aaa-alison
Member
"Hold on if you feel like letting go-hold on it gets better than you know"-Good Charlotte
Posts: 84
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Post by aaa-alison on Mar 24, 2004 10:04:18 GMT -5
This is an awesome book I read on ADD stuff-It is called ADHD and Romance-I forget who wrote it but I read it at Borders. Very telling. Written from the perspective of an ADHD adult and his relationship successes and woes. Good reading for Add adult and their partner.
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Post by HooDunnit on Apr 11, 2004 18:43:14 GMT -5
Hi Alison. Thanks for mentioning that book. As a bookseller, I like to hear those sorts of things. I think I have seen that book / had it on my bookshelf. But it wasn't on the bookshelf for long.
Can you tell us what you learned from it? How should an ADD / ADHD person approach romance?
Barry
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aaa-alison
Member
"Hold on if you feel like letting go-hold on it gets better than you know"-Good Charlotte
Posts: 84
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Post by aaa-alison on Apr 19, 2004 7:11:28 GMT -5
How should an Add person respond to Romance. Barry, you gave me a challenge this morning, but I like challenges so here goes.
1. Be true to yourself
2. Find ways to love yourself. You are special and wonderful and worth it.
3. Be very kind and loving to yourself-that will help your spouse be more kind and loving to you. If you always are having a problem with yourself and complaining about what is wrong with you, then you are giving your spouse permission to criticize you too.
4. Laugh together about ADD funny stuff that happens
5. Learn how to laugh at yourself- this relieves the stress of messing up-once again.
6. Know when to be serious about an error and when to laugh it off. The difference is this. When your spouse comes to you pissed off about something you did be serious about it-really try to listen-repeat back what they are saying to you. Say you will work on it. Ask them to help you work on it. I have a tendency to joke about sex too much and innappropriately-I told my husband why I do it and I asked him-cause he was and is still really pissed at me about it-to say "Alison"-when I am about to go to far. Works well. I gave him the permission and he helps me to not piss him off and come off like a very *friendly* person to others. Pretty cool.
7. Most of all. Be honest. Know the reasons why you did things and tell your spouse-no matter what. Then they can truly love you and you can truly love yourself. Sometimes the reasons why I do stuff are so simple-I felt claustrophobic-so I opened all the windows to let in air-and forgot to close them. I felt tired-so I took a nap at three in the afternoon till 6. I felt depressed because of my anger towards my mom-so I did not do my work or make the calls I was supposed to.
I'll post more later-Love Alison
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