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Post by colesmom on Oct 29, 2003 16:52:40 GMT -5
My name is Sandi and I have a boy named Cole with ADHD and ODD. He is 5 and he has just started school. We are getting feedback from his teacher and class assistants that Cole is very hyper at school.
As we suspected..... we are going through more issues about this now that he is at school and we are going to address medication soon.
To tell you the truth, sometimes I really wish he were taking something at home. I really don't know how I get through each day. I am beginning to think I am going to break down.
I rarely get Cole to listen. He has more time outs than I can tell you. We have tried behavior modification including a success bell, stickers, charts, rewards, and re-arranged his schedule and diet.
None if this has mattered to the point that it calms Cole down and really makes a difference. Besides, I don't expect anyone else to memorize our "program" so that they can treat Cole different than other kids.
I am besides myself and looking for ideas and suggestions that will help me in any way. I am scared of medications and I am scared that if I don't I may be harming Cole more than helping.
I would like Cole to be able to mingle with other kids better in school. He is not hitting other kids or harming them. He is a real sweetheart.
He's ???just very active and won't listen if he really wants his way.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sandi (Cole, 5 and starting school)
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Post by catseye on Oct 29, 2003 17:00:44 GMT -5
We didnt like the idea of medicating either... We had a picture in our head of sd becomming a zombie or something...
Looking back I wish we had started medication BEFORE school started(like the summer before), it took nearly 2 years to get the right combination for sd.. The lost time in her learning will never be recouped... She lost precious time makeing friends, and staying with her class... We have had to hold her back in first grade now, and I believe it is because she wasnt on the same learning page due to the dissability not being controlled...
Dont get me wrong I would never suggest medicating is the cureall for all children... But in our experience it has helped, and I wish we had found help sooner, for sd (now 8) sake... Good luck in whatever you try!!!
cat
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Post by AnneM on Nov 3, 2003 14:18:23 GMT -5
Hi ... I agree with Catseye .... nobody can tell you whether to medicate or not medicate your child because this is just so personal ... but (also to agree with Catseye!) we too were frightened of medication .... I took my son off school for a day on the first day because I was petrified of what might happen.... the reality was that all that happened was that he calmed down and became more focussed and less impatient... but there was absolutely NO change in his inner-personality AT ALL!! After that I became more confident.
My son is now 15 years and wasn't diagnosed until he was 13. Looking back I wish the intervention had been sooner ... BUT you have to decide whether medication is right or not for you .... you may also want to look at the alternatives section .... and GOOD LUCK and keep us posted!!
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Post by Dad2Brooke on Nov 3, 2003 15:38:47 GMT -5
I believe most parents are scared and have guilty feelings about using medicine.
Will this harm my daughter, will they stop being themselves. Isn't there something else I could do for them that would work besides medicine.
Bottom line is that for many children medicine works. (of course you may have to try more than one and more than one dose)
I believe that most people will say that they wish they had done it sooner. Not only for their children's health and well being, but the parents as well.
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Kymn
Member
Posts: 75
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Post by Kymn on Nov 4, 2003 9:39:18 GMT -5
Yes I agree with dad2brooke I wish I had done it sooner too.My son is 7 and is on Ritalin with great results.He now is able to control himself,his body and his emotions(most of the time  Just seeing him gain confidence in himself is such reassurance that we made the right decision and he too is still the same sweet funny interesting boy he always was.Just not going mock 9 anymore lol. Make sure you research all you can because knowledge is power. Have a great day Kymn |
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Post by vickilyn32 on Nov 4, 2003 12:07:26 GMT -5
I have a 13 yr old DS who was diagnosed in Kindergarden with ADHD inattentive/impulsive. We tried other methods and tested for other disabilities for 2 years before starting meds. He went to pre-1st between kindergarden and 1st grade and we did not start meds until the end of 2nd grade. what a diffrence. He felt better, I felt better, he started bringing home homework, and doing it, bringing home friends, getting along with his sister better. He is now in 7th grade and we just switched him to strattera because it seems like the adderall stopped working once he hit puberty. He is 5'5" tall and weighs 110 lbs.
He plays football, basketball and has never had a temper problem during games or practice. He is one of the best behavied kids on the team, the coaches love him. We still have problems in school because he is behind his grade in reading, so that affects his writing and spelling as well. He takes resourse reading, but regular classes with modifications on his IEP. He has a talent for art, and building. Has his first girlfriend, and the problems we do have are the same ones the other 13 year old boys have. His personality has not changed, he has just become more himself now. Some kids do well without meds, and some like my son reallly need to be on them. If you decide to try them, you can always stop if they do not work. The hardest part I went through, was my DS telling me he was to stupid to live, and never should have been born because he was so bad. That was when I gave in to the meds. I wish I had not waited so long, but at least now I dont sit and wonder if something else would have worked, because I tried them already.
