disappointed in family

[Honeysmom]

This has been bugging me since the weekend and I just need to get it out.

For Easter weekend DH and I took the kids to stay with our parents. Friday night and Saturday during the day we spent with his family. I am the first to admit they are a little weird, but when push comes to shove they are family and you know it. They have taught my kids a few things I wish they wouldn't have, but nothing too bad.

Then on Sautrday night we went to stay with my family. DD fell asleep on they way and was out for the night by the time we got there, Honey took at cat-nap and ended staying up until about 1AM, which I expected. He really was a good boy and I was proud of him. Until Saturday I never worried about my family's influence on him.

I though that I was raised to be open-minded, loving, accepting, and not to be racial. Well, aparently I was wrong. My family has changed a lot since I was a kid. My dad used to work in the trades. Then when I was about 16 he was laid off and so he went back to college. He earned a degree in accounting and has done very well for himself. My mom has also. Their lifestyle is completely different than it was when I was growing up. They struggled when I was a kid, and being happy and healthy was their main goal.

Now they have turned into people that I really don't like. Or maybe I am seeing it for the first time, I am not sure which. I was appalled at the racist comments flying out of every one's mouths, I was acutally embaressed to be there. Not to mention they have turned into the Obsorns as far as their vocabulary goes. I am really dissapointed in them. I'm not like that, except the occasional naughty word.

Then to make it worse, the next morning we are all sitting in church being the most respectable family ever to walk the face of the Earth. I just kept thinking they were a bunch of hipocrites.

Has anyone else every seen their family in a way like this? Or I wonder have they always been like this but I've never seen it before? It makes me wonder if DH's family is all that bad and maybe if mine is worse.

I just needed to get this out. It makes me sad to think that if we wern't related I wouldn't want to be friends with them. I don't want my kids to pick up on any on that! Guess I just needed to vent.....Becky

[rosyred45]

Oh my GOD you stole my family.....Give em back before Christmas, they give good presents. ;D

I always knew how my dad was. He was just dad. He's always cussed around us,( just not until recently did he say the "F" word in my earshot). I knew he said it before, but hearing it come out of his mouth is like when a preacher says Hell. Still weird.

Mom on the other hand is a different story. I love her to death adn respect her, but man is she a b****. My sister is just like her. Not Mean, just snotty, thinks they can do no wrong on the outside, but then you see her other times and she's the nicest person.

I don't know what to really tell you except that you are NOT the only one.
My husbands family is just wierd ;D Makes me look normal ;D ;D ;D
Kaiti

[lllex]

Do they listen to Rush Limbaugh? A friend of my DH is the most small minded racial person I know . I can't stand to have him in my house or around my children - he says nasty things about anyone that's not a white christian without tatoos or piercings or leather jackets or..... I'm told that he used to be open minded and liberal (sometime before I ever met him). When I ask what happened to him they say he started listening to Rush - aparently Rush has the ability to brain wash people . In any case, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

Laura

[Honeysmom]

Laura, I'm going to have to check into the Rush Limbaugh thing.

My dad actually told me the other day that he got mad at some guy on the way to work and drove the whole way to work giving him the finger! It is only like 5 miles, but to go to that extent to drive right nex to him giving him the finger?? That is just not right.

Then in the next sentence he said to me "I'll never go into a bar if I know that they've ever had a fight there."

Ah DUH? Don't ya think the guy receiving the finger wanted to punch you right in the kisser?

Maybe they all have lead pain in their homes or something, I don't know.

Becky

[aaa-alison]

Totally understand. I love my mom, but she has turned into something else. She always walked over people-but I thought she did so innocently. Now I know she does it cause she gets off on it. I liked her better when I was in denial. Now I deny, her treating me like nuts and I'm the bad guy. Oh well, life goes on. We can only love and give so much-If they don't give it back we gotta suck it up and go on. But it hurts like hell, cause I love her so much. I just love too much what I wanted her to be cause I don't care for who she likes to bel

[camismom]

Becky,

I can totally relate to this. Though they are my family and I love them, I can't stand to be around them! They all drive me nuts. There's my mom with all her health problems. I know it is bad, but all she does is whine about them. Then my extremely obese, lazy, and filthy sister! You should see the condition she keeps her house in and my poor twin nieces she is raising! They are 2 1/2 and already have rotten teeth in the front of their mouth from all the junk they eat and drink. My 47 yr old aunt who sleeps with any man that pays her attention and live with my grandparents. Oh, let me hush. I could write a novel on the weirdness of each one! Heck, I'm already dreading mother's day because I know I'll have to spend the day with them!

It's hard, but you just have to make the best of it when you HAVE to be with them, and the rest of the time, be unavailable! hehe

[Douglas]

For reasons passing understanding, the casual interaction between siblings in childhood often persists into adulthood. This contradicts a principle put forth (I think by Hume Cronyn, in reference to his marriage to Jessica Tandy) that as years accumulate in a family relationship, the level of courtesy should increase, not decrease ...

Then there's Willard Scott's definition: "Love is another word for respect" ...

[BBW4EVR1]

.....then there is one of my older brother's favorite sayings: "you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family." Never knew how right he was 'til I got older!