They want him back on meds

[jenninae]

Hi, My son has been off meds since December. (He's 10). The school says he is unfocused, rushing his work, and his grades are affected. They never send home homework, so there is only so much help I can give him. I can't be at school with him all day long. Help. I am seriously considering home schooling. I mean how can a child who is in the gifted education program be getting D's and F's. How do I get them to think outside the pill bottle and try helping him stay focused?
Any ideas?

[Kaiti]

:-XWelcome to the family

I hoep that the school is trying everything that trhey can to do what is best. IF NOT< PUSH FURTHER.

Can I ask, how is he at home? My son, whom I don't medicate, is fine at home.....well, fine as kids can be.....anyhow. I can tolerate it. And I create an enviornment for him so that he can get out the craziness when it applies, but he still has to behave, focus, do chores, etc.

Our house is a bit hectic, so it suits us.

There are some memebers who's children are in gifted programs that might be able to help you more, mine, we'll I am just trying to get through 3rd grade.....he's smart adn I think gifted, but we don't have things around here like that.

Anyhow, welcome home and I hope you can get some answers here. Look around, ther are no dumb questions, they have already ben asked.


Can I ask for a back ground:
medication he was on? and why did you stop?
how long he was on it?
do you have a 504 or iep set up for him?

These are invaluable things that might help with the answers you are seeking
Take Care
Kaiti
What state are you in?

[Linda]

:)AND WELCOME!!! Why was your son taken off meds? You can be very gifted and still not be able to focus I like Kaiti would like more background too.

[mothercat]

I wish there was an easy answer to your problem..alot of us are going thru it. Medicating is a personal choice as to whether to do it or not. They say the same things about my son and personally I cant wait till next week to get his meds back...he is happier when he can focus in school. BUT that is my choice. Home schooling is great if you have the time to put into it. I wish I had done sometimes. My neice homeschooled her daughter until this year, she has to get a job so she put her in public school. Maybe instead of the gifted program they could mainstream your ds if you really dont want to medicate or get him a 504 . OR demand books get sent home.

[dawn]

Hi & welcome!

I just wanted to add here that by law a teacher/school cannot pressure a parent into giving meds. If you are unsure of your rights, try:

www.wrightslaw.com/

My daughter is on Omega 3 & other natural supplements & doing well & still improving. Check out the natural alternatives section if you are interested.

[Kaiti]

Thanks Dawn for that site!!!!!!!!

Your right, the schools cannot push it......and I hate to say it , but they can make it difficult otherwise So we need to fight for what we get when we get it.

[Linda]

One of the schools that I worked at pushed it to the point that a couple of teachers took the parents to court!!!

Everyone is right though....you have to push really hard sometimes to get what your child deserves and has the right too.

[finnmom]

:)Jenninae and welcome to our online family.

I agree with other´s, to medicate or not, is only your decision, no one can push you on to med´s just keep in mind that you know your child best and you are his only advocate, so push hard on the school to change their way of theaching him They need to work with you more, in order to help your ds better.

[jenninae]

First, I want to say thank you to everyone who has replied so far. I took my son off his meds (I am a certified psych nurse) because I could not tell the difference in a day he had his pill and a day he didn't. He would kick and scream and throw a fit when I wanted him to take his pills. Then he started cheeking his meds. For the most part, at home he is fine. He still has problems on the days he is tired or ill (in fact that is usually the only symptom he has when he is sick). He has come to learn his limitations and he usually knows when he needs time to himself. He does have a bit of ODD and can be a bit hateful when he doesn't get his way, but that has become rare with behavior modification. When he does bring homework home, we make the room as distraction free as possible and I sit with him (or close) to keep him on task. If he rushes through it he knows I will have him redo it (to follow directions, make it legible etc), so for the most part he just does it right the first time.
As far as what meds we tried...it would be easier to tell you what he wasn't on. he has taken everything from Ritalin to Risperdal and been diagnosed with ADHD, Bipolar disorder, ODD, OCD, and at one point major depression (later they said it was bipolar). I really am not sure any of them are correct besides the ADHD.
When I asked for help from the schools 5 years ago they said because "it does not affect him academically", they could not help me. I don't know how they can say it isn't affecting his academics when they aren't even able to test him to his full potential (they can only test to a preset level based on grades). I am so frustrated with the whole system at this point.
Do I have time to home school? Not sure. I work 36 hours a week, but it is in 3 12 hour shifts on weekend nights, so I have Monday through Thursday completely off.
Sorry this is so long. There are just a lot of questions to answer.