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Post by Christiansmom on Nov 11, 2003 19:54:58 GMT -5
Hi, my name is Beth and I just wanted to drop you a line to let you know that you are not alone. My son, Christian, is also 5 and we are going through the same emotions you are right now. He was only diagnosed with ADHD three weeks ago and even though I asked them about his oppositional behavior, they did not diagnose him as ODD. We went through the DEC and we are waiting for a doctor's evaluation. Like your son, Christian can be the sweetest child, but when he does not get his way, he becomes completely disrespectful and hard to handle. There are some moments when I think I can't handle it. I go to school with him every day- as I said we are in the beginning stages of all this and we are still in IEP meetings to determine which services he is qualified to receive through the school system. He is enrolled in a Montessori program, which can be rather distracting, but I go to help him stay focused on his classwork and I attempt to keep him from running the perimeter of the classroom... it is not an easy task!!!  I have struggled with the decision of whether or not to medicate him and as soon as we can figure out our new insurance, we will be taking him to discuss these options with his pediatrician. I really did not want to medicate Christian in the beginning and I am still weighing the decision if I would want to do it at home. School is my major concern right now. Christian is very bright and we feel his lack of attention and hyperactivity are preventing him from tapping into his full potential and that is why we feel the need to look into medicating him at school. Being that I spend 99% of the day with him, I can relate to your feelings of frustration. There are really no words to describe the frustration I feel when he gets upset because we tell him he cannot do something or have something. He always wants things his way and talks back to us constantly, if we put him in time-out, he comes out of his room. We can't take him out in public without him acting up. For those reasons, I have been debating the use of medication here at home. I wish you the best of luck and hope that someone here can give you some advice toward a decision you feel comfortable with. I will be checking replies myself to see if anyone's insight can help me as well. Good luck to you... Beth |
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Post by hopeful on Nov 11, 2003 20:16:44 GMT -5
Just to add my 2 cents:
Until we got close to getting the medication right, the behavior mod didn't really seem to help at all. Now that we're almost there, I'm so glad we stuck with it. Fortunatly, my husband & I were doing pretty much the right stuff all along. What's helped is our son has an outlet to help him work out problems.
No one wants to medicate, but in our case, my son is happy and thriving. We still have some anxiety issues, but his life and our life are so much better.
Everytime we have to "tweek" something with his meds, as we're doing now, I get scared. But I know I can always go back to square one. Everyone in our house is doing much better now.
Good luck with your decission. There are no wrong decissions. Doing your research before hand can really help.
Also, try and keep a diary of behaviors, time of day, etc. That really helps, with or without meds.
Gotto cook dinner. Sorry about my spelling.
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ple
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by ple on Nov 12, 2003 0:02:35 GMT -5
I'm pretty new here too, but wanted to tell colesmom and christiansmom that I was right where you are now, four years ago. My son is currently in fourth grade. DG was 3 when my parents said he exhibited the same behavior as my brother did over forty years ago -- my brother was dx'd hyperactive back then, but did not respond to ritalin.  Growing up with him was interesting to say the least; I cannot tell you how many times I have called my son by my brother's name and vice versa! ;D We did not put DG on anything until middle of 3rd grade --it had gotten to the point where I felt we were doing him a disservice by NOT medicating him. If I had to do it over again, I would have had a psych evaluation done back then -- complete with a counselor and psychiatrist involved, rather than trusting my son's ped to do the evaluation and prescribing (turns out DG has been under dosed on Strattera and it has caused quite a few problems due to his ped's ignorance on the issue)  If you are able to swing it, I feel the psych eval is worth it. Also, the counseling is really helping DG, especially as he is totally off meds  (so a proper & accurate psych eval can be done). Even once he is back on meds, we plan on continuing the counseling indefinitely as we have learned from this site that this is the most effective treatment for kids like ours. Just an FYI...if your child has a family history of mood disorders, addiction, or suicide, starting that child on stimulants or antidepressants before getting the whole "psychiatric picture" could do your child more harm than good. I wish I had known this before DG's ped put him on meds (guess I shoulda gotten on here a few years ago)! Knowledge is definitely power -- Good luck! |
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Post by LitlBaa on Nov 13, 2003 2:30:06 GMT -5
My daughter was dx in the fourth grade. I had tried just about everything and was at my wit's end. I didn't like the idea of meds but I figured I'd tried everything else and something had to change or she was going to be a very unhappy and friendless little girl. Ritalin worked for her for a while, then it started wearing off in two hours and she would literally bounce off the walls, so we switched her to Concerta, but she wasn't eating or sleeping very well, but she had the focus at school and was pleasant at home. About 8 months ago we tried Strattera, she's eating and sleeping and doing her homework, so I'm pleased with the results.
It's a hard decision to make, and I was second guessing myself all over the place. You just have to decide what you think will be best for your child. Sometimes it's meds, sometimes not. For Katie, it was.
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Post by mom2tj on Nov 13, 2003 9:50:23 GMT -5
To med or not to med ..... well it is realy up to you we all feel guilty about it at some point mostly I was afaid of what ohers would think of him now.
Let me tell you MY own expericance, I am 37yo living with add and my parents didnt beleive it they did nothing to help, I went throught school failing in every subjet never graduated high school and I am now stuck in a low paying job that I hate, I hate going to work and realy wish I could have become someting that would make me feel good I wanted to be a teacher I wanted to help other kids like me.... I loved to learn but no one was able to help.
I dont blame my parents they shere not informed of our choisses but I wish that they would have done something. I dont want that for my son. He was dg last year he was in 2nd grade with a low 1st grade status we tried everything possible from kinder through 1st grade the teachers thought he was spoiled and would come around.... anyway we ended up trying ritalin it worked but short term he hated taking it at school so we are now on Concerta. last year we hat notes from the teacher every other day he was sent out of class everyday he would spend more time outside then inside! so where was the learning? ( I cant say anything about the teacher she was so good and help us so much throught all this but she has 20 other kids to tend to also) this year we have had 1 note sent home (the day we forgot him meds) and he rarely gets sent out of class his work gets done and with tutor help he is catching up. I dont expect that he becomes a doctor but I want him to have choisses I want him to graduate High school then the rest will be up to him.
sorry its so long this site is my therapy! I dont think I ever told anyone about my parents doing nothing to help me! ;D
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