"Psychological" meds?

[AnneM]

My son Sam is nearly 17 and is virtually OFF the Concerta that he was taking for the past few years .... However, both HE and I are finding it difficult to "sever" the final connection ....

On THREE DAYS A WEEK only he still takes 18 mg (i.e. a VERY low dose) .... (at age 14/15 he was on 54 mg so that gives an indication of the huge drop)... but to "give up" this three-days of 18 mg is what we are BOTH finding difficult!! ... not in any way because of a physical dependency but because of what I think is a "psychological" dependency! (i.e. it might just help on the days you have lots of maths, english etc)

If I am honest I actually can no longer tell the difference between him on the days he takes the 18mg and the days he takes nothing ... 'Logic' tells me that this is now no longer required !! ... but it seems as if we have a "psychological" barrier about giving up that last remaining 18 mg !! ... "just in case it is still needed"

I would value your thoughts ...

[mothercat]

At 17 kids tend to think they are grown up (basically they are almost) but they tend to also think they can do anything and are incapable of failing or "falling down".
What would be wrong (since it is such a small dose anyway) to just trying it for a month without . (But if he is in school yet I might be tempted to wait till break time
before doing so) I mean there is nothing to stop him from going back on if it doesn't work out..

I never get to see Jared 'on meds' as they wear off before school lets out, but when he thinks he can do without (atleast once a year) we agree to let him try it and usually within two weeks HE realizes that he needs the meds. BUT jared is only just 12. Sorry I cant be of much better help!

[Linda]

I am with mothercat...keep it around....just in case. When Paul decided he wasn't going to take it anymore...he just stopped...mainly because he said it wasn't helping anymore.


I think the differrence though was Paul never took meds on week-ends..summer...etc. I think Sam will do fine ...try it...what the heck

[camismom]

I agree with you Anne... I think we DO become somewhat "psycholigically" dependent. I know when Cami wants to try without it, I worry about how she does in school. "OK," I may tell myself, "so what if she's getting by without it... she could be doing much better with it." There have been times when she has gone to guitar lessons or drama lesson and things of that matter on days she would normally not take her meds and I'll offer it to her "so she can better concentrate" in the class.

Sam is old enough to tell the difference in himself. When he is on break from school, tell him to pick a project outside of work and school for a day... a project that requires his attention. Go without that day and see how he does.

If he sees he still needs a little... it'll always be there to go back to.

I still so hope that one day Cami will reached the wonderful realization that she can handle herself without the help of meds.

Good for Sam!!!

[Linda]

Anne...I think you are reacting the same way I did when Paul said he wasn't going to take meds the start of this school year.

I was really scared...somehow we as parents NEVER forget the phone calls from school....the conferences...you name it. I was freaking but he has done ok and so will Sam.

[Amsmom]

annie girl, i think sam will do fine without it also (is 18 mg really doing anything?). but i understand the psychological dependency. how about if you wean to sam taking it 2 times a week, then once a week, then none? maybe that will be more helpful than the "cold turkey" method. to you both!!!

[AnneM]

THANKYOU for your replies .... I have read through them three times now ...

In fact on our last visit to the doc he said to Sam "If you want to completely stop them and see how you go there is absolutely NO REASON NOW why you shouldn't.. "

When we came out from the appointment I asked Sam about this and he said "Oh I think I will just keep taking the 18 mg for the three days a week ... "

During the Easter Break (2.5 weeks) he was on absolutely NOTHING and he was ABSOLUTELY FINE .. but ... (the psychological thing again!) .. I just feel and he just feels that if he is in a classroom setting having to concentrate on things like maths, english etc. he still needs it ... and it seems we are BOTH too wary to try it without .... but then again as you said Amsmom (and the doctor said the same thing ... "Is 18 mg in a guy of Sam's age and who WAS on 54 mg EVERY DAY really doing anything anyway?"

I think what you said Linda about "never forgetting the calls from the school etc.etc." is very very TRUE !! .. and I think THAT is honestly the root cause of this psychological effect !! ... I sure don't want to go "back there" and neither does he!!

[Linda]

It just plain gives me the shivers Anne just thinking about it.

[kstquilter]

anne,
sam probably is old enough to know if it's helping him or not. i always worried as well when brittany forgot hers. i agree with mothercat, i might wait until school is out, just in case it really is doing just enough to help him in school.
brittany always told me at that age that she couldn't tell the difference but she recently told me that she has a very narrow view when on ritalin. sort of like a straight line. that tells me that she really could tell the difference but didn't want to take the meds anymore.
i've been trying to get her back on something so she can focus better in school but she hasn't so far.
i agree that all the parents probably have a bigger dependence on the meds than our kids!
karen

[finnmom]

Anne, I can totally understand this "pshycological dependency", it has helped him so much, co it´s natural, for both of you, to hezetate a little stopping it completely. I´d wait until summer, then let him be med-free all the summer and think about it again when he goes to school. I think Sam has to have some time to realize he can do fine without it...he´ll get htere sooner than you think

[AnneM]

THANKYOU everyone !! ...

Sam and I have had a chat (based on all the great advice we have here!) and we have collectively decided to wait until the end of this academic term and then try Sam completely without them .. with a view to him being med free when he starts up again at college in September.....

I think .. I honestly in my heart think .... he WILL be fine ... because he is fine without them on the days he doesn't take them ... but it is just that "psychological barrier" when he is in a "learning environment" !! ...

[Linda]

Tell Sam that Paul has been doing fine without them this school year so he knows he is not alone in what ever he decides.

[AnneM]

Thanks Linda and in fact I have ALREADY told him about Paul stopping his meds altogether and finding he was just "fine" ... It helps so much to have someone he can relate to who has done exactly the same thing ... AND not forgetting how successful this has been for Paul!!

[camismom]

Sounds like a good plan Anne. It is so good that you and Sam have the relationship you do in being able to chat and make decsisons together. I have no doubt at all that he will be just fine!

[AnneM]

Thanks Christy !! Sam is a good kid and I am very lucky!... but we still have our moments .. There are times when things have to be "now now now" - he can be very impatient .... and he is easily frustrated at times .... but these times are comparatively sooooooo rare ... They are no longer what I expect on a daily basis .... more like on a 2-3 monthly basis .... and then ONLY when something 'specific' frustrates him .... a few years back it felt like he would get frustrated for no reason and THAT was hard!!