Adult with ADHD

[Aurelia]

Hi! I'm a 33 yr old woman who got diagnosed with ADHD just this past summer. I'm just looking for a place I can understand what's all going on.

I have a counsellor at the college, got a couple books to help understand but I still feel alone and confused sometimes.

Plus I have depression and my psychiatrist thinks possibly General Anxiety Disorder as well as PCOS.

I'm just looking for some peace right now. So thought I'd join up and say hi!


Linda

[sweety]

:)Welcome!!! I am an adult with ADHD combined. On antidepressant, antianxiety, and adhd meds. It's tough but don't let anyone get you down. I come from a long line of ADHDers. My husband is non adhd and has trouble sometimes understanding my daughter and I but he tries. Remember, structure, planning and order help considerably. This is a great Bullitin board so read and learn. I have learned a lot a lot and have gotten a great deal of support here.
Welcome again!!!

[Aurelia]

Thanks for the warm welcome!

I don't have a husband or kids but I'm living at home with my folks while I go to college. I just couldn't manage my finances but I'm learning. My mom is the only one I talk to about it and she doesn't believe in counselling or any of that stuff so its hard, I dont' really have any support there. My brother, the nurse, doesn't care what issues I have, I just have to be strong willed. My dad is too old world to believe in mental/emotional issues and wouldn't understand if I tried to explain it to him.

My friends love and support me but can't help with the underlying issues. So I just have to figure it out for myself.

[eaccae]

Welcome Aurelia!

I am 36, have ADD (without the H), have battled mild depression on and off my whole life, suffer from general anxiety disorder AND social anxiety, and am having a nightmare time with PCOS!!!

I know what you are going through!

[songwriter]

Linda- Gretings!
I'm 42, Adhd, with anxiety issues. I wasnt diagnosed until about a year ago. Dont get in a hurry trying to figure this whole thing out-
It seems the more I study these things, the deeper the water gets. I take comfort, though, in knowing that I'm not the only one trying to stay afloat!

[rosyred45]

Aurelia, welcome Home.

I'm the one that knows I have something, but doesn't take the time to do anything because I have to deal with my family

But when I get a minute........yeah right.

Anyhow, there is so much I have learned about my self as I have started this journey because of my son. I just thought I was lazy, unorganized, not motivated, self centered.......

You know the list. BUT I deal with things my was as everyone else deals with things their way. Some medicate, some don't, some adjust diet, some take the natural route with herbs and vitamins.

You are welcome here anytime you want. My mom, the school teacher told me I wasn't being strict enough on Mikey until she realized that I was doing what she was doing with me.......and I turned out pretty decent. :Dat least my husband says so

Come around when ever, post as much as you like, the more you post the more likely you are to become addicted, so I hope you stay for a while

Take care, adn I already asked all of the stupid questions, but if I missed any, a memeber who is TRIDLETTE has asked the rest ;D
Kaiti

[Aurelia]

Thanks for the welcome guys! I think I have found a home!!

It's hard trying to understand one aspect of yourself but when multiple things are going on it just gets more complicated. It's good to know there are others and we can all help each other through it all.

Thanks Elizabeth! I have read that ADHD/ADD can and usually is present with other conditions but for a while there I thought I was really screwed up having SO much to deal with.

I think part of my problems are that I'm trying to pin point that one thing that is impacting on my life and if I can find it and figure out how to deal with it then I can fix it and my life will all be better! And right now I am dealing with the loss of dreams, the way I wanted my life to turn out, struggling with college and having little support from the people I expect should be there for me. I've been struggling just to get by but for me that isn't enough.

But now I think I just have to stop playing detective, trying to find the culprit who's been sabatoging my life, and just live it, one day at a time, mindful of the future and past but not bound in their shackles.

Thanks all for the warm welcome!! I plan to come as often as I can. Right now I need a place of sanity I'm not finding in RL.

[finnmom]

:)Aurelia and welcome.
I knw you´ll find the support from here, just vent away. I admire your will of trying to make your life better, it´s hard without support from the one´s you love, but you´ll make it

You´r right on focusing to make it better for you rather than looking for the quilty part, that´s the way.

[sweety]

:)You can't tackle every problem at the same time. This is a very complex condition with lots of facets. I wish for a lot of things and have had some dissappointments myself too but you have to get past them and get on with the world. ADHDers are creative, exploring,think outside of the box type folks. I'm 4th generation in my family and we all have a bad case of the "what ifs?" What if I climb to the top of this tower? What if i ride on the hood of a pickup down the sidewalk at 2a.m. with my friends singing (did that in college) Thomas Edison has been described as "the poster boy for ADHD" Look at all the things he accomplished.

Yes people are going to let you down but if they let you down that bad you don't need them anyway.

When you need to study in college, write down every night how much you studied that day. I had a terrible time studying until I FORCED myself to study every night. Sometimes it took me 5 hours to get 3 hours of studying in but it got me through nursing school.

I can't balance a checkbook but have on line banking and let the bank do it for me.

It sounds like your family just doesn't want to "deal" with the diagnosis. Find friends at college that are ADHD. They don't want to acknowledge that you have "differences" If there isn't a group (ask your counselor) start one of your own. Put a sign up (may be in the counseling center) . "ADHD? Lets meet in the cafeteria tuesday at noon!" or something similar. Other people have ideas and things to share.

