I am in shock!

[counting2ten]

I don't even know where to put this post but feel like I need to vent/share what was relayed to me this evening. My ex mother-in-law just passed away last week and of course all nine siblings and partners were together for the first time in ten years. I pride myself on not judging any of them based on stories from the others and try my best to be accepting of everyone despite their 'oddities'. One of the brother's partners has always been quite nasty and has always thought she is better than everyone else and does not like children at all except her own grandson of course. I have made a choice to have her to my home for obvious reasons and not make an effort to go to hers. She ended up at my house on New Year's Eve and also on Friday night and I was pleasantly surprised at the effort she was making with my kids. So much so that I commented to many family members that perhaps I had been wrong all along and judged her unfairly. I was warned by some to be careful and that I was being naive. I brushed them all off.

Apparently there was a discussion in the kitchen at someone else's house with other family members. She was ranting about the fact that kids like my son should never be allowed to reproduce, that kids like him are a drain on society and she is sick and tired of taxpayers having to pay for special education for them. Since it is obvious that he has severe neurological disorders ( ADHD, Tourettes, and Bipolar) they should be sterilized as soon as possible so that he doesn't carry on his problems to another child.

I cannot even imagine a person even thinking such unbelievable thoughts let alone voice them out loud. I am in shock! How dare anyone even think such horrible, wicked thoughts about another human being! As angry and furious as I am I don't think I could even begin to tell her what I think of her. She has met my son a total of six times over eight years at family functions when he truly has been on his best behaviour and she makes judgements like that based solely on me taking the time to explain to everyone what each disorder entails and how we deal with it.

I don't even know where to go with this because I can't believe it even happened. I needed to tell someone and I know that everyone here would understand my total astoundment/shock/horror that someone in this day and age would have these opinions.

I am heartbroken that my amazing son is looked at by someone this way.

[Jorgy]

Sounds like Hitler would have loved her! Her kind is not worth the energy used up in even thinking of them. Sue

[Linda]

It sounds to me like she has her own issues.Write her off and continue with your life.Keep her away from your child,he doesn't need to hear garbage coming out of an adults mouth.

A question...Have you confronted her about this? I am sure you will want to at some point.

You are right ,we do understand and we are here for you.

[Amsmom]

Dear Counting,
Don't let someone with such a sick, evil mind get to you. Consider the source, she is obviously unwell. I would rather have a planet of people like your ds, than even one more like her. It is quite shocking to hear though, my mouth dropped open when I read your post. I remember what a friend of mine once said when I had a very upsetting experience. She said "FIDO". Forget it and Drive On. Don't waste your energy on this sick individual. And by the way, you are a wonderful mom!!!

[catatonic]

Unfortunately, the world is full of ignorant bigots. Where possible, we owe it to ourselves to stand up and make it clear we disagree with their perverted thinking. Where that's not possible, we can only ignore them.

[Dad2Brooke]

What a mean old b****.

I believe that I could not trust myself to confront her. I am afraid of what I would do to someone like that.

To be sweetness and light to you and your children during the holidays and then say something like that behind your back.

I hope you family let her have it for her hate filled views.

I do believe that there is a special place in hell for people of her ilk.

I would have nothing more to do with her.

[rosyred45]

How about people as nasty and mean spirited as her be sterilized ASAP.

I ain't a surgeon, but I will wield the scalpel for that one.
And, no anesthesia, with bodily pain, it'll go away eventually, but words hurt too.

Sorry, don't want to sink to her level, since fighting fire with fire probably woudn't work, it shows you who the bigger person is with the bigger heart. YOU DO!!

Kaiti

[Honeysmom]

I think Dad2Brooke said it pertectly she is a mean old you-know-what.

I don't want to make any excuses for her, but I am just curious how old she is. I can see something along those lines comming out of the mouth of a very old crabby person.

I admire the fact that you restrained yourself, I can see myself hauling out my stool (so I am tall enought to look other adults in the eye) and being a you-know-hwat about that one myself. I sometimes wonder where people get off thinking that we would like people with views that closed minded reporducing. I am glad you have the ability to "count to ten" because I don't know if I could've. Great job!! Becky ;D

Wait for you opportunity to confront her, you'll get your chance!

[mom2tj]

I cant beleive someone would say something like that... who does she think she is? Her words will haunt you for a long time but keep in mind that, In Gods eyes your sons is perfect and I'm sure he is in your eyes too. easy for me to say I know but dwelling on her meanness will do no good only give you anger, come pour your heart here and I hope you feel better.

P.S. I think ignorance should be consitered a disability !

[aimee30]

I am in shock too. Unfortunately there are closed minded people in this day and age. Keep your head up and just remember what a wonderful child you have.

[kstquilter]

i have to agree with all posts above. i can't believe anyone could possibly feel that way about any child. i'd much rather have kids like our than someone so mean to say things like that. as a rule, our kids tend to be very kind, generous people.
i'd probably have to confront this woman at some point in time but would try to do it when i'd calmed down enough to not go off the deep end. not that she doesn't deserve it but you tend to get your point across much better when you don't sound like a raving lunatic!
karen

[LitlBaa]

There are really some bitter people in the world, aren't there? I like the FIDO saying. If she's your ex's family, try to keep away from her. You don't need the negativity.

[HooDunnit]

I think that you have to love your "enemy" whoever or whatever that enemy might be. And it's the fact that they or it HAS transgressed you that makes them or it your enemy. But I don't think you have to love them in and of themselves, because quite clearly they are wrong or disordered. But you can love them in the sense of providing you with a spiritual opportunity.

Anyway, you son will make his own decsions when he grows up. The old coot will be gone, and so may we.

Barry

[SKay]

If you are offended by religion, don't read this.

We as human beings were created in God's image; that and His love for us give us our value, no matter what our disabilities are. God loves all humans and wants a relationship with each of so that woman doesn't have a right to place herself above Him to say those things.

Psalm 139:14 "I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

end of sermon

[sierra]

I sure hope that old biddy hasn't contributed anything to the gene pool. But the way things work she probably has 4 kids and 20 grandkids and they're all doing their dangedest to not grow up to be just like granny. And that probably burns her up more than anything.