SKay
Member Emeritus
Posts: 1,126
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Post by SKay on Jun 10, 2005 17:21:41 GMT -5
Today was DS's annual checkup. It took the dr a couple minutes to get him to understand how to do a hearing test (raise finger when you hear a beep; lower it when beep stops). The results said his hearing is ok so the dr is concerned about an auditory processing problem since he had trouble understanding how to do the test. He gave me info for him to get a free evaluation through the public school system. I'm waiting until Monday so DH can be involved. I just hope he finally will agree to get help for DS.
The interesting thing was that I was considering whether to ask about an ADD evaluation which the dr and I had discussed before. I didn't even get to bring it up because the dr brought this up first and didn't seem to remember that we had discussed ADD in the past. Once he mentioned the possibility of a LD then I asked about ADD. The dr didn't seem to think that's the problem (What? you mean I've spent all this time at this message board for nothing? ;D) DH had already planned to go out to eat for a " Date" tonight so we will have time to disuss this then. We'll see what happens.
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Post by kurs10b on Jun 10, 2005 19:42:59 GMT -5
My husband was very reluctant to admit anything was wrong with son. I just went on my own for the appointments and things. Once the kid was on meds and you could see a big difference he said "oh yeah, maybe there is some kind of problem". Duh!
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SKay
Member Emeritus
Posts: 1,126
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Post by SKay on Jun 11, 2005 9:19:25 GMT -5
I was really tempted to go on my own to see about an evaluation, but then decided I'd wait until I talked to DH one more time. When DH and I first started discussing this last night, he was really reluctant. He says things like "That's the way I was; I just didn't pay attention" as though that's ok. Or "He does ok if it's something he's interested in." I try telling him he's describing ADD perfectly, but it doesn't work. I think he just hopes that it will all work out ok on it's own. Well, yes, he made it through school, but he was held back one grade (says it was because of having his tonsils out) and had to have a tutor to make it.
I think he finally realized I want to do this evaluation. I think it's really going to happen this time. (I've thought this before, though.) I am hoping to call someone Monday to get things started.
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Post by Linda on Jun 11, 2005 10:47:02 GMT -5
I was really tempted to go on my own to see about an evaluation, but then decided I'd wait until I talked to DH one more time. When DH and I first started discussing this last night, he was really reluctant. He says things like "That's the way I was; I just didn't pay attention" as though that's ok. Or "He does ok if it's something he's interested in." I try telling him he's describing ADD perfectly, but it doesn't work. I think he just hopes that it will all work out ok on it's own. Well, yes, he made it through school, but he was held back one grade (says it was because of having his tonsils out) and had to have a tutor to make it. I think he finally realized I want to do this evaluation. I think it's really going to happen this time. (I've thought this before, though.) I am hoping to call someone Monday to get things started. I think a lot of dads are in denial. They prefer to think their kid is just a boy ;D They need to know it is soooo hereditary. |
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Post by Amsmom on Jun 11, 2005 11:31:38 GMT -5
 yay skay!!!!!! you go girl!!!!  we are all here for you!!! 
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Post by finnmom on Jun 11, 2005 12:49:43 GMT -5
GO ON SKAY, it´s about time to know what actually is going on with your ds, finding out is thew only way o start helping him. Tell dad to relax, his son will still be the same, you (and school)might be more able to help him |
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Post by kurs10b on Jun 11, 2005 13:06:19 GMT -5
My kid definately gets the ADHD from dad as well as the impulse and anger problems. Dad just doesnt want to admit that there is something wrong with him too.
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Post by camismom on Jun 11, 2005 21:26:01 GMT -5
I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you Skay! Have you ever tried leaving pamphlets and such about ADHD laying around for your husband to read. He may not read it in front of you, but I bet he would sneak reading them. Curiosity gets the best of us all. Maybe seeing it in print... the classic symptoms of ADHD listed.... will make him think as he recognizes himself and his son in what he reads.... and this he is doing in his own time, without pressure.