Take each day as it comes and glory in your acomplishments. If I dwelled on all of the things I forget, the people I've irritated or the impulsive things I've done I would be a wreck. This is a very comforting positive bullitin board that will help you
Take much Care

[sweety]

::)Messed up one of the paragraphs in the above message. (a good example of my uniqueness)If your family doesn't want to deal with your uniqueness, find friends that do. Ask your counselor. Start a support group of your own. Sometimes it's tough just jumping out there but remember "WE are explorers, adventurers, pioneers!" What would the world be like if Columbus hadn't thought about the world being round or Thomas Edison saying "What if electricity could cause light?" or Robin Williams saying 'What if I talk in this funny alien voice? (remember Mork from Ork?) The world would be a very boring place if there weren't the "what if" people in it.

[Aurelia]

Thanks for the welcome all!

I think I got lucky. When I saw the Garfield background I was gonna move on, mostly because the rolling of the page parts over the background was a bit iritating to my eyes (need my glasses fixed).

I have a friend who fought leukemia last year and that is what brought me to a counsellor at the school and eventually to the psychological testing that revealed the ADHD. She looked for a while before she found a forum that was what she could call home. Her parents and other friends wouldn't understand but she knew I'd understand when she said that even though we were all great and she could talk to all of us, she needed to talk to ppl who really understood. People who went through the same ordeal as she did. That is what prompted me to look for a board where I could be with others who did understand.

I think with my family its not that they dont' want to deal with it, its that they dont know how. My mom is terribly depressed and I suggest a counsellor and she is almost horrified at the thought of discussing feelings. My dad doens't believe in them. My brother is a hard worker and feels that all I need is hard work. He's used to the selfish confused angry teenager I'll never live down. I dont' discuss it with him because i get no emotional support and our dealings, unless they are just visits, can be very demoralizing and painful for me.

Thanks Sweety about the school advice! I have been so upset lately that things are taking me so much longer than I anticipate or what the rest of the class is doing (little diff sure but hours and hours, I was getting really depressed).

[rosyred45]

DID YOU STEAL MY FAMILY

My mom, the school teacher has just started to realize the impact of taking the kids for that of which they are.

I hear exactly what you are saying.

I have worked with School Age Child Care since 1992, before that I worked in a private daycare. I have seen kdis grow into adults and sometimes it's funny.

The most hope I have is for my kids that are dx'd, not because they are dx'd but because of what they accomplish

Keep reaching for your stars.

[Aurelia]

rosyred45 said:

DID YOU STEAL MY FAMILY

I have enough trouble with 1 family, lol, I'm not likely to try and mouch off more

[tridlette]

Sorry it took so long to take rosyred45's bait! YES, she asks the dumb questions, but I reserve the right to ask the REALLY dumb ones!

What is PCOS? ( it is probably defined somewhere here and I just can't think of it right now, but I do get to ask my questions!)

As for stealing her family... I call dibs on her DH... he gives a killer back rub! (sorry again, Kaiti, but you know it's true!)

I also have ADD, minus the H, and have one son dx'd, another that should be... I don't take meds anymore... took too much effort to remember to take mine, call for the refill, give the kids theirs, run a house, get out of bed in the morning, etc!

Your family might not understand, a lot of us have that problem. My mother is of the mind set that if I would only make a plan and stick to it...

DH is literally a rocket scientist... Lord help him for dealing with me and our boys! Talk about organized... I think I caught him putting his $1 bills in serial number order!

Going back to college at our age isn't easy for anyone, and doing it with ADHD is tough. Most profs. think that "older" or "non-traditional" students have "it" together. If they only would realize that we are just like the high school graduates with additional life problems too.

Don't beat yourself up, you are in a good hearted place. We really support each other (except Kaiti a.k.a. Rosyred45 and I... we are MEAN to each other LOL... we are face-to-face friends)

I hope we can help you. Ask any thing you want. Welcome HOME!

Laurie

[Aurelia]

Its been a while since I've been back here myself. The focus of 6th semester is a huge computer project from scratch we make for a company. Its brutal!

PCOS is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It comes with a lot of symptoms like missed periods, facial hair (thank god I didnt' get that one!!!), baldness (ditto here!), obesity (got but not sure if its from this) and sometimes, though not always, cysts on the ovaries.

'PCOS is the most common hormonal disturbance among premenopausal women. It is the leading cause of infertility due to lack of ovulation.'
from www.verity-pcos.org.uk/what_is_pcos.html

We also have a higher risk of diabetes, insulin resistance (which I have), heart disease, high blood pressure and I thought I read somewhere depression.

Actually some sites report that 1 in 5 women have this but its often misdiagnosed. I never knew until I started missing my periods. Acne, trouble losing weight, facial hair, baldness...I don't know if many doctors would take these symptoms serious enough to look for a cause.

Especially weight, this is a delicate issue for me. My father thinks if he insults me that he'll sting my pride and I'll lose weight to prove I can do it. My mother always tells me how beautiful I would be, if only I was thin. My brother never said anything to me directly but my mom told me he showed her a picture of me when I was young and slim and asked her what happened. My doctor keeps telling me to lose weight and I can tell she's not happy I haven't lost weight. Plus my counsellor told me that hording food is a sign of sexual abuse in a child which did happen to me so having PCOS which has symptom of obesity and insulin resistance makes the whole weight thing confusing to say the least.

So many symptoms and so little time to figure them all out. I think I have to return to my old mindset: look at my life, focus on the good, if there is something I don't like can I live with it or do I want to change it? If I want to change it then look for a way to do it. I think sometimes when you get in deep with symptoms and conditions and meds and specialists you can get swamped and drown in a sea of confusion, pain and uncertainty.

What I really need is a break. I've worked/schooled none stop since last year christmas. My job at the school gives extra hours on weeks students are off and I work all summer as well. I think I need a week off to relax and readjust, get to know myself again so I can understand and deal with the new parts of me I've only just discovered. Even if I can't get away someplace, though some time from my family would be grand, time to myself, focusing only on myself would be so sweet.