[tridlette]

Welcome to my life!

I have sooooo much information I could give you on the gifted underachiever. I am the parent of 3 of them. I am now homeschooling (cyber schooling, actually) the 6th and 8th grader. Part of the ODD symptoms that effected my 10th grader I am now convinced were puberty problems.

But the gifted underachiever is perhaps the most frustrating of students. It isn't you! It isn't him! It is the system.

Yes, you can homeschool, especially on 36 for 40 weekend schedule! I will have to go looking in the boxes upstairs for the info you need, but here's the gist of it! Figure out how many hours exist in one week. Then, count in your work time, commute time, extracurricular time, meal prep, housecleaning, volunteer work, personal care time, etc... for an average week. If you have 30 hours left over, you are good to homeschool. There are several states that now have cyber~schools or virtual academies that make life easier and give you accountability to a higher power~ all while being "public" schools that will earn an actual diploma! The program I use is very rigorous and challenging, even for my gifted kids! Most parents at school outings complain that the program is too advanced in science, but we love science here, and are thoroughly enjoying the courses and experiments!

Take a look at www.hoagiesgifted.org I consider this THE #1 site for all things "gifted" including the wonderful ADHD/gifted stuff. It has a lot of info and links to other info on the "gifted underachiever" and ideas for homeschooling the gifted student. You will be much better prepared for the unique experiences of raising a child with these various differences!

I hope we can be of help to you. I'm glad you found us!

Laurie

[AnneM]

I am so glad to see Trid replied ... I was reading this thread a little while ago BEFORE Trid replied and I was thinking "Trid!! Where are you ?? You are the lady for this thread!" ....

I cannot offer any practical advice myself because my son is NOT gifted - he is "Mr Average" .... but I sure can say that with Trid you are talking to the RIGHT person here!!

[finnmom]

Trid hit the nail right on the head, again, WAY TO GO TRID

I think you really should try homeschooling if you feel you will have the time for that. Sound´s like you have your ds life going rather smoothly at home and problem´s only occur at school The averadge school-system is not the best for gifted (with some scpecial thing) they just dont know how to react to these kid´s need´s

I wish you all the luck and strength to try this out, look around for what Trid told you and think about it.

[TexasMom]

My Steven qualified for an IEP even though he wasn't suffering in the grade department because he wasn't living up to his potential. (He's tested hi IQ). If the school wants your son to be on medicated, it sounds like it's affecting him academically. Can you get an advocate to help you?

[jenninae]

I had a meeting with his teacher yesterday. She was amazingly more supportive than I expected. I mentioned the idea of home schooling and she was all for it. She even offered to get information on curriculums for me. She admitted that he is probably just bored in her class. It was the principal who wanted to push the meds. Anyway, she is going to try to get creative with his assignments to keep his attention and I am going to look for home schooling curriculums. Overall, it wasn't a bad meeting........this time. But, they still won't do anything formal like and IEP. I don't know if I want to keep pushing or not if he is only going to be there for this semester. I guess it is time to fish or cut bait with the home schooling thing.

[tridlette]

Jenninae... let me know if I can help you find anything with the curriculum. I use a virtual program from www. k12.com

It is just one of many. If you are going to build your own, look at
www.rainbowresource.com
it is an 1100 page (FREE) catalog that has darn near every possible resource and curriculum... reviewed individually. They are a religious home school family, but most of the books available are non~religious based. I only mention this, because, as you start to navigate your way into the world of home school, you will find there are two distinct types of HS families... those that are at home for religious freedom, and those that are home for educational freedom.

You can also check rainbow for supplemental stuff for him, if you choose to leave him in the school system. Again, I recommend looking at the hoagiesgifted website for other ideas for supplementing!

BEST WISHES... it is like the army... the toughest job you'll ever love! And a bad day at homeschool is always better than a bad day in a brick and mortar school!