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Post by kstquilter on Jan 2, 2005 20:18:19 GMT -5
hi there!
i haven't been around for a couple months or so and have missed all of you!
i hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday.
i didn't post very often but read daily. i have a dd, 19, who no longer takes meds and is still seeing her emotionally abusive bf. they didn't see each other for a couple months and thought we might have been rid of him but no such luck.
she quit taking her meds her senior year in high school and has gone down hill ever since.
i've been reading some of the posts since being back. i also saw the dr. phil show. was disappointed since it was primarily younger kids and so short that there was little time to address any one of the problems they covered, let alone all of them.
i've also been reading driven to distraction which many of you have recommended over time. i think it's a great book and many things are familiar! guess we really do all have alot in common! there isn't much info out there for young adults, still living at home who don't seek help.
we are pushing her hard to go away to school in the fall but she has to be accepted first. i hope it happens. however she is dancing again, which is a good thing, but she won't want to leave that or the bf.
well hello again to those of you who've been around awhile and welcome to those of you who are new. this is truly a great resource that i wish had been around when dd was young.
karen
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Post by Linda on Jan 2, 2005 20:25:05 GMT -5
karen....glad to have you back...don't stay away so long  I truly hope things work out for your daughter  |
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Post by Amsmom on Jan 2, 2005 22:06:55 GMT -5
karen, i'm so glad to hear from you. i have missed you. i'm glad to hear that your dd is dancing again, that is good news. oh, i wish along with you that she would dump the jerk. has she ever gone to counseling or do you think she would go? it would be great if she could hear from someone else besides those who love her how she doesnt have to take this jerk's crap. good luck and stay in touch. |
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Post by songwriter on Jan 2, 2005 22:37:33 GMT -5
Howdy, Karen! Happy new year!  |
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Post by finnmom on Jan 3, 2005 9:49:41 GMT -5
Karen welcome back, you´ve been missed. I´am also very glad to hear your dd is dancing again, mayby it´ll be the turn over for her in the time being. Happy to see you here again and Very Happy New Year to you too  |
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Post by AnneM on Jan 3, 2005 12:20:06 GMT -5
Karen it is so good to see you!! ...  I am going to keep EVERYTHING crossed that your daughter gets accepted to school and that it is a success for her ..... in the meantime though the fact she is dancing again just has to be positive! ... Hope to see you more around here ... we have missed you too!! |
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Post by rosyred45 on Jan 3, 2005 12:21:31 GMT -5
Glad to see you back Karen, hope your New Year gets better from here. Hopefully your dd will see the bf for the pain he is, but remember don't push too hard, she'll think the world is against her |
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Post by kstquilter on Jan 3, 2005 22:51:07 GMT -5
thanks to all!
it's nice to know i've been missed!
yes, dd dancing is a wonderful thing for her self confidence and self esteem. the grades for fall quarter were a little better so now if she can keep the momentum going, i'll feel a little better.
thanks for crossing everything when it comes to bf. i need all the help i can get!
i'm trying hard not to push but awfully hard to watch her allow him to control and hurt her the way he does.
thanks again for the nice welcome!
karen
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Post by camismom on Jan 4, 2005 0:14:35 GMT -5
Karen... good to hear from you. you have been missed. Please do join us in what you read sometimes... if nothing else... we make good stress relief! hehe As far as your dd's dancing.... encourage her more in in and do less of the bf discouraging. As she becomes stronger and better in the dancing it will make her feel she is good at SOMETHING, build up her self-confidence and maybe (hopefully) give her the knowledge that she IS better than that and lead to the courage to dump the jerk. Did all that running sentence of mine make sense? Anyway, to you. Keep in touch!
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Post by TexasMom on Jan 9, 2005 23:56:04 GMT -5
Camismom has got it down pat! As soon as you put the bf down, she'll start justifying going out with him. Best to leave it alone. Also, are you seeing anyone for counseling? Just to help you cope with with the situation? It might be a big help to save your sanity  |
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Post by kstquilter on Jan 10, 2005 21:50:26 GMT -5
well we've been trying to seek family counseling but dd can't get her work schedule ahead of time enough for her to attend. convenient and stubborn is the problem.
ds sees the same counselor for depression and he seems to be better.
i really do try not to say much and have gotten better at it but she already knows how much i hate him during the times i couldn't keep my mouth shut!
dd has seen counselors over the years but the last one she went to, she wouldn't follow any of her suggestions so we stopped going.
now we're trying to get her to go be officially tested and diagnosed for add as an adult. she was diagnosed by a pediatrician in 2nd grade and that's all we've ever needed to do for school until her senior year when she quit taking meds and trying to help herself.
but if she transfers to a four year school and wants help, the require more proof than a letter from our dr! i did tell her that simply going won't be enough if she isn't willing to help herself. but so far, now luck getting her to follow thru.
once they are 18, your right to information pretty much disappears so then you have to rely on them to take care of themselves and it's hard to let all that go.
sorry, i really am rambling tonight!
dd's jerkboy has been gone a week and comes home tomorrow and i can already feel my stress level going up!
thanks for listening everyone.
karen
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Post by TexasMom on Jan 11, 2005 0:01:24 GMT -5
Karen, try to get some counseling for yourself, even if no one else goes, it will help, trust me. It will help you cope with the stress, if nothing else.
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Post by rosyred45 on Jan 11, 2005 10:41:58 GMT -5
Believe me, I had a jerkboy for a few years........looking back now, I still don't know why I stayed....maybe it was the excitement ???nope, but when my mom bugged me about it, I stuck with him, even though everything mom said made sense and was the truth, I couldn't admit she was right and I was wrong...... |
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Post by camismom on Jan 11, 2005 11:25:07 GMT -5
One of my best friends in high school was hated by my mom. Looking back I have to admit she was a little "out there" at times... she was VERY into the punk rock stuf..... anyway, off track... the fact that my mom hated her just made me want to remain friends with her all the more. Now that Cami has her friend A that I have my reservations about from time to time, I know what my mom was going thru.
Defiance. Wonder where are kids get it from?
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Post by rosyred45 on Jan 11, 2005 11:39:26 GMT -5
Their Fathers ;D ;D ;D
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