Crying and Screaming when overwhelmed

[Rainbow]

Dear Friends,

Our son had his first major meltdown (as we've always referred to them) last night. This was 2 hours after he had received some information about some changes that will be happening as my husband opens a second business in a town 20 minutes away.
Our son was on the internet and stumbled onto some remote controlled airplanes. At bedtime he refused to move away from the computer, so dad helped him (gently lifting and then pushing with support) upstairs to his room. Our son proceeded to cry/scream for an hour about how 'I want that airplane!'
I entered his room several times to tell him I understood his feelings of being overwhelmed and confused.
When he starts to yell for 'mom' we know that I can enter and he is ready to talk - which we did. And then he went to sleep.

Anyone else experiencing these situations? I'm still wondering if he has a learning disability where he can't fully process information, and then he gets frustrated and overwhelmed with confusion and doesn't know what to do. But we haven't heard back from the school psychologist yet.

Rainbow

[MsMizchief]

Hi Rainbow!

Yes, my DD (age 7) does that constitantly when she is off her med (meaning every evening) if I ask her to go to bed, clean up her dishes, hang up her coat she throws herself on the floor crying and screaming. By the time she is in her room she hates me, her room, her dog, her step dad, her sister, the stars the moom, etc.. and bangs her headboard against the wall. (once our neighbors asked if we were playing basketball in our house). A few times I have waited for her head to start spinning like in those horror films. I wish I had some advice, but I just try my best not to run to her room to calm her down as I am trying to teach her how to do it herself.

Wish you luck and patience!

[kstquilter]

sorry, i thought you were referring to us parents at first!!
my experience with dd hasn't been the meltdowns as much as change in any form can be difficult. i know we are all aware that schedules are important for our kids, etc. but sometimes we forget how hard change can be, especially when it's out of their control. they don't understand exactly what it will mean to them. then by evening theirs meds are gone too and you are just asking for problems.
maybe if you keep referring to whatever changes are coming and say that you have concerns or how you plan to handle the changes so he understands this affects everyone. and that you also have to find ways to make things work, he'll be willing to talk instead of scream. especially if you can do this during a time he's on meds when he might be able to focus better as well.
karen

[milesofsmiles]

I don't know if your son is on meds, but our son could be an emotional mess, with the littlest things setting him off. Sometimes it was rage, and sometimes he just would not get something out of his mind, similiar to what you described. At the times of these meltdowns, he was on a medication that was either too strong, or not strong enough.

I definately feel for you, as we have had lots of nights that we are confused and usually end up acting just as unreasonable has him. Don't kids bring out the best and worst in us?

Miles

[Rainbow]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for your responses, I see I didn't provide as much information as I probably should have.

Our son is 11 yrs old and had received a previous diagnosis 2 yrs ago of ODD (oppositionally defiant disorder).

We've learned a lot since then. In the last 9 months he has also been on 2 mood stabilizers, which with the latest increase of dosage are working well - Trileptal and Abilify.

We have also learned by now when to tell him things and when not to. Like a vacation weekend won't be told to him until right before we leave, because he gets so anxious to 'kill the time' that he can't concentrate on anything else.

My husband wouldn't have been telling him this news except that our intelligent son was at his dad's business afterschool and was hearing all kinds of conversations, so he felt that he had to tell him.

It's been a long week, with lots of things going on. The one thing, I feel we do pretty well is to leave him alone until his 'meltdown/rage' is back under his control.

Rainbow

[Kaiti]

Welcome Rainbow, I'm so sorry to see that you are going through this.

I don't personally know alot abotu ODD, but have heard enough to know that you are doing very well letting his rage get out until you try to deal with the situation. Good job there.

I think that when I try to deal with my kids or any kids, I put myself in the childs point of view....or try to think of a similar situation that I have been through to gauge how they feel. That helps me answer the kids or the behaviors that they are going through.

I think that if I were you, I would ask why he was so upset about being told he had to go to bed. Point out that going to bed has nothing to do with getting the airplanes. He can always go back to the site to see them, or do another search and look at them.

Since I am not all that familiar with ODD, I am assuming that your son is headstrong. Not meaning in a bad way, I get that way as well.....very determined to get what he sees in his heart what he wants and the way he wants it.

Could you fill us in a little more on how your son is?

Take Care
Kaiti