Finally a good dx!

[Honeysmom]

I finally had my chance to see my doc again today. I told her about the problems I was having with Welbutrin (hearing the radio in my head, not sleeping, being in "high gear" among others.) She told me that those are all signs of maina and will not perscribe me a regualr anti-depressant again. She gave me the name of something else that can be used in the future if I need an anti-depressant.

Then I came clean with her and told her that since Honey was taken off his meds 2 days after I filled them I tried the regular Adderall for myself. I know I probably shouldn't have, but I wanted to see if it worked and it was working. She said that if was working she would perscribe it for me. I was afraid she was going to have me arrested since I was taking it w/o a perscription of my own. She kind of laughed at me and said she would contact authorities if I gave it to someone else or told her I was selling it. (Thank God!)

She asked about my depression and I told her, like may of you have said, depressants just made me not care that I was non-functional. Adderall made me be functional, therefore I had nothing to be depressed about. Now I have my own perscription.

The only thing she did was double the dose. She said that was b/c very often she finds that people tend to double it anyway because after the initial adjustment they realize a higher dose would be more helpful, so stay with what I was taking and increase if I felt the need, otherwise stay where I am. For now I will keep it where it is. I could see a need for an increase when I restart my classes in September, hopefully, but that is a long ways away.

She did say that thinks there may be more underlying disorders, but since the Adderall is working well and I am not manic or depressed keep well enough alone. I am to call her if I feel either of these. That will be hard to do since mania is a good feeling, but I don't anticipate it. She said that if I have additional mood changes she would like to explore the possibility of Bi-polar disorder. Oddly enough, that does not bother me.

I often wonder how many of our lives would be changed if we were dx'd with this as kids. Would I have made the same choices or would I be someone or something entirly different? That prospect always facinates me. Our kids are very lucky they were born in a time when mental afflictions are no longer (for the most part) seen as a life long sentence.

I am happy it is a very good day!! ;D

[ohmama]

It sounds like you have ADD/ADHD since the stimulant is working for you. Congratulations! If it is bipolar the stimulant will throw you into a manic state and you would find out VERY soon.

A good dx is half the battle. I'm glad to hear something is working for you. Keep us posted.

[skylarkragtop]

HM,

I'm glad for you. Isnt it amazing what a little medication can do? It's not everything, but it's enough to help you see that there is something amiss without them.

I liken it to finally being handed the remote, so if anyone is going to change channels, it's you. Or something like that.

I too often wonder what life would have been like for me had I been dx'd as a child. But for that to happen, both my parents would have had to have been dx'd as children too. Let's put it this way: they still dont think there's anything wrong with me, or themselves. Oh, but they KNOW there's something wrong with their ADHD nephew/my cousin. Lest they forget that he's got it because my uncle's got it, because my grandfather had it, and thats why my mom is the way she is. I wont even go into my dad's side. But anyway, had I been dx'd as a child, I might have had such a different social life, academic life, employment life... and so on. But, all things considered, my life to date - as full of hurdles as it might have been - has created a person with a resilliance unlike that of any "normal" person I've ever met. We ADDers have a certain something that others dont, besides the disorder. We're tough cookies. We may not like our own behavior, and we may not be able to manage it as well as we and others may like, but we know ourselves. When something clicks, it clicks. A dx, an Rx, a feeling, an intuition. We're tuned differently.

And now back to where I was going.. life would have been different with a knowledge of ADD, but I wonder if it would have been better. Maybe, but it's history now. And despite ADD I'm still in a pretty good place. And it's going to keep getting better.

I hope it does for all of us.

SR

[Honeysmom]

SR,

I am glad you have such a positive outlook. I used to really get into what if's, but now I just wonder out of curiosity. I am a firm beleiver that everything happens for a reason and sometimes things are silent blessings.

My family does not even know that I was seeing a doctor. When we were kids the teachers urged my parents to get us tested and my dad's exact words were My kids are not retarded, they are lazy."

The word lazy has plagued me for life. Parents sometimes forget what effect they have on a kids self-esteem. As a kid I always thought, if even my own parents think bad of me I must be awful. That is a problem they can deal with. I now know I was neither awful or lazy. In fact, a few days ago DH and I were talking about if we have changed since we were married. He said I did, but in a good way. He said I am finally gaining some self-esteem. That makes me happy.

If I was not dx'd I probably would've went to college right after HS. Then I would not have met my DH or had my kids so like I said, silent blessings. ;D

[1mom]

"We ADDers have a certain something that others dont, besides the disorder. We're tough cookies. We may not like our own behavior, and we may not be able to manage it as well as we and others may like, but we know ourselves. When something clicks, it clicks. A dx, an Rx, a feeling, an intuition. We're tuned differently.
And now back to where I was going.. life would have been different with a knowledge of ADD, but I wonder if it would have been better. Maybe, but it's history now. And despite ADD I'm still in a pretty good place. And it's going to keep getting better."

SR,
you don't know how great, and i mean REALLY great, it is for us parents to read such positive and inspiring words. thank you for that!

and
amen, honeysmom. those silent blessings are the most powerful ones, aren't they? you're doing a great job and finding out all your options for what's best for YOU.
prayers,
1mom