|
|
Post by catseye on Jan 4, 2005 9:23:44 GMT -5
I am probably off base here, my emotions are high and raw lately.... BUT I am ticked none the less  ... Sd had 3 pages of homework to do last night, they werent long or hard or anything.... When I asked sd if she had homework, she said yes, and if they dont turn it in the next day they have to stand by the wall at school.... EXCUSE ME!?!? Shouldnt the "punishment" be the bad grade? NOT making the child (who at this point homework is more on the parents isnt it?) stand out in the hall by the wall? Am I wrong that homework at 9 years old (and a struggling kid mind you), is more the parents responcibility? So in effect if we hadnt done homework, sd would be punished for my not looking or asking or helping? Or do kids as early as 9 really DO homework on their own normally? I think I am losing touch with what is normal for a child anymore... I dont have a clue, where sd should be stepping up... Maybe I am enabling her too much? Maybe I dont give her enough credit? OH I just dont know anymore!  cat |
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Jan 4, 2005 9:47:54 GMT -5
It hasn't happened to you has it cat? I hope not I hate this...I have seen it at the schools where I have worked and it pi@@@@ me off  If it ever happens to you put up a real stink....standing in the hall against the wall is NOT a learning invironment You are doing all you can do cat and you are a fantastic mom...don't forget that....KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED  |
|
|
|
Post by catseye on Jan 4, 2005 9:56:00 GMT -5
No it hasnt happened to us yet, luckily I was sickest when no homework was comming home (dh STINKS at taking care of sd in homework department he just doesnt think about it)... Apparently sd's best friend, who has asperbergers, has received this punishment though...
In fact on sd's report card, homework was one of her highest marks! YIIIPPPEEE
cat
|
|
|
|
Post by franksmom on Jan 4, 2005 22:51:05 GMT -5
This happen to my son...not for homework but for being disruptive and distracting the other kids in class. I found it to be very degrading and it pis****ed me off too. Kids made fun of my son as they passed in the hallway and it did nothing for his already non existant self esteem. In some ways Im greatful we are on homebound right now ( time to heal) because with this type of treatment he certainly will not do better in school.
|
|
|
|
Post by TexasMom on Jan 4, 2005 23:02:38 GMT -5
GOD
|
|
|
|
Post by Allanque on Jan 4, 2005 23:37:38 GMT -5
They made me give up my recess to do my homework. I couldn't even go play when it was done. Then they wondered why i was dissecting pens and not paying attention... |
|
|
|
Post by StrugglingAgain on Jan 6, 2005 10:03:59 GMT -5
OH BOY, have you hit a nerve here! I totally agree that all this homework at 9 is primarily a lesson in parenthood! I am discussed with it. WE are tired at night and have to help with homework. There's NO WAY these children could do this on their own. There's a science project (10% of their grade), due in Feb. and my son couldn't begin to even decide on a subject! I even gave him choices, but he couldn't even do that part. I just wonder who they think is doing these things? I'll tell you who.....talented parents, not those like his father and me. When we finish it WE don't even get an A!! His book report due tomorrow has to be TYPED!!! What?  Guess who typed it?! |
|
|
|
Post by mom2tj on Jan 6, 2005 11:05:21 GMT -5
mixes feeling about this.... my 9yo does his homework on his own I am always close by and I check it out but its his responsibility to do it... if it is too much I write a note to the teacher I put a limite to how long he does homework... the teacher is good about it.... but if I dont note anything and homework is not done he stays in at recess rule for all kids... sometimes I think its teaching them to be responsible for there actions but other times I just dont know, I dont feel standing in the corridor does much I was FURIOUS when I found out my son was sent out alot in grade 1 and 2 before diag they coulnd handle him I didnt know this at the time I think when it comes to evryday homework I want him to take responsibility but when they sent toese STUPID projects that are just to much for these poor kids PLEASE what are they thinking..... last month DS had to do a project on something so usseless.... we coulnt even find info on the internet (I had to search, I dont let DS search te web) then we had to go to the library (like I have time for that) he had to draw maps and since they would be displayed for all to see I was scared he sould be teased to guess who did it! Projects after projects.... and what I hate the most is when they team them up, my DS doesnt work well in team never did, and no one want him in there team GRRRRR to answer you question an avarage 9yo should be able to do his or her own homework, since our kids are special they need a little more insentive.... althought I let DS do his own homework I am in and out of his room at least 20 time to make sure he is accualy doing it and helping him...... I dont mind helping him I feel that I am 50 % of his education if not more, I give him that 1 on 1 and the teacher cant..... |
|
|
|
Post by mskris on Jan 6, 2005 12:46:40 GMT -5
My 9 yo does his own homework, but I have to get him going on it by telling him to take out his agenda, sit down, get out the book, etc. I check it when he's finished, too. PLEASE, don't get me started on the projects! I HATE them - they are definitely for the parents. All his reports have to be typed (by me), and the latest is (get this) an interactive science board in electricity and magnetism. Yep, it has to light up or buzz or something. It has to be 2X2 feet, minimum, in size. How many can guess that the electrical engineer dads will be doing these? I know I turned it over to dh! I do literature and art - he does math and science! LOL. Ds just does whatever reading and drawing are required. What a waste. I remember doing this type of stuff in middle school, but I never even had homework until 4th grade!! Kris |
|
|
|
Post by tridlette on Jan 6, 2005 13:42:41 GMT -5
