgraphsia and Asperger's, BUT you sit him in front of an educational show or a book with pictures explaining something...BAM he can tell you a month from now specifics that you'd have long forgotten about. His mom shakes her head sometimes because she says that's about all she can do to cope.

And as we talk, our kids go from fighting about facts to playing next to each other because they agree to disagree to playing like nothing happened. No grudges, no nothing. That to me is something special and it says alot about what others should be learning from our kids.

[rls71929]

Catseye, yes, I think it was SVU. I see that I am not the only one that hits a nerve with. Thanks for all the input. Also, I know there are sooooo many people that have health problems worse than my son. I too feel guilty for complaining. Really guilty. So, having found this website relieves some of that guilt. Thanks all.

[finnmom]

Rls, it would have hit my nerve too

What really bug´s me, is the stigma of mom´s of adhdér, I´ve seen in many paper´s and so on the main thought that (only) alcoholic-mom´s get adhd-kid´s hmmmmm......

But like said; let it go! Just forget it! There will always be people with hurtfull thought´s and opinion´s of adhd, autism, epiöeptic, jew´s, african american´s...you name it and I´ll bet you someone can make a joke/threat of it

That´s what this world is BUT luckily; there are people like US

[camismom]

Add me to the list of people that would have struck a nerve with. I know I shouldn't be, but I have always been hyper-sensitive to comments on ADHD and people making jokes of it.

I was in a Sunday school class I never felt really "fitting" in at church one Sunday when someone in the class was getting silly and loud. Another class member quipped, "dang, give that girl a ritalin. Her ADHD is showing." The rest of the class burst into laughter while I sat there stone-faced. I was asked what was wrong and I told them I didn't find that little joke humurous at all, that my dd HAS ADHD and takes Ritalin for it and if it is something you live with on a daily basis, you don't find it funny. " Everyone got real quiet then, and the next week I found a different class.

[Linda]

Good for you Christy...I have heard parents refer to there kids meds as "chill pills" and that ticks me off.

[rosyred45]

I don't know what's worse when it comes to meds and kids "acting up". The kid using it for an excuse or the parent? I do not mean for that to be regarded as a rude comment, so PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT THAT WAY!!!

My neighbor, after we talked about Mikey and thier kid, said she couldn't wait till the meds were perscribed since she didn't like her kid to begin with AND would rather have her spaced out so she would at least shut up!!!!!! Now that is ignorant, but expecially to say AND mean it?!?!?!? And she meant it too :oThat is what has my panties in a bunch. The girl is a sweet girl, she just needs guidence, and yes, I have seen her in action and been able to deal with her. No problem for me.

[MomX2]

Oh yea, they tell jokes about ADHD on our local radio stations. When they call me for their so called opinion polls about their station I hang up on them. It's not like they care about my opinion in reality. You know a large percentage of the people who tell jokes like that have their own problems and would probably be really embarrassed if we took a closer look at their life to see what kind of joke they are for us.

I think to some extent you need to be lighthearted. On the other hand how is a child who is seeing a doctor every other week and taking daily medication really supposed to react to those types of jokes that they know well are directed toward them? I'm sure they feel just a bad as a kid in a wheelchair when people turn their disability into a joke.

It may actually be harder for these people to stop telling jokes in some cases. Telling aggressive and hurtful jokes frequently can actually be a symptom of mania as seen in Bipolar Disorder.

[rosyred45]

When I was younger, someone told me, after I was getting teased and very upset: AT LEAST THEY ARE THINKING OF YOU.

I thought I'd rather not be thought of then, but looking back at it, that is part of my scheme of things. They are thinking of me for whatever reason and not thinking of someone else. ;DSelf centered and shallow, yes, BUT, it works, especially when you flat out tell someone that just said something nasty to or about you: Thanks for thinking of me, then walk away....leaves them dumbfounded for words ;D