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Post by sweety on Jan 21, 2005 21:43:16 GMT -5
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mothercat
Member Emeritus
With a little luck and a lot of Gods help anything is possible!
Posts: 1,468
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Post by mothercat on Jan 21, 2005 22:52:32 GMT -5
I cant really tell you to grow up and get a life as I think you already did that. Does your dh know you are looking the person up? My rule is if you cant talk about it to the dh then you shouldnt do it. That has kept me married since 77.
My dh and I have a open line of comunication and there are many reasons people want to find past friends. My dh wanted to look up an old friend that when they parted it was rather rough. He had always worried about how she turned out and if she were even alive.
We have both lost friends to accidents and health factors. .
..I helped him look her up and I contacted her myself.
. It turned out that the man she had married was a very strict minister who thought she was very innocent (actually far from it)when they got married and she wanted NOT to have contact with my dh but we chatted and it was okay as they did find out how each others lives had turned out.
I myself like to hike an my dh doesnt (bad back) well one of my old single friends also hiked the same trails and since dh doesn't want me going alone he asked my old friend to hike with me. To this day we are good hiking partners and close friends he is also a good friend to my hubby now. He hugs my hubby more than me tho ..one of those man bonding things. I am jealous.
If you want to say hello or congratualte him on his success the best way is to include your entire family in the congratulations then no lines crossed....no you are not a stalker ..you are just a very caring peron who cares what happens to your friends old and new. I would say that if the man is that successful he deserves to hear from old friends .
Although I would keep in mind about the dh and jealousy some men are totally not understanding ... dont risk something great for just a hello hi there.
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Post by sweety on Jan 23, 2005 18:13:55 GMT -5
:)Hi mothercat! Thanks for your words of wisdom. A friend of mines husband talked me out of it. (they live in a different state and he doesn't know my husband) I'm just glad to know that the guy from my past is doing so well. We were both going through very bad semesters when we met each other and were sources of encouragement and support for each other. May be in some little way I helped him stick with it and that lead to his graduation and eventually his great job. I am proud to be just a little part of his life.  |
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Post by Linda on Jan 23, 2005 18:22:36 GMT -5
I just saw this post sweety and I am sooo happy you got talked out of it....I would have said DON'T DO IT  It might have been an innocent thing on your part...mostly curiosity I suppose...but things have a way of coming back and biting your you know what  |
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mothercat
Member Emeritus
With a little luck and a lot of Gods help anything is possible!
Posts: 1,468
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Post by mothercat on Jan 23, 2005 18:33:08 GMT -5
Usually my rule of thumb is if you cant discuss it with the hubby ....then Dont. Like I said when it came to my dh I was understanding and did the research for him that way her hubby wouldn't take it for what it wasnt.
I guess after all these years of marriage I take for granted having an understanding hubby. Also there is alot to be said for trust. I am glad you decided not to do it if your hubby didn't know him or about him.
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Post by DeeSong on Apr 2, 2005 23:01:08 GMT -5
TEXT Hello! I'm brand new here... I have done what you've done so many times.. (I mean.. try to look someone up on Google, etc..)... I don't know if there is anything I could say to talk you out of it.. I haven't always had the best experience when I've gone through with an impluse similar. I've always felt worse after I've done it...... ((sigh)).
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Post by AnneM on Apr 4, 2005 14:07:50 GMT -5
Yikes Sweety!! This reminds me of a situation I found myself in a few years ago when my boyfriend of 3 years (who I had not seen since age 22) appeared in a very HIGH place in the company I working for !! ... It was unbelievable .. and the STRANGEST thing was that he was working at a different site than I was and I had no idea ... but one night I had a very DEFINITE dream in which he featured and the next day I felt compelled to "look him up on the internal phonebook" and much to my amazement (and shivers going down my spine!) I found him!! It really was WEIRD !! ... Anyway, needless to say I couldn't resist sending an email ... and he replied and then phoned and said he would be at the office I worked at the following week and we agreed to meet up for lunch....
Well ... WHAT A LET DOWN THAT WAS !! ;D ;D ;D
WHERE was that gorgeous man I had known so many years ago ?? ... Believe you me that guy was GONE ... !! ;D ;D Oh it SERVED ME RIGHT !! ... ;D ;D
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SKay
Member Emeritus
Posts: 1,126
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Post by SKay on Apr 16, 2005 22:18:21 GMT -5
Mothercat, excellent advice!! I have my own personal experience with this and started to tell my story, but decided I should just leave it out. Just let me say that mothercat is right. |
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