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Post by Honeysmom on Dec 16, 2003 0:57:15 GMT -5
OK, we live on a farm so animals having babies is not a big head turner here. But my problem is that Honey is asking too many questions. He is only 4, so obviously it is too young for a birds and bees talk. He wants to know all the names of various body parts, what their functions are, and so on. He also want to know why babies come out of people's and animals butts. I do not mind his curiosity, but I also do not want to give him alot of information that may scare him or make him misinformed.
What is a good way to handle this? Is is best to anwser all questions, do I use proper names for body parts, or can I say go ask your dad, (pick this one, pick this one) or just say we'll talk about it when you are older.
Some of my friends tell me that kinds need to know the truth and never to make up names for body parts. Others tell me that I should just tell him enough to keep him quiet. So pplleeaassee help.
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Post by milesofsmiles on Dec 16, 2003 9:35:23 GMT -5
My wife is a nurse and has seen it all and then some. We have always used the correct body part names with our son. We also have told him that those are private parts and not to go telling others about it. Don't want him running around saying "Hey, I've got a xxxx, you've got a yyyy). As far as where your son has seen baby animals coming out of (to put it politely), I think that I would go down the lines of telling him that there is a special place inside mommy's that babys are allowed to grow. When they are old enough, the babys will ..... yeah I can see this is a touch subject.... I will have to consult my wife on this one. Sorry to leave you hanging.... Miles  |
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Post by Douglas on Dec 16, 2003 9:52:53 GMT -5
Agreed, correct names are best.
The most effective approach is to answer questions directly and at the level of sophistication that they are asked. Attempting to explain an answer beyond the intent or the complexity of the question is a waste of time; a single-sentence question, for a four-year-old, should yield a single-sentence answer. If the information conveyed does not satisfy the child's curiosity, then a follow-up question will emerge. The guiding principle should be to let the depth and tone of the exchange be set by the child. Usually it will take very little to satisfy the child's curiosity. Shying away from the subject only teaches the child that it is a subject to be shied away from. Over-complicating it will only intimidate the child later. A matter-of-fact, comfortable response not only makes the information easier to assimilate for the child, but smooths the path between parent and child later on.
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Post by finnmom on Dec 16, 2003 12:28:59 GMT -5
Gotta agree with you guys! The real name´s are the best, but only age-accurate, as Douglas said, only answer to the asked question, no wurther information needed. Natural information, when asked, help´s to answer the more detailed question when needed(hopely not so early ;D). it´s also very important to theach not to shout out loud those bodypart´s in public ;D Help´s to avoid many emparassing situation´s  Good luck! Marja |
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Post by Honeysmom on Dec 16, 2003 14:34:45 GMT -5
Thanks, all of you. I though proper names were the way to go. I just do not want him using them in embaressing situations. Boy, I hope he can be less impulsive on this one.
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Post by rosyred45 on Dec 17, 2003 8:53:01 GMT -5
OH my the memories. Tara was 2 1/2 when Mikey was born. Well, she knew the names of body parts because she asked. So, one day she went on a tangent of Mikey, Daddy, Uncle Kevin, Poppy, Pop-pop....all have a {male part} and mommy, [her], Nanny, Aunt Nancy..... all have {female parts}.
We have always called them approprate terms. I can't stand when every thing ends in "y" or "ie". We did strech the truth with me nursing Mikey. I told her he was getting coffee from one and Orange Juice from the other. ;D
I thought, since I laughed she understood, until my mom informed me that she knew what Mikey was having for breakfast. So, I fessed up.
Along the lines of the birds and the bees, Tara just turned 9, so I am not looking forward to it. She did ask where babies came from when she was 4. I told her a sperm and egg came together and made a baby. She watched PBS earlier, and it backed it up, so she didn't ask any further. Lucked out on that one.
Kaiti
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Post by Honeysmom on Dec 17, 2003 12:18:30 GMT -5
See, now Honey will say to people do you have a whatever, and then he'll say oh, so then you are a boy, or you are a girl. I told him it is not polite to talk about those things with people other than mommy, daddy, and the doctor.
He is also very confused as to why cows have udders and people don't. I tried to explain, but he doesn't get it. Maybe he'll forget for a while.
It is just like naughty words. How is it that you let it slip one time and suddenly they know when and it what context to use it? Honey asked me a few weeks ago where is " Dam" daddy went. That goodness he did not use the big naughty form...
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