Post by Douglas on Dec 28, 2003 8:43:44 GMT -5
It was, in many ways, a terrible holiday. The side effects of meds are rough ... I have acute SAD on top of ADD, so the lack of sunlight knocks me out ... I am months behind in my work and finances, and Christmas was lean ...
So on top of all of this, a family member who has observed my ADD-driven behaviors for many years (and thought it was all character flaw, until I was diagnosed) decided to give me holy hell. My inadequacy and weakness were highlighted and underscored, and my illness was mocked (I know now not to speak of it at all to this person).
And it got still worse. Since I have tried to be open about this (two of my older children are already showing symptoms) for the sake of helping my younger children from the outset, I have spoken of my ADD in connection with work, my sleep cycles, and scheduling my life around the timing of my new meds. This arrogant family member lashed out and accused me of using my ADD as an "excuse" for all my bad points. I was aghast, and said I'm not interested in "excusing" anything: I take full responsibility for being behind in my work, for my financial errors, all of it. On the contrary, my aggressive attitude about dealing with my condition is an anti-excuse; it is responsibility. I even desire to write a book on this topic. I told this person I would sacrifice a limb if I could make this horrible illness go away. It is like weeds growing in the brain.
And then, a final insult, the topper: this family member said that if I would capitulate in certain long-standing family quarrels over topics of weighty importance, then this individual would be supportive of me in my fight against my illness. That is, they would be compassionate and available as a resource IF i would yield. I was dumbstruck. "If I was diabetic," I asked, "would you withhold insulin from me until I agreed to your terms?" They laughed in my face, mocking the comparison of ADD to diabetes.
Does anyone else deal with such confrontation? Please share your story, if so!
So on top of all of this, a family member who has observed my ADD-driven behaviors for many years (and thought it was all character flaw, until I was diagnosed) decided to give me holy hell. My inadequacy and weakness were highlighted and underscored, and my illness was mocked (I know now not to speak of it at all to this person).
And it got still worse. Since I have tried to be open about this (two of my older children are already showing symptoms) for the sake of helping my younger children from the outset, I have spoken of my ADD in connection with work, my sleep cycles, and scheduling my life around the timing of my new meds. This arrogant family member lashed out and accused me of using my ADD as an "excuse" for all my bad points. I was aghast, and said I'm not interested in "excusing" anything: I take full responsibility for being behind in my work, for my financial errors, all of it. On the contrary, my aggressive attitude about dealing with my condition is an anti-excuse; it is responsibility. I even desire to write a book on this topic. I told this person I would sacrifice a limb if I could make this horrible illness go away. It is like weeds growing in the brain.
And then, a final insult, the topper: this family member said that if I would capitulate in certain long-standing family quarrels over topics of weighty importance, then this individual would be supportive of me in my fight against my illness. That is, they would be compassionate and available as a resource IF i would yield. I was dumbstruck. "If I was diabetic," I asked, "would you withhold insulin from me until I agreed to your terms?" They laughed in my face, mocking the comparison of ADD to diabetes.
Does anyone else deal with such confrontation? Please share your story, if so!
It is a misfortune in this life that we can get rid of bad friends but have to be stuck forever with bad family members! I agree with Linda, you should distance yourself from this cruel person. Sue
