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Post by 1mom on Feb 1, 2004 21:13:59 GMT -5
here's another option:
take the headphones to the police station and say they were found (they were). leave your phone number. so if they're unclaimed after x amount of days, they will call you to come and retrieve them.
if the thief comes round to get them back from sam, then he can say that they are at the police station. when asked why they were there, sam can reply that he doesn't exactly know...just that the police have them....((maybe thief will think they are being dusted for fingerprints and that will put some fear into him)), and it shouldn't be seen as any sort of threat, since sam didn't say anything about the stolen albumns. he could add that if the thief "found" his missing property, then he'd be more than happy to give the headphones to him once the police called sam to release them. that way, both boys get their possessions back, and handling it like that shouldn't put sam at risk for violence or retaliation.
poor fellow. your boy's had some hard knocks at the friendship school lately, hasn't he? he's a good and brave man who is learning the value of real friendship. i just wish he didn't have to go through these trials, but also hope that his true friends will make it up to him after so much grief.
prayers and hugs,
1mom
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Post by Amsmom on Feb 1, 2004 21:15:54 GMT -5
Oh Anne, so sorry Sam had to have his trust hurt again so soon. It is nice, though, that his real friends are there for him and that he sees the value of true friendship. If "headphone guy" has the nerve to show up for his headphones, I don't think there is anything wrong with saying, "you'll get them back when I get my cd's back." He may be the only link Sam has to getting them back. Let the kid (headphone guy) do a little work to get the headphones back.
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Post by AnneM on Feb 2, 2004 12:53:08 GMT -5
You lot are ALL just WONDERFUL !! ...  The moral support and fantastic suggestions are just amazing... THANKS EVERYONE... Sam loves the idea of keeping the headphones "hostage" ... I also love 1mom's idea of depositing them at the police station ... but Sam himself says he would prefer to keep the police right out of it ... so we'll keep them "hostage" ... and see whether "headphone guy" comes round to claim them ... I suspect he actually won't!! ... but will be interesting to see!! ... We are pretty sure that "headphone guy" is the culprit based on the other boy's story. The reason we trust the other boy more is because when Sam realised he was missing some albums the other boy (the "storyteller") opened up his own album box there and then for Sam to look through and check .... Strangely "headphone guy" (who also had his own box of albums with him!) didn't make the same suggestion!! ... The sad thing about "Headphone guy" though is that about 6 months ago he was attacked badly by two men with a golf club which left him brain-damaged. (The attackers are now in jail). Before this time "Headphone Guy" was one of the older kids I actually liked the most. SINCE that time however, I understand he has been in quite a bit of trouble ... & although he "seems" like the same person on the outside, he has been doing things which he just would not have done before ... It certainly makes me wonder just what part of his brain was affected by the attack..... We don't see him very much at all (and I wish we hadn't seen him on Friday!) ... I am in no way "excusing" headphone guy for what he did ...(and those headphones still remain hostage!!) but it does make me wonder just what might have happened to his brain since this horrible attack last summer .... Any thoughts on this aspect??? |
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Post by kstquilter on Feb 2, 2004 22:56:02 GMT -5
well now i'm starting to feel sorry for headphone guy! i know the brain damage doesn't excuse what he did. however i think we've all had our kids do things that they probably wouldn't do if they didn't have adhd. like my daughter still lies and used to steal. i know this stems for the adhd, much like the brain damage has changed who this boy is.
could you talk to headphone guy's mom? not accusing him of stealing, just a way for you and sam to understand exactly what changes have happened to him.
maybe sam won't feel so much like this guy isn't a friend anymore and the same level of betrayal won't be there. obviously headphone guy has his own set of problems and possibly parents who don't know how to help him and they may not have a board like this where this so much support.
karen
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Post by loveforeric on Feb 3, 2004 10:12:01 GMT -5
AnneM;
I have to agree with D2b and Linda and say that Sam should use the nice headphones as an exchange item. If the headphone guy can't get the albums back then Sam has a very nice set of headphones for future album listening...It seems to me that it is about time Sam got some satisfaction of some kind, considering people think it is okay to take advantage of him...
I hope he gets his things back, but if he doesn't then he has learned to trust his gut about people and be careful,
Hope all works out, Have a peaceful day,
Christina 
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Post by AnneM on Feb 3, 2004 13:58:11 GMT -5
& Thankyou karen and christina ....
I do agree karen that there is a very sad side to this story ... "headphone guy" is 19 years old (4 years older than Sam) and before the assault last summer he held down a good job and was driving his own car ... NOW he is not allowed to drive for at least a year (until his brain settles down after the assault) so he has lost his car ... as far as I know he is still in the same job ... The far-reaching consequences of what those assaulters did was absolutely horrendous - especially as it now seems that "headphone guy" is getting into the sort of trouble he never did before ... so there is one heck of a sad aspect to this ...
BUT ... "Headphone Guy" also has to learn from scratch that he cannot go around doing this kind of thing! ... and so far (and it is Tuesday now) he has not been anywhere near us to retrieve those headphones! ... they remain hostage!
Sam has ALSO been told that the younger guy (original incorrect suspect!) ... who is 14 - was being bullyed by "Headphone Guy" and one other individual to "steal on their behalf" .. Apparently THIS is why he (the 14 year old) left early and quietly!!
Sam is kicking himself for leaving the room at all ... !!
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Post by kstquilter on Feb 3, 2004 23:03:58 GMT -5
well don't let sam beat himself up. you shouldn't have to worry about leaving the room for fear your "friends' will steal from you.
yes, it is a sad story for headphone guy but you're right, he does have to learn right and wrong. must be very difficult for him to relearn things and all of that is probably why he's getting in trouble. low self-esteem, acting out plus the physical changes.
the other's are right, he's probably learned alot.
karen
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Post by AnneM on Feb 4, 2004 14:26:18 GMT -5
We have found out more !! It seems that there were TWO people involved in the actual decision to steal Sam's albums ... Headphone guy was one ... the other was a friend of Headphone guy's that Headphone Guy had brought with him... not anybody that Sam knew previously. We have now discovered (or at least Sam has) that the "other" guy has in Sam's words "a huge criminal record for stealing and other things" .... so "Headphone Guy" is also sadly keeping very bad company right now ...
BUT ... to me there is a BIG positive ... Sam has realised that these guys are "No Good" and wants nothing more to do with them ... (not that he ever HAD a lot to do with them - but now it is completely ZERO!)... Again Sam's own words : "Well I certainly learned my lesson there" ...
P.S. and "headphone guy" has STILL not been round to claim his headphones!! ... they still sit in a drawer in Sam's room "waiting to see what happens" !!
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Post by Linda on Feb 4, 2004 14:39:13 GMT -5
Well I hope they are nice headphones,because in my opinion they belong to Sam now.  |
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