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Post by bransmomma on Mar 16, 2004 11:08:58 GMT -5
 I saw a new psycologist last night for my almost 4 yr. old son. I brought tons of documentation to help her determine what's going on with him. She thinks he may have ADHD and bi-polar. She provided me with tons of test type forms to fill out and give to his teachers to complete. We are going back in two weeks for her to meet my son, then she will tell me her thoughts on future treatment. I'm so happy. I hope this works. I love my son and want him to be a happy boy and he is just so sad and mad all the time now. Thank you to everyone for sharing your stories with me and encouraging me to continue trying to get help. Now what can I do in the meantime to help his behavior at home? Any suggestions on discipline? He walks all over me and does not take me seriously.
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Post by Honeysmom on Mar 16, 2004 11:20:22 GMT -5
I am so glad that you found someone to see him. Now at least you are on the right track.
Honey also walks all over us sometimes, but we have had good results with stopping bad behavior before it starts. Like if I know he will flip out in the candy isle at the store, I avoid it totally. If he insists on wearing the same thing for 3 days, at night it "gets lost."
He is still young enough that I can outsmart him, sometimes. Do you have anything in particular that you really want to stop? I have to be careful b/c at their age trying to change it all at once is scary for them and seems to make it worse.
I haven't had luck with charts or anything like that, b/c I think Honey is too young and he doesn't get it yet.
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Post by bransmomma on Mar 16, 2004 11:24:49 GMT -5
THanks Honeysmom. That is funny what you said about the clothing because this morning my son put on the same shirt he had on yesterday and after arguing I finally let him wear it. I know I have to be more stern with him. He had this weird obsession with clothes lately- getting dressed in the middle of the night, always changing his clothes, only likes specific clothes etc. I hope this gets easier as he gets older and receives help from doctors and myself.
Thanks.
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dfp
Member
Posts: 57
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Post by dfp on Mar 16, 2004 22:56:58 GMT -5
The Explosive Child, by Ross Greene will help very much with your day-to-day issues. Even if you don't think your child is explosive, it's certainly an effective and helpful book. It's certainly helped tame some behavior issues in both my children and made me a more effective parent.
Good luck.
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Post by Amsmom on Mar 17, 2004 19:55:06 GMT -5
The Explosive Child is great and Dr Greene teaches you to "pick your battles." He writes about putting the different negative behaviors into one of 3 "baskets". The one that is the most serious is behavior that is unsafe. That requires immediate intervention from you. The other end of the spectrum is behavior that you can ignore, which could include wearing the same shirt several days in a row. It's not dangerous and no one is getting hurt, the worst that can happen is he might start to smell a little funny after awhile.  I think the middle basket is behavior you would like corrected,but doesn't have to be immediate (I'm not sure if that's exactly it, sorry, I haven't read the book in a few years). The book is empowering though, and I did learn to pick my battles. People who don't know us might wonder why I am ignoring some of my son's odd behaviors, but picking your battles can save your sanity! I am so glad you met with the dr. That is wonderful news!! Keep us posted. |
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Post by AnneM on Mar 18, 2004 12:52:04 GMT -5
I was just going to say something about "picking your battles" when I saw that Amsmom has already said it! So to support what Amsmom has already said I agree 100% ... I have a 15 year old and I have to admit it took me quite a few years to learn this trick!! ...
I love the idea of the different "baskets" ... and I agree that the wearing the same shirt twice in a row really belongs in the "low priority" basket ... I would suggesting leaving it there for now and concentrate as Amsmom says on the things which are in the "higher" priority baskets ... & many of the things which are in the lower priority basket will sort themselves out on their own ... e.g. that shirt will start to smell ... which in turn won't be pleasant for your son ... this could result in him learning the lesson all on his own ... if it doesn't and this goes on and on then this should maybe be moved "up" a basket ...
We do have to pick our battles with our kids ... if we don't then life could be just one lonnnnnggg constant battle and that isn't any fun for anyonw ....
GOOD LUCK!!!
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Post by dansmommy on Mar 20, 2004 15:43:48 GMT -5
I love the advice to pick your battles, although it can be a challenge around the in-laws! My brother-in-law wanted me to make a big deal out of my 8 y/o son sucking his thumb, and I'd never seen him do it before in his life. Being stern doesn't really work with ds, but if I decide something is important, I do have to be consistent and calm.
Another thing I need to remind myself to do -- not so much with my own kids, but with a challenging little guy I'm babysitting, is to remember to praise the heck out of them. I spoke to the preschool teacher of the little guy I babysit, and she said the best thing she's done with him is to set the timer for seven minutes, and every time it goes off, find something to praise him for. Christie
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