Just a sneaky suggestion. hehe
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Post by AnneM on Jun 13, 2005 12:00:19 GMT -5
Skay !! I also have to say that SOOOOOOO often my dh says about Sam "I was JUST like that when I was his age" ... !!  ADD/ADHD is HUGELY hereditary .... and APPARENTLY the most COMMON (but not exclusive!) hand-down is from father to son... (This is apparently MORE common than from mother to son or from father to daughter ... but again I reiterate it is NOT exclusively so!! ... just "more common") From where I am standing my dh is DEFINITELY an undiagnosed add'er ... My son is a " Diagnosed" add'er ... (by virtue of being born later when these things were properly diagnosed and recognised) .... Strangely when my son was diagnosed my dh put his "hands up" and said "That's me too !" ... and has come to recognise that in himself .... (However, I hasten to add that although he is very supportive of Sam and the treatment we have pursued he has NOT and I don't think EVER WILL seek help for himself for ADD ... !!) The "turning point" for my dh by the way was when I and the psych INSISTED that he should be AT THE MEETING upon diagnosis .... At the time dh said "I am way too busy at work" etc. but our Doctor INSISTED that he should be there ... so DH took a day off work and it "changed his view COMPLETELY! ... " That psych was wonderful .. by the time she had finished talking DH was "putty in her hands" and was admitting that he felt it was all a "waste of time until I came here today ... and "now I see things completely differently!" .... SO.... in this long-winded way I am saying try to GET YOUR DH involved and to go along with you and LISTEN to the doctors..... GOOD LUCK!! |
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Post by AnneM on Jun 13, 2005 12:00:49 GMT -5
Skay !! I also have to say that SOOOOOOO often my dh says about Sam "I was JUST like that when I was his age" ... !! ADD/ADHD is HUGELY hereditary .... and APPARENTLY the most COMMON (but not exclusive!) hand-down is from father to son... (This is apparently MORE common than from mother to son or from father to daughter ... but again I reiterate it is NOT exclusively so!! ... just "more common") From where I am standing my dh is DEFINITELY an undiagnosed add'er ... My son is a " Diagnosed" add'er ... (by virtue of being born later when these things were properly diagnosed and recognised) .... Strangely when my son was diagnosed my dh put his "hands up" and said "That's me too !" ... and has come to recognise that in himself .... (However, I hasten to add that although he is very supportive of Sam and the treatment we have pursued he has NOT and I don't think EVER WILL seek help for himself for ADD ... !!) The "turning point" for my dh by the way was when I and the psych INSISTED that he should be AT THE MEETING upon diagnosis .... At the time dh said "I am way too busy at work" etc. but our Doctor INSISTED that he should be there ... so DH took a day off work and it "changed his view COMPLETELY! ... " That psych was wonderful .. by the time she had finished talking DH was "putty in her hands" and was admitting that he felt it was all a "waste of time until I came here today ... and "now I see things completely differently!" .... SO.... in this long-winded way I am saying try to GET YOUR DH involved and to go along with you and LISTEN to the doctors..... GOOD LUCK!! |
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SKay
Member Emeritus
Posts: 1,126
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Post by SKay on Jun 13, 2005 16:30:45 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]I DID IT[/glow]
We couldn't get an appointment until Aug. 8; I hope I don't chicken out before then. There will be 4 appts.--one will be 3 hours long. I am sooooo scared. I guess I'm afraid that we will go through all this time, effort, and money and still not have much help if any for DS. Or disagree with the drs. and be back to square one. But I'll never know unless I try.
Anne thanks for your post because 2 of the appts. are for the parents only and I don't know whether DH will go or not. I'll see what I can do. I dread this all sooo much. I may be coming here a lot because I don't think there are people around here who will understand. I do have a couple of cousins whose kids have been diagnosed ADD and dyslexic so I may talk to them.
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Post by Linda on Jun 13, 2005 20:13:46 GMT -5
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Post by finnmom on Jun 13, 2005 23:18:44 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]GOOD LUCK SKAY[/glow] ´ Please, do come here when ever you want, we know how frightening this process can be, waiting is the worst part of it  But you´ve made a good start now
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Post by camismom on Jun 14, 2005 10:45:28 GMT -5
You made the first step, and it's always the hardest. I wish you nothing but luck with this.
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SKay
Member Emeritus
Posts: 1,126
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Post by SKay on Jul 5, 2005 20:17:16 GMT -5
Yesterday we were at a July 4 celebration when someone asked DS if he wanted to enter the firecracker kid contest. The contest involved answering a few questions. DS replied that he's not good at answering questions. Sometimes I think he's clueless, but when he answered that way, I knew that he knows he's got little a problem in that area. Anyway, the person convinced him to go ahead and try by asking him a simple question: what are the colors of the American flag. Later, when he was being interviewed, he was asked where he goes to school. He said "I don't go to school; I go to sports day camp." He takes things too literally sometimes--just because school is not in session right now, he says he doesn't go to school. He just shrugged his shoulders when asked what the 4th of July means to him. I feel bad that we let him go through that interview. Neither DH nor I are good at impromptu things like that either. DS has been discouraged because he didn't win. We tried to encourage him in other ways. He did a couple of really polite things that day (including complementing one of the other boys on doing a good job with the interview) which we felt was more important than winning anyway. I don't think our attempts at encouragement helped much, though.
Anyway, I'm looking forward now to getting this evaluation done--I hope we can get some answers. BTW, we've talked to a couple people with knowledge of disabilities, and I am more encouraged than ever in doing this.
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