Hi, New Here

[melody]

Hi everyone, I am new here, and see that I have many of the same issues as other parents here so am making an intro thread rather than try to explain it all in each of the other intro threads (which was what I started to do in saying hi to others, lol). I am Melody, and am the 37 year old divorced Mom of three children. Jordan is 14, Emma is 7, and Noah is 4. My oldest son has ADHD and is on Adderall XR 40mg. He is just finishing up his last year of middle school and I have had the hardest time with the school system. I had tried talking him into homeschooling thinking that it would take out all of that bringing items home from school and losing things, but he is very social and didn't want to be away from all of the other kids. When I first went to the school for help, they too pretty much turned me away, my son was really struggling gradewise, not in gradeschool but in middle school and actually all of his life had been told it was all behavioral. He was not diagnosed as ADHD until this year after a year of counseling and finally telling me "you don't understand, I did try, I really did try, I can't explain it". The counselor thought maybe he was depressed, but to me he did not fit the questions relating to depression and so she sent me the questions on ADHD and he fit so many, it honestly had never entered my head before that. All through gradeschool I was told, he could get straight A's easily if he just applied himself and paid attention, but not one teacher ever suggested that it was something beyond his control. I really wish that I had realized what was going on sooner, but it was not something I had any experience with. My son did not qualify for an IEP through the school system because he does not test below grade level in any classes and in Oregon IEP is used for special education and classes taught at a lower level. He did qualify for a 504 plan after much effort on my part and it finally got put into place a month or so ago and now will follow him through High School. The problem I find now is that not all of the teachers are really good at following it. I am just so frustrated with the school system that I can hardly stand it. I think that they would just as soon allow a child to fail and flunk out of school than to take the extra effort that is needed to help them to succeed. I came here looking for support not just with the school areas, but also with his impulsiveness and outbursts which just frustrate me to no end. It helps just knowing that that is also a part of the ADHD, but not when I am in the middle of it. I worry an awful lot for his future as he enters High School and peer pressure and I just want to be able to help him in the best way I can. I look forward to finding the time to look around more on the board and getting to know you all.

[camismom]

Hello Melody and welcome to the "family" ! You said you came here looking for support and I promise you you found it here! There is no better place to look!

First of all let me just say you need to stop knocking yourself about never seeing the signs of the ADHD before. Heck, until I started working at a school, I had never heard of it myself. And many of the other " Disorders" I read about on this site I had never heard of before I saw them here. The important thing is, you now have a dx and a 504 and you can move on.

As far as you being frustrated with the school system.... you and I will get along great there! Although I work for a school system myself, I am not a big fan of the educational part of it (I'm in a administative type job, lol). You will find yourself constantly fighting to make sure the 504 is followed, but never give up the fight. It is LAW that they follow it, so remind them of that whenever you need to. We jokingly refer to ourselves as witches around here and many of us have our own hat and broom we will loan out until you get your own.

You will have years when your son's teachers are all wonderful, and you will have years when they won't be. You will have times when just one sticks out as the thorn. Just fight them all you have to and don't be afraid. Your son's success will depend on it.

Fish around here because there is a wealth of information to help you with whatever topic you need. And stick around..... because we are truly a supportive family here!

[melody]

Thanks for the welcome Christy. I appreciate it.

[amcfanny]

Hi Melody...welcome to the board...isn't it nice to find someplace where you can just let it all hang out.

[camismom]

melody said:

Thanks for the welcome Christy. I appreciate it.

You are quite welcome!

[finnmom]

Hello Melody and welcome to our online family, you´ll sure find the support and understanding from here as we all have done.