My Story

[SKay]

While my son was still very young, it became very obvious that he has a lot of energy. He often got in trouble for goofing off and not obeying. Then this past spring he really started having problems paying attention and sitting in school. Around this time I learned of actor Christopher Knight’s (aka Peter on The Brady Bunch) diagnosis of ADD. Reading about his experience sparked my curiosity about the disorder. Like many others, I had always thought that ADHD was probably due to poor parenting and psychological problems from the troubled families we have now (this is not meant to be critical of others--it's just a fact of society today). While Chris has said himself that his family life was not great, I have read enough that I now see enough physical characteristics that I believe this is not just a psychological disorder. The first hint of wondering about a physical problem being involved came after hearing of a child whose symptoms improved after starting on some good quality nutritional supplements. Probably partly because of Chris, I started reading more about the disorder and consequently have learned some things about myself.

I don’t remember struggling much in school; in fact I never felt that I really tried my hardest, but I was still able to maintain a B average. The one exception to not struggling was in reading. I remember having to do independent reading, dreading it, and not doing as much of it as I was supposed to. In junior high I didn’t finish the books we were supposed to read. I had always thought that I simply just did not like to read. As an adult I love getting the information, but have come to realize that the reason I don’t like to read is that it is such a chore. I read and reread in order to understand. Sometimes I wonder if I really do absorb more than I think and am just trying to soak up every bit of meaning from each word. I wonder how well I would do if I could force myself not to reread and then take a comprehension test over the material afterward. Writing sometimes was also a problem in school. In high school, one teacher, in order to prepare us for college, gave tests comprised totally of essay questions. I don’t know if I ever received a grade higher than a C on any of his examinations. (It didn’t help that the subject was of a political nature.)

As far as social interactions go, I have always been very shy—painfully shy. Junior high was absolutely devastating for me. The cruelty of my peers at school would have been more than I could bear had it not been for the grace of God: He gave me friends at church. I don’t exactly remember what this feeling was like, but I remember feeling not quite human—like I was sort of subhuman. There were things I could have done to possibly improve my situation at school, but I knew that it would have increased the teasing, even if only temporary. It is very difficult for me to talk to others, especially about my feelings. That is why I’m writing this. Sometimes the feelings just beg for an outlet.

What I have really come to realize in the past few months is my tendency toward obsessive behavior. Fortunately, I don’t drink alcohol and have never been involved in a damaging addiction like that. It’s just that I go over and over certain things in my mind and try to look at things from every possible angle. If I don’t have something to research or study, I get bored, and then depression sets in. Sometimes I have trouble moving on to something else when I know I need to. I have also realized that I love organization because I’m totally lost without it.

There are some typical ADD characteristics that I don’t have, however: I’m very detailed, am not impulsive (it takes me forever to make even simple decisions sometimes), am not creative, and didn’t enjoy the sciences in school (there are a few areas I do find interesting now, though).

Well, anyone who reads through all this deserves a big hand. Thanks for letting me "talk."

[Dad2Brooke]

SKay thank you for sharing that.

I know from experience that just typing something like that can be cathartic.

Have you ever been diagnosed with ADD? IMO, from what you wrote it doesn't sound like you are.

Has you son been diagnosed? How old is he?

And don't worry, that's what this site is here for. Talking and support ;D

[SKay]

Thanks for your reply. No, I haven't been diagnosed ADD, nor has my son been diagnosed. I have shown "highly probable" for 3 types of ADD as described by Dr. Amen. But that was just based on my own answers to questions about me--hard to be objective about myself. I'm reading one of Dr. Amen's books right now. I should learn more from that. I have little doubt that my son would be diagnosed ADHD if he were evaluated. May have that done sometime.

[HooDunnit]

Hi Skay. Thanks for writing your story. Our 17-year-old son is ADHD, as he was diagnosed as that when he was 10. He was "great deal / severe" -- two points from the top of the scale. I have a couple of the characteristics of the ADD profile, but not enough to be classified that way. From what you write about yourself, my initial impression is that that has more to do with an obsessive personality pattern than ADD. What you say about reading, for example, "I read and reread in order to understand. Sometimes I wonder if I really do absorb more than I think and am just trying to soak up every bit of meaning from each word." My son is very distractible but also capable of long periods of hyperfocusing. The effect on his reading is that he can read for hours on end without a break. But the hyperfocusing does not cause him to bog down, but just to read normally but without any breaks. He is kind of in a tunnerl with it, but the reading itself is normal. Do you have any compulsive behaviors? I have a good friend who is OCD, and it is both a strength and a weakness for him. There is always a plus side to all these things.