Last night was a violent night here at my house. DS 14 came home all worked up, hid it from me since we had to pick up his best friend and the mom for karate class. I should have known something was wrong when he didn't win the "still drill" at class (his military classes are helping him ignore distractions!) When we got home I started to talk to him about his upcoming IEP meeting and what he thinks he needs for accomodations in school. He exploded, throwing things (umbrella, books...). He then threw a paper at me screaming, "it is the only page I have that I need for the test tomorrow, and Mr. M. said that I get 2 days of detention for every question I get wrong on the test. There are 40 questions, and I am going to never be able to come home again!" Screaming and pounding followed, with lots of tears all the way around the house. Dad had to cancel his Scout meeting, because the household was such a mess. I finally talked him down, and took him to McDonalds for ice cream and a long talk... in the ice storm! This morning he got up for school doing all right, but the school bus never came. He came in at 7:20 a.m. with 4 other kids and asked for a ride. Well, if I have to drive to school, I am going to bring my hat and broom along  I flew through security ( I did sweet talk him~ he felt sorry for me!) and landed in the guidance office. I talked to the counselor and he called Michael out of homeroom (Mr. M's class!) and asked for Mr. M to call in too... but the message didn't get to him. Michael came down and we talked in great length with the counselor. Michael CONNECTED with the counselor (Mr. H)... I was amazed after all the $100's I have paid to therapists that Michael ignored. Mr. H worked magic on Michael, and I left with a "success planning" page from Mr. H. Michael looked at it, and thought it would be useful, too! Mr. M called me a few hours later, and we had a LONG talk too. He said (and I actually believe) that Michael only heard "blah, blah, blah" when Mr. M said that Michael needed to do well on this test, and if he got anything wrong, Mr. M would like to spend two MINUTES on each question with Michael to show him what he should have done to get it right. He DOES want Michael to stay after school, but for extra help, not detention... nothing mandatory! Mr. M is retiring this spring, so he can afford to be a softy this year! He went on to say, he had read the evaluation report from the special ed. department, and he is fascinated with the results... as a scientist! Michael's IQ is 138, but his functional short term memory IQ is 70... the 68 point difference is a 0.01 % occurance in the general population! Mr. M wants to work with Michael, and find out what goes on in his mind! I am still heartbroken for all the tears for last night, but I am feeling hopeful that we have finally turned a corner! But I had remembered this thread when I flew into the office this morning, thinking he was going to fail AND get detention. I am sorry to ramble on so... but it has been an emotional day!
|
|
|
|
Post by camismom on Jan 6, 2005 15:50:52 GMT -5
Am I wrong that homework at 9 years old (and a struggling kid mind you), is more the parents responcibility? So in effect if we hadnt done homework, sd would be punished for my not looking or asking or helping? Or do kids as early as 9 really DO homework on their own normally? I think I am losing touch with what is normal for a child anymore... I dont have a clue, where sd should be stepping up... Maybe I am enabling her too much? Maybe I dont give her enough credit? OH I just dont know anymore! cat In my opnion, no you aren't wrong. Cami is 13 and still doesn't do hers on her own. I have to monitor her to make sure she is doing it. And Lord, don't get me started on projects either! Homework to me is a huge gripe! I mean our kids are at school all day.... they shouldn't have to come home and spend all night doing more! GEEZ! They need time to just be a kid for pete sake! Oh! My hats off to you Laurie for today! Good going mom!  |
|
mothercat
Member Emeritus
With a little luck and a lot of Gods help anything is possible!
Posts: 1,468
|
Post by mothercat on Jan 6, 2005 16:37:15 GMT -5
I dont know whether you have an Iep or a 504 but most of our kids have one or the other...according to both punishment for not getting homework completed can be amended or altered for our kids.. With Jared we were doing 4-5 hours a night of homework (fits , tears, and frustration..mostly mine) and we had the option of having it reduced to suit his needs... We opted however for the portable processor so that he could type his homework and transfer it to teachers pc...they have the thing on order until then he is using our pc ..but the point is they can and should make suitable adjustments for homework needs AND punishment needs...I am not saying not to punish but to do it in a manner that benefits the childs and moves them forward in their education. No kid who hates school will do well...especially children as special and sensitive as ours... okay I will climb off the soap box now. |
|
|
|
Post by Allanque on Jan 9, 2005 1:32:53 GMT -5
Soooo...I'm guessing that I shouldn't tell y'all that I still need slave drivers to get my homework done sometimes?
|
|
|
|
Post by MistyMorningPA on Jan 9, 2005 23:04:01 GMT -5
This topic sure hit a nerve with me too! My dd came home with a note in her planner telling me that she will miss recess all next week because of missing work in her spelling book. Well, I had her do ALL the missing work over the weekend & wrote back to the teacher that I do NOT agree with the "no recess" rule & that she should find another punishment. Like someone said, isn't a bad grade punishment enough? After all, our kids especially NEED recess as an outlet for some of their excess energy! And anyway, now that she's completed the work, whats the point of staying in? |
|
mothercat
Member Emeritus
With a little luck and a lot of Gods help anything is possible!
Posts: 1,468
|
Post by mothercat on Jan 9, 2005 23:27:19 GMT -5
When my older son (not adhd) was in the 5th grade he had three recesses ALL year...Teacher claimed it was cause he was unorganized....I told her JUST WAIT Two more years! She kept alot of BUds pals in too
When Bud had her there was one boy she made stand up the whole second half of the year for forgetting to bring paper to write on...he was adhd and his crack head mother didn't care. I took paper in for him but she didn't care as I wasnt his parent.
Since then I think she has totally turned around and i think Jared had alot to do with it..she took the time to watch and study up on adhd...she also had me in there EVERY day checking . Jared has these adhd eyes that are nothing but FLIRT and he used them on her.
|
|
