Is it cheating?

[StrugglingAgain]

Aimee, the knowledge of my husband doing the porn site thing blew our relationship up. I don't think he was chatting or anything, that I know of, but just finding out he was frequenting the site was enough. Nothing has been the same since and it's been four years. Yes, we (I) stick around for our son and the fact that we've been married over thirty years. Our son has enough to handle in his little life without that kind of stress.

[rosyred45]

Ohhhhhhhh, I feel so bad that you guys are sticking around for the kids. I hope that everything can survive.

I know that me and hubby have had our ups and downs, but to be honest with you, the best thing that we could have done was to eliminate the SEX grudge. I don't mean that to sound lightly, but we were just talking a second ago.

"Its a jealous bone and he sees aimee as looking for something that he can't give her." From my husband.

Oh I hope that doesn't sound rude, it wasn't meant to be.

HUBBY ALSO SAYS "if it is interfering with the sex life, then it is a problem." We are very open when it comes to talking about sex and this and that and the other thing.

I can see that if ti becomes a problem for either of you then yeah, it's a problem. But if it is a grudge, one way or the other has to solve it

[DANIEL]

I am a little different than most men, i dont really like talking to other women, in that kind of enviroment, it makes me uncomfortable. i alos dont like going to nudy bars either, something that is very well accepted around here( we live next to military base, and a few colleges) so my friends think i am odd. not that i care, them and their wives have crappy relationships. where me and my wife are perfect for each other. its amazeing how much better of a relationship we have than everyone else. i would talk to hubby, and find out what he needs, not enough sex not enough talking, what is it he wants, does he go to this sight because he is looking for that "new relationship" feeling, because things have gotten boring with the two of you. we men are pretty easy to understand. we only have about three driving forces, sex, food, and.....er.... sex. we do all sorts of things to accomplish these goals, like hold down jobs, bathe, listen.... stuff like that. dont get me wrong love is in there, but men,unlike women, find that love and sex are almost the same thing... i know hard to understand, think of it if you will as the diffrence between sugar free chocolate and regular chocolate. they both look the same to us , but for some reason they taste slightly diffrent, you know the "cant put my finger on it thingy". any way my wife and i dont have a problem with porn, it can give you a diffrent perspective plus it helps things from getting boring... which if you have been married for any length of time you know it does. problem with most people they are not secure enough in their relationships to be open with their spouses. you have to be so you can try diffrent things, were animals, no doubt about it, dont fight it, understand it. to deny your feelings and instincts, is going to cause you a life time of suffering in one way or another. and just to let you know, the reason i feel uncomfortable around women in those situations, is because i believe it is cheating. lets face it so does he or he wouldnt be sneaking. your married for gods sake, youve seen each other naked, whats there to be embarrased about. anyhow have a heart to heart, figure out what the problem is. this stuff starts as just something to do, but if left unchecked it can grow into a divorce.

good luck

[rosyred45]

Daniel, you forgot the sports that men love

It does make sense. Mike and I are totally secure in our relationship, and like Daniel, he isn't the nudy bar type of guy. Mike doesn't see the sense in it, bascially a waste of money.

Aimee, I hope things are going better honey
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

[Douglas]

The whole computer thing could be a heads-up that it's time to renew your original bond.