felling guilty about giving meds

[Brocksmom]

lately i've been feeling more guilty about giving brock his meds. when we first started i felt guilty too but realized it was what we needed to do.. i think now it's cuz he's older and understands the whole adhd thing. when he was younger he just took them, but i don't think really understood why. now i feel like why can't he be "normal". he knows he need them to help him control himself. it just a little harder now that he's getting older.

[Linda]

I know what you are saying and I hear you but what the heck is normal? I have always treated Paul like a regular kid. To me that is "normal"

As long as Brock is ok with it I wouldn't worry too much about it. Who knows maybe somewhere down the line Brock won't need his meds.

[Amsmom]

brocksmom, i know exactly how you feel.
my ds takes meds that require him to get blood levels twice a yr. he hates getting the shots and i feel soooooo guilty that he has to b/c of the meds. i know he needs the meds but i just feel so crappy about it. of course, its not just twice a yr that i feel bad about it. i feel yucky about it many days in between the bloodwork. sometimes when i am just giving him his meds, i feel lousy. but of course he doesnt know that!
to you

[Brocksmom]

i guess i mean normal by not taking meds at all

[Linda]

Well maybe you can look at it as there are many people....adults and children alike that take meds on a daily basis for other medical problems.

[AnneM]

Brockmom I hear you too !! ... and I do understand about it getting harder as they get older ...

Just to reinforce what Linda said about people taking meds on a daily basis for all sorts of medication conditions ... This is so true and I think DOES bring it into perspective!!

I always remember when Sam started meds at age 13 and at that time was given the three times a day ritalin meaning he had to go to the school nurse during breaks to get his dose ... He was by NO MEANS the only kid getting medication from the school nurse ... and no I don't mean just other add/adhder's ... there were kids in there getting meds for a HUGE range of things ...

Kids taking medications for 'something or another' is I understand much more "common" than most people even realise ... It certainly surprised Sam to find that so many other kids also needed to go and get various meds from the school nurse!!

[milesofsmiles]

At the wise age of 8 our son realized that the medicines he is taking helps him be nicer to friends, get things done, and help him to stay in emotional control. He says that he likes himself better. He knows that I take medicine for my stomach, grandpa takes a pharmacy of meds for everything, and he even had a buddy that went down to the office for meds with him. As Linda mentioned in other posts, as our kids develop into young adults, they can develop the skills to cope with adhd and sometimes can reduce or eliminate those medicines. As long as Brock realizes that he can recognize a difference, and knows it helps then that is 'normal'.

Miles

[StrugglingAgain]

My ds is very good about taking meds. He's taken them since he was four, but I too, feel guilty. Nonetheless, he desperately needs them. I asked him the other day if HE can tell the difference when he takes them and when he hasn't, and he said NO. I'm really surprised. You'd think at least he would notice that no one is yelling at him all the time.

[amcfanny]

I'm on the feeling guilty bandwagon today myself. I was so convinced we needed to go w/o meds and have a teacher that doesn't get excited about incomplete work. BUT - he's not getting hardly ANY work done and homework is taking a good three hours. I called the ped yesterday and have an appointment for Monday to talk about what medication we should try this year.

[camismom]

Brocksmom, I know how you are feeling as I have dealt will that guilt many times over! But as Linda said, lots of kids take medicine! When that feeling comes over me I strike it down with this, "at least if I have to give my child medicine, it is ONLY for ADHD...it could be something worse." I use to give meds to students at the middle school I worked at. I gave meds for asthma, diabetes, epilepsy... lots of stuff. So, i I have to treat my child for a disorder...if my child has to have one...I thank God it is only ADHD and not leukemia, or whatever. I do know what you mean though. Why my child? is a question I ask frequently.

[finnmom]

Brocksmom, been there too, I sure know how you feel.

only thing that keep´s me doing the med-route, is that I can clearly see that dh profit´s from those, he does so much better with med´s than without....Feeling quilty is healthy in this case, when you stop feeling quilty of giving med´s to your child, that´s the time you should take a good look at the mirror.
If Brock´s all right with med´s, then

[kstquilter]

i think we all need to lighten up on ourselves when it comes to meds. i guess i don't really feel guilty. i feel bad that brittany needs to take them and wish it wasn't like that but it is. and it's such a piece of cake compared to life threatening diseases that some children have.
no one likes giving their kids meds but it's just the way things are for some kids. i also agree that there are lots of kids who go to the nurse for a wide range of meds every day.
i hate that it makes life harder for her but then i also know we are all good parents who care, take the time to work with our kids unlike lots of kids who are "normal" and have parents who should have never been parents.
unless brittany makes a stupid choice that costs her her life, this isn't life threatening. and lots of kids who aren't adhd make stupid choices that cost them their lives.
i watch kids who can't breathe, who take steroids and gain weight then get made fun of, i see bald kids going thru chemo, diabetic kids who have to give themselves shots every day and can't eat and drink what everyone else does. and then i think how lucky we are and how a couple pills a day for a relatively focused kid is such a blessing. i know it's not that simple for alot of our kids but things can always be worse.
if we find a med or don't need a med and our kids are doing pretty well in school and with friends, then i think it's great. then let it go. move on because there are going to be bigger problems to worry about down the road. not that taking meds aren't a big problem but drinking, driving, drugs, sex and their decisions about doing them or not doing them are heading your way. i'm already living them! i know brittany makes better choices when she takes meds. she can focus on the logic more and not be so impulse driven.
sorry, don't mean to offend anyone. i know giving our kids meds is a big decision and not an easy one. but if you're lucky enough to find a med that works and a kid who's willing to take it when they still need it, count yourself lucky.
karen
p.s hope i'm not posting this twice because our ocmputer is really slow today. please excuse me if it posts twice.

[Kaiti]

Brocksmom don't feel bad about giving meds. This coming from a person that before I joined this site never would have thought that I would agree with giving meds.

Working with kids and the insight that I have gained from you all makes me realize that meds aren't the evil that I once thought. It's the adhd that is evil if it is let loose.

I fight with myself everyday debating to or not to. Sometimes I feel guilty because I don't give Mikey anything. I struggle with reading lables sometimes. I debate with myself about why I can't give Mikey apple juice or orange juice,,,,,makes him a little monster I tell ya.

Have you asked him if he can feel a difference?

[AnneM]

This is interesting about whether our kids can "feel" a difference ... Sam always, always maintained he felt exactly the same on meds as he did off meds ... YES he "felt" the same ... but his behaviour was different and I or his teacher could always tell whether he had had his meds that day or not ... but for him he just said he"FELT" just the same either way !! ... which in my opinion just has to be GOOD ... I wouldn't actually want him to "feel" any different!!

[Linda]

annem said:

This is interesting about whether our kids can "feel" a difference ... Sam always, always maintained he felt exactly the same on meds as he did off meds ... YES he "felt" the same ... but his behaviour was different and I or his teacher could always tell whether he had had his meds that day or not ... but for him he just said he"FELT" just the same either way !! ... which in my opinion just has to be GOOD ... I wouldn't actually want him to "feel" any different!!

Same here Anne...Paul always said he felt the same.....but he still had his moments with his behavior ;D ;D ;D