Barry

[SKay]

I have wondered about OCD, but if I have it, it must be a pretty mild case. I don't do the repeated handwashing or anything like that.

As far as the reading goes, I've about decided that it is the rereading like ADDers do afterall. I am, of all things, a proofreader. Other proofreaders comprehend what they are reading, but I haven't told them that I don't. When they say, "This is an interesting story" I just have to knod my head and smile. It's really a shame because I miss classics like Ben Hur and Moby D i c k. As a proofreader I compare copies to make sure nothing went wrong when the book layout was done. So I'm really just reading words; that's perfect for me. I guess I got a little off the subject. Anyway, I may try an experiment like trying to read something once and then write a summary to see how much I comprehended.

One OCD web site mentioned low serotonin being a possible cause. It seems that problem keeps coming up when I read about different symptoms that I have; maybe I should look into it further.

[HooDunnit]

The friend that I have with OCD doesn't have any behavioralisms like handwashing, etc. But he has control issues. He is desparately afraid that things will get out of control. For example -- with information. He buys many newspapers every day, but doesn't have near enough time to read them all. So he cuts out all the articles that he is interested in and keeps them at home. If I show him an article, he will say, "Yes, I saw that, I have it at home." But he won't have read it. So mountains of articles pile up -- mostly unread. But he has them under control -- he could read them. They haven't got away from him. Actually, the big problem he has is when something gets away from him. He goes to thirty or forty garage sales per week in the summer. He lays out all the locations on a map. But if he gets to a garage sale and something has just been sold that he wants or doesn't have, he will be depressed / discouraged about it for weeks. He will go over and over it in his mind -- how it got away from him. If his route could only have been different. If he had only been there twenty minutes earlier. He collects old LPs and old informational references (books). The foundaton of his house is actually cracking from the weight of all the things he has on various shelves on this main floor.

Barry

[SKay]

I don't think I do anything like your friend, but I would be a neat-freak if I weren't so indecisive. It's funny, but in my house, cabinets, drawers etc. are usually neat (where I have any control), but countertops, etc. are cluttered. I am a perfectionist, am very detailed, and am a little paranoid. My husband laughs at me, because I don't like to lick envelopes--don't like ingesting who-knows-what; besides who knows where some of the envelopes have been. I laugh about it too, but I still won't lick them. Well, I've got plenty of other quirks, but I won't bother with others right now.

[Honeysmom]

Skay, I found your story very interesting. I remember from the old site that you were very shy.

I know what you mean about being obsessed in information. I am the same way. If Honey has a new bahavior I have to chek it out right away. And I cannot get enough. I can read and read and read for hours about things that involve my kids. I can also read a book for fun just as fast.

I also get obsessed about myself. It is really self centered (we talked about that if you remember?) but I am getting better.

I remember that you were writed or working on a book or a pamphlet on your beliefs. Are you still, or is it done? I would be really interested in it. Glad to hear from you...Becky

[SKay]

Becky (Honeysmom), you have a good memory! I sometimes have trouble remembering who's who here and whom I've "talked" to. Anyway, I am still working on the booklet. A friend was going to help me with part of it, but he has moved out of state and has been really busy. So I'm trying to work on that part myself. Would you like to see it as is or wait until I think I'm done? (The part I'm still working on just sounds a little awarkward or incomplete but is ok.) I'm hoping to have it finished in the next 2 or 3 weeks--having trouble getting the time to work on it.

[Honeysmom]

Skay, I would like to see it, but I can wait until it is done. It is something that you put on the internet or mail out?

[SKay]

It's just on the computer right now so I can mail it or copy it and e-mail it, either way.

The friend who is trying to help me with it showed up in town today; he said he tried to finish it and bring it, but he couldn't. I'll continue to work on it.