What do you tell...

[JohnBark]

We've decided to give the Feingold diet a go. What do you tell the parents of kids that invite my son over for play dates, birthday parties, etc. that he can't eat certain things? I know this sounds silly, but I don't want my son to feel out of place or embarrass him at such events. Especially when we aren't there to supervise.

[RiahBubbaPooh]

I tell the parents that he has food allergies, and do not elaborate. They will tend to comply if they think a child might DIE on their watch!

Seriously, I call them ahead of time, and tell them that the kids have food allergies, if they could let me know what they are serving, I will send along safe versions of the same thing for my kids. So far, everyone has been very cooperative, and we've been doing this for 6 years.

I keep cupcakes in the freezer and send ice cream. We make white pizza,and no one can tell once they all start eating. I will say that most of the time, they'll ask me what kind of ice cream they can have, and they'll buy that brand.

If I know a family well, I'll even offer to make the cake for them, so my kids can have the same as everyone else.

I work hard at not making them stand out from the crowd, but sometimes it cannot be helped, and then we are just matter of fact about it. "Sorry, guys, but my kids would get really sick if they ate that, and then no one would be having fun, would they?"

We also have a trade in policy. If they get candy in their gift bags, or win candy as a prize, they hang onto it. When they get home, they can trade it for safe candy. Sometimes, they prefer to trade it for money (say a quarter per piece.) Good motivation there!!

You'll come up with lots of tricks along the way. Just make sure you always have a back up. Keep stuff in the freezer, and non-perishables in the trunk of the car for spur of the moment invitations.

HTH!

[RiahBubbaPooh]

Oh, forgot to say...now that we've been doing this a while, most of the kids are begging my kids for THEIR snacks, because they've figured out that real food tastes real good! They know our stuff always is better than what they are having!!

THAT makes my kids stand out in a good way. Especially when our kids get a request like, "Could your mom make the cookies for class this month, please???"

[JohnBark]

Thank you for the great ideas!!!!!

[1Madison]

HEY....You made it!
I see you were able to get your register name straighten out! It took me awhile too
I've not gone as far as the Feingold diet. I just don't want to try for something like that. I do bake cookies and such for class parties but I really don't worry about what she eats or doesn't eat when it's another kids party. I've been to TOO MANY class parties and birthday parties to KNOW that my kid isn't acting anymore HYPER than the other kids there and they are ALL eatting sweets, etc. A person thinks there kid is the only one acting up at times but it's just not true! Sorry I couldn't help much on your decision...just giving you my view.

TAKE CARE...AND GOOD LUCK...MADISON

[Sorka]

I also wouldn't worry about the occasional slip up.. but you could provide your own alternative snack..

I have just had to start our younger son on a gluten free diet.. this is for medical reasons and could turn out to be a serious issue.. gluten could be causing damage to his intesines.. (not that behaviour isn't serious.)

My kids have gotten used to asking me if things are alright as we have been on the feingold diet for a while. i explain to them why we are avoiding certain foods and they have responded pretty well to that.
Eventuallly if the diet works kids will self regulate for a while.. with a few fits of rebellion here and there.

[catatonic]

The occasional slip up can mean an entire 24 hours of hell for our entire family, so I worry about everything my son eats regardless of where he is. Close friends are aware of his dietary needs and that his food sensitivities turn him into a crazy man. They'll either call to ask what he can eat or I send him with a bag of home-made cookies or a box of Wheat Thins.

For those we know less well, I simply let them know that he has food allergies and to please not offer him any snacks other than fresh fruit and water. Nobody really considers this a big deal. I also let my son know that he needs to politely refuse any food offered that he isn't certain is safe for him to eat. He's not perfect about this, but he tries.

If he'll be eating dinner, I call and let them know he has food allergies and ask if they'd like me to send something safe for him to eat. Sometimes I do, and sometimes we chat about the "menu" and figure out a solution.


Birthday parties and such are the worst. Usually I resort to simple bribery. Any candy he brings home, I exchange for money. If he doesn't eat the birthday cake, I pay him more. No soda, more money. Probably bad parenting, but it works and I'd rather bribe my son than deal with his horrible food reactions.

I also keep plenty of Alka Seltzer Gold around for those inevitable errors.

[RiahBubbaPooh]

Yes, a 'slip-up' here means at least 4 days of total chaos! We cannot afford a slip up at all (except for my oldest, who is not my target.) And for my ds, it also means at least one day of withdrawal, consisting of severe stomache cramps, migraines, and even vomitting.

I don't consider it bad parenting at all, catatonic! We are training our kids to make wise choices. When they are older, they will have to learn to 'reward' themselves. Either 'I'm not going to eat that and ruin my week.' Or, 'I've got ice cream at home that won't make me sick, I'll just have some later.'

My dh is constantly being bombarded at work with birthday parties, and meetings with buffet tables. He doesn't mess with it at all.

I just consider it self-control training!