As an adult.....

[rosyred45]

Alright, I've been through the crap with the kids, my question is basic. How did you go about getting dx'ed? Was it embarrassing admitting you can't function? I want so much to go to the doctor and tell him I think something is up, but there is a piece of me telling me to suck it up and grow up.

I can't think straight, everything is a mess(unless I do the hurry clean, but since flylady I don't have as much to ORGANIZE!!!!!) I might be in director/co-chair/in-charge of stuff around the area, but honestly, I fly by the seat of my pants sometimes. When I do organize, I am the queen of anal. If it is put away in my house, it HAS to be PUT BACK RIGHT.

Sometimes I just sit here and cry because there is so much I need to get done, but I just don't do it. On another thread, we were talking about music therapy. That does help, so when there is music on in the room, I get things done, but then there is the electric bill I see at the end of the month.

Oh, poop. A little confused, I hope ya'll can help
Kaiti

[1mom]

interesting point rred. my dh knows somewhere in his head (i think!) that he should/could/would fit the adhd dx and has said that he's just like our son, many times. but as far as taking steps to get dx, not even a baby step. i wonder if it's the embarrassment factor or male pride, or just the 'so what' attitude, or if he's just satisfied to let things ride like they've always been. no clue. instead of sadness or tears, he reacts to his adhd/adhd-related situations with anger---whether outward or internally depends on what is going on. many times this erupts in passive-aggressive scenes.
whatever....dx or not, you're still YOU--a great mom and person! (((HUGS)))) make sure you treat yourself to some time away and bit of fun. you DO deserve it---even if there's dishes in the sink! we can only do what we can do, even though we want to do it all!
and prayers,
1mom

[Linda]

Kaiti,If it is something you really want to do..then do it!

I have to say though I think you are pretty "rounded" (no pun intended). I thoroughly enjoy your posts and I know you are a great mom and person,so don't be to hard on yourself. You have a job you obviously love and I know you are good at it....so like I said..if you really want to go to the Dr. then go!!!!

[lionlady]

Ask yourself this: If I were having trouble breathing or seeing clearly, would I go to the doctor?

If I am having trouble staying on task, focusing my energies, and seeing a doctor could help, why NOT have this investigated?

One PROBLEM, that I found myself dealing with, is with the diagnosis, I no longer have an EXCUSE to be disorganized. I have the tools to 'fix' what is wrong with me. THAT was very scary...

I had failed so often in my life, the concept of being able to succeed was terrifying. I still struggle. I still have a hard time envisioning myself succeeding.

You have already tried and made progress with flylady, a point for you. Go ahead, you will probably be amazed at what a diagnosis reveals and changes in you.

[ohmama]

Kaiti,
Did you take the brain system test on the Amen site? www.brainplace.com take the test and print out the results. Then take this with you as a guide on how to talk to your doctor and explain how you feel. This will help him and you to decide if you could benefit from medication. There are also natural alternative suggestions you could try to get you started.

If you know you need help and are too embarrassed to ask think of yourself as a child, we all have a child within us. You need to take care of this inner-child and get her the help she needs. Just like you would for your offspring. This is just as important or maybe even more so. Realize it will make you a better parent to take care of yourself. It will help you to be the best you can be for yourself and others who depend on you. Don't let anything stop you. You are worth it.

[1mom]

thanks, lionlady, for the personally eye-opening post. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........
1mom

[rosyred45]

Thank you guys for the vote of confidence, it's nice to hear. I seem to go in spurts. Sometimes I get stuff done, and feel on top of the world, other times, I feel useless. I think it's more of a cabin fever thing making me get to know my self a little more, but I don't like to put a damper on things, so I twist them to my advantage.
Just like the kids, I like to see possitives of things. No, my house isn't a mess, it's a pile of everything I have so I know where to find it. Actually, that's the dining room table. The rest of the house isn't too bad.

Am I in the right house? ;D
OK, been a busy weekend, back to laundry. Thank you again. ((((HUGS)))))

[Honeysmom]

I know what you mean about not wanting to ask the doctor. They way I did it was to make myself an appointment for some stress counseling. When I got there one of the papers I had to fill out was an ADHD adult questioneer. (I already knew I would fail b/c I took the test OhMamma suggested)

Then she put me on Welbutrin XL. It didn't help and really caused me some problems. I had an appt last Thursday and finally talked her into putting me on Adderall. It is really working well for me and once I got passed her just thinking I was depressed it was not embaressing at all. I have read that many people (adults) discover they have ADHD after they get their kids dx'd.

