Competition

[milesofsmiles]

So, how ya'all getting along when it comes to playing games, or sports with your spouse? For me I don't take it seriously, I just enjoy the company. I don't care if I make a fool out of myself, if I don't win, or if I win. I cheer for my opponents when the win, I am just out there to have fun. My wife on the other hand takes a game personally and very seriously. That is were the fun leaves me. If I cheer for anyone at the table or game, it is considered a personal attack on her. If I do really well, I cannot express it because it is like me rubbing her face in it. I have always said that it does not matter who wins, but it does not matter.

We had a party for our son last weekend, and had his cousins over(8 and under). They and my wife were playing a game of table hockey. The five year old scored a goal against my wife's team and I cheered. Heck, all the adults were cheering for the little ones all afternoon. The puck went in, I cheered, like I had been doing all afternoon. I could clearly see my wifes lips mouthing some really bad words at me. My cue to leave...as I did I was heeled in the shin. I said both before and after the kick that I was just cheering for the goal, I didn't care where it went. It was just a game. I am in shock, I am not sure what to say to her, and have not said a word to her for the past 2 days. I think an apology is in order, but I don't see one coming any time soon. I am almost positive that she has justified what happened and I deserved it.

I am real tempted to take every game in the house and give it to the Salvation Army, or Goodwill. I am through! I want to make a point. I guess not talking is getting us nowhere and I will have to break down and start talking.

Uggg,
Miles

[mothercat]

I do have a large disdain for competition and learned long ago never to beat my hubby at games. Years ago I beat him and his buddies at a game called RISK and when they found out I was playing for fun with no strategdy they got very upset. I liked the colors of the countries and pieces and went for that..heck I had no idea where or who half the countries were..let alone war strategdy...they wouldn't let me play anymore and he didn't speak for several days. We have both matured over the years... he played Clue with the youngest the other night and acted like he had no idea what he was doing. Of course there by letting Jared win.

I think the schools stress competition too much in the sports area and it has a bad impact as kids grow up.
The ones who get more involved tend to take losses more seriously. I remember years back when my dad was coaching cub scout softball ...he intentionally set his team up to lose once because they were behaving smugly towards other players who werent as good. Its okay to be competitive but it gets too serious for some.

Your wife owes you an apology but dont look to get it...we wives have a waver in the vows that says we are allowed a few exceptions ya know. Just forgive and next time you play declare yourself Swedish. (they have such good ideas sometimes)

[finnmom]

Miles and Mothercat You sure have problem´s

I like to play game´s, but loosing all the time really s##´s, I like to win better than loose, but ....I dont get mad over that eather...might stop playing in the next appropriate moment thou

Miles, I think you owe her no apologie´s, you did nothing wrong, but dont expect any apologies eather, as you said, your wife propably think´s you´re wrong

I dont know what to say...... but wishing strength to both of you.

And Mothercat; what about swedish...I loosed that one totally

[Linda]

Yikes There are few games that I have EVER played with my dh....He has to win and I just like to have fun...period. I will not play cards with anyone...there seems to always be a sore loser.

Yeah your wife needs to say she is sorry twice...one for poor sportsmanship and the other for getting kicked in the shin...OUCH

[eaccae]

Miles - what your wife did was so not right. But I have a feeling it goes way back to childhood. It may take a lot for her to actually see how competitive she actually is. Or it may be something else that is bothering her.

DH's cousins (we are all very close) are terribly competitive. They were raised that way. His Aunt & Uncle are awesome and I love them to death - but they definitely fostered an unhealthy competitiveness between the three girls. It has reached down to the children as well. We had a problem with Xander and his cousin's daughter getting ridiculously competitive that we had to stop getting together for a while. They didn't like that too much and at least between the two fo them there are no longer competitions. But when her cousins come over . . . there was once an argument regarding the rules of Mancala between the kids. It turned into a pretty big argument between the two adult sisters - it was a game of Mancala on Thanksgiving and the situation could have easily been diffused but instead they took it to a ridiculous level. And then it simmered long after the argument. Hey - it's been a year and I think it is still simmering!!!

My sister's sister threw a game of risk at her husband once in a terrible show of unsporting compeition! It was a continuing problem in their marriage. She said later that those feelings came out because she felt in general that her husband was quietly putting her down (he had no idea that she felt this way and he - in his mind - wasn't doing this at all) and then in games, etc. it came out more.

Anyway - I would talk to her and let her know how you feel and try to get to the bottom of why she did what she did. I doubt it was just because you cheered for a 5 year old. there is something else going on there.

[Allanque]

My brother and I have been forbidden to play Monopoly in our house for years because Mom got tired of us getting mad and yelling at each other and needing a referree.

[mothercat]

finnmom I just love the swedish because they have such a good outlook and are always so wonderfully understanding and non sided..They seem to have it all together compared to us in the usa. They are good sports no matter what.
If i had to move anywhere I think it would be there . Its pretty and the people all seem so mellow and nice. ( I have met some swedish people who are older and moved here (for some strange reason) and they are just really great people.
I read a book once (actually there are more than one by the same author) called "PaPa's Daughter" amd "Mama's Way" by a lady named Thyra Ferre Bjorn . She is swedish and I have idolized her outlook for many years now. Anytime my kids get in a fight I remember her books and say leave me out I claim Swedish today.

[finnmom]

Mothercat you know Finland and Sweden are bordering neighbour´s? So, in a name of a "neighbour-love" I kind a disagree with you

[mothercat]

Finnmom ..yeah I know they are neighbors??? please dont tell me all my notions of a nice nuetral place are a myth?? How sad . Dont you like Sweden??? and here I thought it would be a nice place to live ...gee whiz... in the books it is such a wonderland.

[finnmom]

Hey, nothing wrong with Sweden( but the fact that it´s not Finland ) You can keep your ideas of it, actually the hole scandinavia is quite like you´ve been imaging(all the goos thing´s I mean )

It´s just my patriotic hart that want´s to compare everything to MY country ;D

[mothercat]

finn mom I sent you a message so I wouldn't drag the thread off subject any more than I have already.

[finnmom]

all right Mothercat, and SORRY MILES for steling your thread...( but it´s kind competition too )

[Allanque]

Mothercat, I thought it was Switzerland that was known for its neutrality.

Maybe Sweden is too, but it's not the first that comes to mind.

[rosyred45]

ALRIGHT, this is not a geography bee ;D ;D

My husband used to play those football pools at work, not this job, a different one, well, One week I picked my teams bacause I liked them, not because of stats adn anyone else's talking.

Guess who won? ME
Guess who was told they cheated and was banned from playing again ME
Guess what Mike told them

Still trying to figure out how to cheat on a football pool

[milesofsmiles]

Ummm, Mike said, "Gentlemen, thank you for allowing me to donate to your pool. I will no longer be participating since my wife has become a professional gambler and we are moving to Vegas to live off our earnings...."

Was I close?

Miles