Post by shardstar on Oct 9, 2004 16:36:39 GMT -5
What do you do when you have the same stupid fight with your spouse over and over and over again???
This is the problem. DH constantly leaves everything, including very important papers, laying all over the house. Most of the time, he walks in the house with things, and lays them on the kitchen counter. (Don't worry, honey, I can just prepare meals around the clutter!) If I were to leave everything where he puts it, pretty soon there would be no counter space left and we would have to go out to dinner every night, because there would be no space whatsoever to prepare dinner.
Mind you, I have told him over and over that this is very annoying to me, and that I wish he would get out of this habit, and put his things away, or at least somewhere else. His answer is always that he puts them there, so he can find them later. If I were to leave them where he put them, he would always know where they were. The thing is, he NEVER puts them away, if I didn't do something with them, they would sit there FOREVER til the end of time!!!
What I end up doing, because I can't stand to have people into my house, with it looking like a pigstye, and who knows when someone might drop in, is to take the stuff off the counter, and put it in a bag, and stick it somewhere out of sight. That way, I can also cook dinner without getting food on his stuff, and I even have room to prepare the meal!
Then some day in the future DH goes "Have you seen my so and so?" and I go "well, it was sitting on the counter for days, and I had to clean up, so I stuck it somewhere. I guess I'll look for it." Sometimes I find it right away, but sometimes it takes forever. A lot of times it takes forever, and then we end up having a huge fight where he says that I don't care about his belongings and that's why I'm not more careful with what I do with them. Then I go over his leaving things on the counter when he knows how I feel about that. on and on and on. Nothing ever gets resolved either!
Don't get me wrong, I love my DH to death, but this is becoming a really disfunctional messed up situation! I'm almost to the point where all I can do is laugh about it. I hate fighting about something that we both see the solution for, but can't fix.
Any advice would be appreciated. Please keep in mind that we are both ADHD, but only I am medicated. I might not be dealing with a person who can change easily. Then again, change is difficult for me too.
This is the problem. DH constantly leaves everything, including very important papers, laying all over the house. Most of the time, he walks in the house with things, and lays them on the kitchen counter. (Don't worry, honey, I can just prepare meals around the clutter!) If I were to leave everything where he puts it, pretty soon there would be no counter space left and we would have to go out to dinner every night, because there would be no space whatsoever to prepare dinner.
Mind you, I have told him over and over that this is very annoying to me, and that I wish he would get out of this habit, and put his things away, or at least somewhere else. His answer is always that he puts them there, so he can find them later. If I were to leave them where he put them, he would always know where they were. The thing is, he NEVER puts them away, if I didn't do something with them, they would sit there FOREVER til the end of time!!!
What I end up doing, because I can't stand to have people into my house, with it looking like a pigstye, and who knows when someone might drop in, is to take the stuff off the counter, and put it in a bag, and stick it somewhere out of sight. That way, I can also cook dinner without getting food on his stuff, and I even have room to prepare the meal!
Then some day in the future DH goes "Have you seen my so and so?" and I go "well, it was sitting on the counter for days, and I had to clean up, so I stuck it somewhere. I guess I'll look for it." Sometimes I find it right away, but sometimes it takes forever. A lot of times it takes forever, and then we end up having a huge fight where he says that I don't care about his belongings and that's why I'm not more careful with what I do with them. Then I go over his leaving things on the counter when he knows how I feel about that. on and on and on. Nothing ever gets resolved either!
Don't get me wrong, I love my DH to death, but this is becoming a really disfunctional messed up situation! I'm almost to the point where all I can do is laugh about it. I hate fighting about something that we both see the solution for, but can't fix.
Any advice would be appreciated. Please keep in mind that we are both ADHD, but only I am medicated. I might not be dealing with a person who can change easily. Then again, change is difficult for me too.
My hubby seem´s to think that there is no better place to put thing´s than the one that happend´s to be right on sight 
NOT in my counter 
;D
To tell you the truth, I feel a little hypocritical here, because I also have piles and I would be not just angry but lost and insecure if my husband moved them. The difference is that I keep them in the bedroom where no one coming into the house will see them. Can you compromise by finding an out-of-the-way place for him to let him pile his things? Or what about a basket to put them in so it looks neater?
