As an adult.....

[Honeysmom]

I know why you feel guilty saying that...Because you are a mother! I don't know if it is instinct or something like that, but all of my friends, myself included, feel guilt about the silliest things. I don't know why it is we just do.

You are absolutly right to need some away time. If you feel like you need to justify that, I'll give you a reason. You are doing your family a favor. When you return to them a refreshed, clear thinking, and happy person you will be able to help them and enjoy it more.

We are going sledding on Sunday and the kids are really excited, we gave then practice runs on the snow piled up next to the driveway last night. I am scared!!

[rosyred45]

Have fun sledding, me and hubby went down racing, he won, but he was also closer to the pond ;D

I think for me this is my time to gather every thing. For some funny reason I miss work, not the paper work, just the kids. Maybe because we are working ont he 3rd straight snowday.

Today we went out to the club and while hubby was getting his mural done, I had our kids and our friends kids. We made homemade playdough. They had a blast, the other kids didn't realize you could make it from scratch. Poor kids, well, not really, they just aren't used to homemade this that and the other thing. And actually their dad was using a bobcat to clear the parking lot and level stuff out, he didn't know what they were doing and asked if they were all in time out.

Nope, just occupied. ;D They are going to paint their creations the next time we see them if they are dry.

I guess that's it for now. Time to finish the dishes. I'm doing pretty good with the chore/computer/chore/relax time/thing. Thanks honey

Kaiti

[1mom]

"You are absolutly right to need some away time. If you feel like you need to justify that, I'll give you a reason. You are doing your family a favor. When you return to them a refreshed, clear thinking, and happy person you will be able to help them and enjoy it more."

couldn't have said it better!
prayers,
1mom

ME time is good for me AND them!

[rosyred45]

Thanks, I think I really could use some me time. and daddy could use some kids time. Well, after we fix the truck, broke down last night

Figures, payday, gotta run errands, supposed to run to Delaware......if it's not one thing it's another.

I guess it can't be boring around here for long.

Kaiti

[sweety]

:)My daughters neurologist kept bugging me to get tested. My family kept saying "Why bother, of course your ADHD". Since half of my family could have a positive diagnosis and the other half puts up with it, everyone knew I was "high strung"(what my family calls it.) I wanted to see if any of the meds would help me and see if the Dr. had any coaching tips etc. The concerta does help me focus and gives me the energy to do things like I did when I was 25. The Dr.'s written eval was very insightful. Everyone at work knows I'm ADHD and knows not to give me coffee or chocolate.
I just wish they knew about all of this 40 years ago when I was labled "lacks self control" and "talks too much" . My mother was "hard to handle" and my grandfather was slapped with a ruler. My ADHD has helped in my Nursing career though. Once I managed to graduate college and get my RN liscense, I had the most checked on patients in the hospital.

[rosyred45]

Not that chocolate helps. but coffee definately helps keep me straight. I've heard a few older folks swear by caffeine.

I guess I'm just an old farm girl at heart
Kaiti

[aaa-alison]

Coffee is a funny thing. When I was beginning my diagnosis trip-I read Driven to Distraction and read how coffee would help. So I drank it and it didn't help. I think coffee is really good for certain degrees of ADD but for others it is just another drink. The only thing that really helped me to focus before treatment was exercise and marijuana. I could actually write when I smoked it like a huge iron clad door was being raised and my brain could explode on paper. Wow it felt great but gave made me even more nervous-or maybe I was really nervous before and I just didn't let it in. Theitslowed me while alchohal released me. I found that I got to a point where I needed a drink when I was out and that that wasn't really okay. Now that I am on medication life is dandy and i can do things. But I am very afraid of success and I am not really sure of who I am anymore. Taking medication for ADHD is an incredibly positive thing but it was scary for me at first and it does open up so many doors that you may feel like you want to do everything that you wanted to do before. But that the before stuff may not matter anymore. Try to be in the here and now during medication time after you mourn for who you were. Do the things that you have to do and do the things that make you happy. And understand that some of the things that made you happy before-didn't really make you happy-they may have just been huge challenges that when you met them you felt powerful. After medication you don't need that anymore-you will be able to do stuff- so try to do the stuff that makes you feel good no matter what step you are on of doing it. It's not about loving the result, it's about loving the process and thereby giving love to yourself by doing what you love.

Best of luck and take it easy,



ALison







;D

[rosyred45]

Hey Alison,
After reading thatithelped you write, I had to laugh, my husband, who was aithead when I married him, doesn't smoke anymore because of random testing. He does a bit of drinking, but I have finally realized throught the help my friends that self medication doesn't work if it's controlling what you do or don't do. SO I jumped on the wagon for a bit to find myself.

I don't like not being in control, in my mind anyway. But when it comes to anything, if you listen to your body, it'll talk, but you have to listen to it. I don't like following norms. And I won't bow because someone says so. I don't have to fit the "mold" and neither do my kids. They will be good at what God blessed them with. I will bring out the best in them and in the kids I work with. For me, that works. If some one thinks it's unorthadox to approach life like that, well, to be totally honest with you, they can kiss my butt and walk in my shoes.

That doesn't sound very nice, but it's the truth. My kids are not bad, they have manners, they are loving and helpful, and all around great kids. I feel blessed everyday that I wake up and realize that I have brought somebodies into this world that have touched the world in a positive way shape or form.

Yes, I might be wishy washy, BUT such is the spice of life. If everything was plain, it'd be awful boring ;D
Kaiti

[aaa-alison]

Dear RosyRed,

I hope that I didn't offend you in some way with the stuff I said. You sound like a great mom. I know what you mean by not feeling in control- I've felt like that all my life. You are not wishy washy-everything you have said is strong, positive, and great. And in my opinion anyone who is in this support room is great. So many people want to turn away from problems and ignore them. Everyone here wants to turn towards them and get better. So in my book everyone who has posted a response or even just come here to read posts is a hero. A hero for accepting themselves and wanting to have a better life and a hero for helping others to accept themselves.

[sweety]

My daughter's neurologist said to me, "Have you ever thought about getting tested?" I work for a med school and had the psych dept test me. Their conclusion was "Well you probably are but you've adjusted, so what." I told the neurologist this and she had a polite fit. Since the insurance would pay for it, I had the neurologist test me and she was right on the money. I am now on strattera and wish I had this drug when I was in school. My family is rather non plussed because half of my family is ADHD and the other half puts up with it. I didn't want my daughter going through what I did when I was in school. Why not make life better if you can?

[rosyred45]

Don't worry Alison, it takes ALOT to offend me. I might not agree with everyone all the time, but I respect people for what they think or feel.

I actually like watching good debates and discussions, as long as people repect each other's ideas. Some one might try to sway here or there, but I saw where you wrote something about being a happy comic, then a person putting down others, and I think there's a line that people follow. Most people go to the positive, which is where I try to be.

It doesn't always work, but I try
Kaiti
and sweety, I don't know what my family would think if I got a formal DX. Then they'd have to show up on time for family functions, instead of the usual "set the time an hour before so everyone drifts in by four" hehehe

[aaa-alison]

Well listen-anyone who is here an who is going through the diagnosis process-I totally support you. I went through it recently and I know how mindboggling it all is. Hang in there.

[rosyred45]

Thanks Alison, I really appreciate it

Kaiti