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Post by swmom on Jan 25, 2004 18:50:08 GMT -5
I am. I feel exhausted and worn out all the time. Being a parent of a normal child is a lot. Add all the time and effort, frustration dealing with an ADHDer and that is so much. For the first time in about 3 years of dealing with this, I am truly just burned out. I don't even want to try. Anyone feeling this? What do you do to get
revived and ready for more?
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Post by Amsmom on Jan 25, 2004 19:54:03 GMT -5
Dear Swmom,
YES!!!! I definitely know what you mean. I am burned out, exhausted and OFTEN feel like not trying anymore.
I wish I had a super answer for how to get by, but I don't. I'm a single mom and I don't have anyone else to watch ds8. When I just can't take it anymore, I take a day off of work to BE ALONE. It's not usually enough to recharge myself, but it does help. I don't do it nearly often enough though. I do go to therapy and also take meds for depression (which I had even before I had my son). Talking to my therapist is the best way to blow off steam and get the anger out. Just know that, yes, I absolutely understand. This is a very hard ride we're on.
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Post by Linda on Jan 25, 2004 20:02:52 GMT -5
Oh yeah ...been there..He is 15 now and things are a lot easier now than when he was younger.I truly feel I "have paid my dues".
From age 6 right up to middle school I had days that I just did not want to get up in the morning.The constant demands not to mention all the phone calls from school just about did me in!!
You have to take care of yourself first of all,because if you don't,it makes it that much harder to take care of your kids!!
Do you have a baby sitter so you can have some YOU time? A support group maybe?
Another thing that works for me even now is walking.I feel the stress coming on and I am out the door!!
You are not alone,most of us feel this at some time or another...but IT DOES GET BETTER WITH TIME.
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Post by kstquilter on Jan 25, 2004 22:50:07 GMT -5
i think all of us can relate to this, espeicially when they are younger and with you 24/7. i also take anti-depressants. i think i may have had post-partum dep. that never went away. never realized it until a few years ago.
i also wish i had a magic answer but it does get better as they get older, however the problems get bigger. but they tend to sleep longer as teens, be out a little more when they have a friend or get involved in some activity that keeps you apart for a few hours a week.
i also quilt which keeps what little sanity i have, alive! lots of things don't get done around here but taking time for myself helps me more than i can say.
linda, i don't know how you do this alone. dh and i barely manage with the two of us.
good luck and take care of yourself.
karen
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Post by Honeysmom on Jan 26, 2004 23:54:42 GMT -5
I agree with Amsmom, therapy does wonders for me. It is like just saying it out loud to another adult somehow makes me feel better. I also have to be really choosey with my battles. If I am not we are arguing all day long and I refuse to do that with a 4 year old. Somehow it makes me feel like I am making it worse. I go out on Saturday night as often as I can. I stay home all week with my 2 kids (with the exception of Honey being at school Wed.'s and Fridays) and by about Thursday I have developed a nervous twitch. My DH is finally realizing that if I do not have any adult contact for 2 weeks or more I get a little batty! What do the magazines say? Take hot baths and light candles. Get your hair and nails done. And do not forget to have a glass of wine here and there. Yeah right!! The tub would be like a swimming pool with the kids, the house would burn down from the candles, and I'd end up pulling out all of the nice new hair anyways!!  |
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Post by LitlBaa on Jan 27, 2004 1:35:53 GMT -5
I constantly feel burned out! I'm taking Paxil, but I think I need a stronger one. I feel like I can't get ahead of the game, although I'd be happy to break even!
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Post by fivegonefishing on Jan 27, 2004 8:09:48 GMT -5
Burned out seems to be a constent thread in our household. We recently moved to a bigger house and my mom moved in with us. Even she is feeling the effects of dealing my three kids. I too take paxil. It's pretty overwhelming dealing with all the issues that surround rearing an adhd child. We're not sure if the twins are adhd or not but man are they ever hyper. good luck and try and find some 'me' time. I can escape while on my computer, between my website and the message boards I belong too, it gives me a sense of talking with adults.
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Post by camismom on Jan 27, 2004 8:38:21 GMT -5
There's not a day that goes by that I don't feel burned out. The stress in my life is so much, it can be very overwhelming. In addition to my growing ever more difficult preteen ADHD'r, I have a mother that has many, many ailments - goes through dialysis three times a week, stays sick, in and out of hospital, etc. and to top it off, two weeks ago my grandfather underwent emergency bypass surgery! I work full-time, and deal with my house, all the aforementioned things, outside activities such as church and tumbling for my dd in my off hours. It seems like I am always on the run and NEVER feel fully rested.
