Why is it....

[camismom]

that at around age 13 our kids want to "see how they do without it"? It being their meds of course. I saw this all too often when I worked at the school, and now I'm seeing it with Cami. Friday morning and this morning she refused to take her med. She wants to see how she can do without it, claiming she already has a hard time focusing WITH the med, so she somehow rationalizes that that must mean she doesn't need it anymore. ARGH! Is it they just can't see it, or they refuse to see it? This time it being how they act without meds. That they DO need it. This weekend Cami froze a cotton ball and a wadded up piece of paper towel in our freezer, and made herself a scarecrow type figure with Andy's old clothes just because she was "bored out of her mind." Can we say impulse control here? I try telling her without sounding insulting that she does need it, but she is adamant that she wants to see for herself. ARGH! again. They have end-of-nine-week's finals this week and will be reveiwing today. I swear I almost hope the child gets herself in some mild trouble today so she can answer her question and move on before she messes up on test days. I see her without it. Believe me, she is nowhere near being able to go without it yet. Why can't she see that?

[Linda]

Because she is 13....Because she is trying to pull away...She will see herself she needs the meds....but then again she said the meds weren't helping her focus...so I guess I would be looking into that.

[camismom]

Linda said:

...but then again she said the meds weren't helping her focus...so I guess I would be looking into that.

Exactly! I tried telling her if she is noticing this then she probably needs a med increase. I mean if you're having a slightlly hard time (as she put it) focusing on meds, then think how you'll be without them. I guess like always she'll have to learn the hard way. I just don't want her zoning out today and missing some needed info for the finals later this week.

I want her not to need them just as bad as she does, but right now with those hormones going crazy, it is not the time.

[Linda]

I don't know why some of our kids have to learn the hard way. I guess it will be "natural consequences for cami"

Sometimes I think they like being the way they are without the meds I know it sounds mean but I am sure you have seen it at the middle school where you used to work.

[mothercat]

I feel for ya..

MY sisters daughter was at my folks today...she is 16 and mentally about 10. She has a problem where the remember part of her brain doesnt function so she cant learn simple words like this, that, why etc. I dont know what they call it. She reads at the 1st grade level and will never do any better as she has to relearn each word every time she sees it. But she has decided to stop meds for her adhd (which I might add they let her self administer) .. there is a big argument as to whether she should stop them or not amongst some of us..her parents could care less. They wont ever let her live alone (even if she could) because they would lose the all important disability check (another bone of contention).

She is boy crazy and very impulsive and has about as much common sense as a possum crossing the street. Yet she gets to decide whether she needs the meds or not..
I stay confused. As long as Jared is a minor he will have some say in meds but NOT the final say. I know they have to learn to be on their own and leave the nest but until the day I shove him over the side he will do what I want...I hope...I hope ..I hope.. I hate the teen age years of rebelliion

[sportsmom]

I hate to say but I am one of the lucky ones

Levi and I just had this talk yesterday about taking meds and he said that it don't bother him at all. He knows he does much better at school and his attention is more on task. BUT if he takes the evening dose to late and he starts to melt down~~~WATCH OUT We were having this discussion because he has a med check appt on Thursday and I wanted his input on how he feels~~I like to talk this over with him so he has some control in the decision in his treatment. Maybe I should knock on wood??

[Linda]

I never had a problem with Paul taking his meds....he always knew his body very well. But at the start of this school year he said he didn;t need them anymore so I said ok. He is doing well without them.

In my opinion cami is too young to make that decision...cause no one knows her better than mom

BTW Christy...how did she do?

[camismom]

Well, SHE said she did fine.... no problems.... but there again she sees things differently than I do. I know she was pretty dang hyper last night. This morning I had made up my mind she was going to take them, period! If I had to threaten her with restriction. But guess what? We were running way late and I forgot them!! I can count on one hand how many times I've done that. So, she is at school today without them again. I emailed all her teachers to make them aware of this and also asked them to let me know if they noticed a difference. I also asked them to say something to her, without letting on they know she didn't take her meds, if they notice a change for the worse.

She's got her nine week's final in Language Arts today so my fingers are firmly crossed she does o.k.

[Linda]

Maybe she WILL do ok....but it really does sound like the meds aren't working. When was the last time she had a "bump".

[camismom]

Last year. I really hope to hear from at least one of her teachers. I mean, I know her grades aren't the best but that is always due to poor test scores since she never studies.

[AnneM]

I dooo see what you mean Christy by kind of hoping that there is a minor mishap ... "just enough" to make Cami realise that she is "better off" with the meds !! ...

At around Cami's age Sam also went through a patch where he decided he "didn't want to be a boy on meds" and fortunately it was short lived ... he soon realised he was not functioning so well and that was the last time we heard of it ...

So ... My fingers are firmly crossed that this "phase" will not last long!!

[kstquilter]

christy,
so sorry to hear about your struggles with cami. sounds like her and my dd are very similar.
i think alot of this has more to do with trying to pull away from you and asserting her independence. can you feel your intelligence leaving your body as we speak? i keep wondering when i'll get smarter! I have to believe it won't be too much longer!
i have to agree that it sounds like she needs more or different medication instead of none. but if she's anything like my dd, she'll have to come to this on her own.
my dd stopped at 17 although she tried many times before that. i know she didn't take all her medication every day. she had three doses no matter what we tried. but i could usually get her to take them if i used dance or we could compromise on taking her meds when something big was coming up like finals or a big paper.
dd couldn't tell the difference for a long time either. i guess if i didn't see any difference i wouldn't want to take meds either.
she told me jsut today that she could tell on ritalin but not adderall which she just started.
good luck with cami. i know how hard it is to have a stubborn, independent daughter!
karen

[camismom]

Well, she stayed off the meds all last week. When I got back to work yesterday, I had two emails from teachers telling me they had noticed a significant change in her. I told Cami about the emails (without letting on they knew she had been off meds) and she decided to get back on them. I told her she may very weel not need them one day... but now while her body is going thru all it's hormonal changes is not yet the time.

[finnmom]

GREAT

She seem´s to be rational when she need´s to I´am glad she decided to go back with med´s, if she need´s them right now, then she does.

[AnneM]

This is really interesting Christy !! ... and it brings me in mind of an article I read a while ago (if I can find it I will post it here) ... which said that our teenagers (particularly younger teenagers) themselves CANNOT tell whether they need the meds or not themselves ... it is OTHERS AROUND THEM who can see the difference ... oh I am pleased that Cami listened to the feedback though !! GOOD FOR HER!!

Her time WILL come to be off them .... I am convinced ... but I would say personally ... NOT at age 13 ... from my own personal experience that was when they were needed the MOST !!