I agree with Loinlady about now being fully aware that the excuse is gone. I have had to do some serious "behavior modification" on myself. Just little things like I actually have a schedule in the kitchen and if I stay on schedule I get a reward (computer time) if I get off the schdeule due to me just wasting time then I have to "ground myself" from it. If they kids throw off the schedule I chalk that up to acts of God!

It is definatly worth seeing the doctor. Good luck!! Becky

[amethist]

here is a question for this section as a mother of a 18yr. old how would they go thru in diagnosing them?
my 18yr. old shows signs of it but Iam woundering if I could by pass all the paper work.

shelly

[mctavish23]

Hi,

I was diagnosed with a neuropsych eval that took about 4hrs.That battery(Halstead-Satz-Reitan) is rarely There are several things to keep in mind when it comes to diagnosing an adult.The most important thing to remember is that the DSM-IV symptoms were normed on a sample population in which the oldest person was age16.Therefore, you dont need the 6 out of 9 symptom criteria across the lifespan.This means that the symptoms need to be age adjusted for adults. For example:
1)ages 17-30 require only 5 symptoms from either/or category of Inattention or Hyperactivity-Impulsivityused now, as there have been great strides made since 1972-73.

2)ages 30-50 require 4 symptoms
3)over 50 require 3
Having said all that, the professional doing the evaluation needs lots of corroborating evidence from the adults parents(if possible), bosses, co-workers and grades/transcripts are very important too.
Interestingly enough, the adult being evaluated is often found to under report their symptoms due to having become so used to them and/or thru compensation.
This info is from Russell Barkley,PhD author of Taking Charge of ADHD. Hes my personal favorite researcher/author.
I hope this helps some. Thanks and take care.

mctavish23(Robert)

[LitlBaa]

Hubby went to a psychologist who specialized in ADD. Then he contacted the Disabled Students office at the college he attends for another group of tests. Finally, he dumped one lousy MD and got to a good one to get the meds. Strattera didn't work for him, now he's on Ritalin.

A point to remember...I attended a seminar given by Dr. Russell Barkley several years ago (and you're right, Robert, he's very interesting!) and he said that part of the difficulty in dxing adults is because they demonstrate the hyperactivity differently. They'll wiggle around or take lots of trips to the bathroom or break room, but won't be running around the room the way a four year old would.

Rosyred, it was very difficult for my hubby to admit there was a problem. It took him nearly four years from the time we were married and I dragged him to seminars to learn more about my daughter until he went in for his own dx. If you feel you need some help, you probably do. Good luck on finding the right doctors to help.

[rosyred45]

Well, I took the test, except I closed it out

It said highly probable for inattentive, and I'm going to go back with my husband since he recommended someone else to it for you too. It did make me think about if I was putting down what was what or if I was putting down what I wanted to be.

Thanks, gotta get some coffee, school canceled again for snow. At least I can clean my house, as long as I finish what I start, I'll be OKY DOKY ;D

Note to self, GET OFF COMPUTER FOR A WHILE< PUT OUT THE HOT SPOT DINING ROOM TABLE.
I like the idea of a schedule, Honeysmom. I think I'll have to try that.
Kaiti

[rosyred45]

OK, just did the test with hubby's help, now it says combined type. I don't know. oh well.

Back to the grind. No work, just cleaning, and cleaning, and ................

Kaiti

[Honeysmom]

Rosyred, I think it would be a great idea to have your DH do it with you. Sometimes the way we see things is not at all the way others see them. We also tend to be harder on ourselves than we are on others.

If you are haveing a hard time getting motivated and staying on task it may be ADHD, but it may also be something else. In either case seeing a counselor would probably help. Don't be embaressed or feel like you are weak for this problem. When I saw the doc I decided that she probably saw more people that were way more nuts than me so I was probably boring for her.

Good Luck...Becky

[rosyred45]

Well, I haven't come to any more conclusions. We ended up taking the kids sledding today with some friends of ours. I didn't really think about a lot, just making sure the kids were ok and all. BUT

It gave me a chance to clear my head. I'm pretty much unorganized and impulsive. I NEED to get some clutter out of the way. I have gotten to declutter my house, now I think it's time to declutter my mind. I haven't felt too stressed out, at the time, but looking back at things that happened, how they happened, why, all that good stuff, I carry too much emotional baggage around with me that I don't need to.

I realize that I can't control everything and that things are going to happen whether I like them or not. I need to stop sweating the small stuff in certain aspects, and there again sweat some other things that I have let go to the wayside. I've put my family fun on the burner for the past couple of years trying to teach my kids about community service and helping others and what I really need to do is get a little me time.

Why do I feel guilty saying that? Oh well, We'll have to think about that at another time. I'm in the mood to enjoy the here and now.

Kaiti