It is hard, but I just take it day by day. I have a wonderful support system in my husband, and I exercise daily to ease some of the stress and give my body a charge. I also have learned to "pick my battles". Things I used to really stress over during the week (like made up beds - I am a neat freak) I now let go and worry about on the weekends.
No matter what it takes, you have to find some "you" time. Get enough sleep too. The little thing nagging at you to get done will be there tomorrow!
Take care! ---- Christy
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Post by finnmom on Jan 27, 2004 10:15:16 GMT -5
No matter what it takes, you have to find some "you" time. Get enough sleep too. The little thing nagging at you to get done will be there tomorrow! Take care! ---- Christy [/quote] Yep, burn out in here too. Although I know it was my own desicion to have fulltime work and 3 kid´s, I still get really tired with it. I´am in the point where I will not go to bed until I´ve had my own time without any mess and whirling around and that is getting me!! Worst thing is that I seem to have no time with my hubby anymore, his working hour´s variate, so there are weeks when we just swich the duty at the frontdoor, I come in he goes out ;D, make´s marvel´s to our married live ;D I too, have ot get out and walk all by myself, that really clears my head well, I think that this is only a phase of my live, it´ll get better  Hang in there Marja |
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Post by Honeysmom on Jan 27, 2004 12:55:39 GMT -5
I just got done rading that Erma Bombeck book "A Mariage Made In Heaven -or- Too Tired For An Affair."
That is my life!
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Post by finnmom on Jan 27, 2004 13:32:55 GMT -5
I just got done rading that Erma Bombeck book "A Mariage Made In Heaven -or- Too Tired For An Affair." That is my life! That descripes my live to a tee ;D. I dont understand HOW people can have both energy and time for any affair´s, sound´s way too exhausting Marja |
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Post by AustinsMom on Jan 27, 2004 17:35:57 GMT -5
Sometimes it seems to just jump on me. I had a root canal today, went to pick up my son from school an hour early, as usual, to take him to his tutoring, and his teacher hit me with the "I'm having so much trouble with Austin's attitude at school. He's arguring with me, bickering with his friends" and she showed me a card he made for the priest today. It is Catholic school week, so they all made appreciation cards for the priest, and Austin had made a lovely card, and on the back it said "I hate Jordan", a friend who he apparently got mad at today. So there I stand with my numb, mildly throbbing jaw and look at her--she is obviously expecting me to have some grand scheme to solve this problem for her--and I had this overwhelmed feeling of "I don't even want to be standing here hearing this, let alone thinking of some way to respond." So I tell her I'll talk with him and get back with her and get the heck out of there. Today, that's just not something I have the strength to deal with. So I sit during tutoring, feeling overwhelmed and a little hopeless, then he comes out with Miss Julie who tells me what a phenomenal day he had, how much work he got done, etc. And he was a gem in the car and for at least this first hour home, has held everything together and I have had a break. So I'm feeling ok again. But to me the burn out just comes and goes....good days and bad days. So, today in particular, I know how you feel!  |
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Post by StrugglingAgain on Jan 27, 2004 18:17:22 GMT -5
AustinsMom, I, too, get the glares, notes, phone calls, etc. when my son has a horrendous day. I asked my child's psychologist how I should handle it. He said, "You tell the teacher to handle it herself at school. YOU (the parent) don't call HER when he's having a bad day at home, and they have NO business calling you during the day!!" So far, it's working, but I said as much to his teacher in a diplomatic way!
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Post by swmom on Jan 27, 2004 20:13:46 GMT -5
Thanks, everyone, for all your replies. It's nice to know that others are feeling this, too. It's been rather frozen around here the last 3 days - ice storm - and no school again tomorrow(the 3rd day). My husband has pretty much taken over for me these last few days. I'm so glad. I really needed to just lay down and chill for awhile. I do feel a little bit better. I'm secretly hoping he'll stay home tomorrow, too, so I can have one more day to myself!
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Post by loveforeric on Jan 28, 2004 12:07:10 GMT -5
SWMOM; Funny you should bring this up. I was just about to ask the same question. Been off the board a couple of weeks...thanks to flu season. However, I have been feeling the same way for about a month now and just don't know what to do about it. Now that you have asked this ? I might be able to get back up . Not that I don't have some help, my dh does help as much as he can. Any way, thank you for bringing this up and to all who reminded me that I am not alone. Have a peaceful day, Christina |
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