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Post by Annette on Aug 30, 2004 20:01:17 GMT -5
First some back ground. My daughter is ADHD, she also has some other problems. She is in a general education class room with Special Ed support. Part of her disability is to avoid doing anything that she thinks is hard to do. And she will try everything to try to avoid doing it. My Aunt is also in the hospital, we don't think she's going to make it.
There have only been five days of school. In that five days of school my daughter has pretty much sat there looking at the wall. Every page of work she has brought home has been unfinished. Today none of her work was finished. The special Ed teacher that is supposed to see her every day, has not seen her at all.
And to top it all off I get a note today saying that since her homework wasn't turned in today she will get no credit for it.( Her homework is the school work she didn't do). I also got all of today's work with big red letters on it DUE Tuesday.
So Saturday was my daughters birthday, and I spent Sunday at the hospital. I spend all day every day at the hospital. And yes the teacher knows this. The teacher won't make her do her work, and is giving me deadlines.
I want to write of the back on the note, I'm sorry my Aunt is dying I don't have time to do your job right now.
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Post by eaccae on Aug 30, 2004 20:29:55 GMT -5
I would call the teacher and/or principal and let her know at least that there are family matters that take precedence, if you feel comfortable let her know what is going on with your Aunt - but if not - let her know that there is something going on and that you will try and work with her and get some of the work done but that it will be impossible at this point to get ALL of it done. I would also find out why the special ed teacher isn't meeting with her. DS - until mid year last year - had huge stacks of unfinished work. But NEVER did any of his teachers send the stacks home - sometimes he would get a small stack with a note to please do as much as possible . . .but all of his teachers felt that they would work with him on it and didn't want to burden him with it as homework on top of the rest of his homework - they wanted what they assigned done. What grade is your daughter in?
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Post by Linda on Aug 30, 2004 20:41:28 GMT -5
I also would like to know what grade your daughter is in.
I agree with what Elizabeth has said.In my opinion the teacher is NOT being helpful and I sure would like to know why the special-ed teacher is not following up.
Yes call the teacher and keep persisting until you are satisfied.You are your daughters advocate and no one knows her better than you do.Keep us updated.
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Post by Annette on Aug 30, 2004 21:11:17 GMT -5
She is in 3rd grade.I held her back in 1st.So she is supposed to be in 4th. Her reading is at 1 st grade 6 th month.
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Post by catseye on Aug 31, 2004 11:37:23 GMT -5
First I am very sorry about your aunt, and all the added stress and pressure you must be under... (((annette)))
Second lets think about this a minute, say you actually do
this... What do you think would happen? Honestly, and no I dont usually have the backbone to do something of this nature, but in YOUR situation I just may have the guts... Do you think they would punish your daughter more? Or do you think the teacher may actually understand that right now is not feasible for you to sit down with you daughter with homework every night?
I *think* and of course cant be sure, if I was a teacher, I would understand your plight, and appreciate your honesty to the situation... I haveing a heart would help you out as much as I could!
Do you have any older neighbor girls? I have found a few that think it is "fun" helping a younger child with their homework... Maybe something of that nature could help?
Oh I wish I could help more! This makes me so angry! Good luck
And yes definately when you can, check and see what the special ed teacher is doing, since she obviously isnt helping your daughter...
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Post by mom2tj on Aug 31, 2004 13:07:52 GMT -5
My 2 cents....
Please think carefully before you do something, the year is just beginning what you do now will efect the whole year.....
if I was in that cituation (I am in a way father-in-law is in hospital) I would try to ask for help first tell the teacher you cant handle the load and see if the special eds teacher can help...
by beeing too blunt you might regret it later...
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Post by aimee30 on Aug 31, 2004 17:30:20 GMT -5
I recently went to open house and was given a 5 page packet on how to help your child succeed in school. Here is a portion of it:
"Tell the teacher everything. That is, everything that's happening at home that might affect how your child behaves in school. That includes positive changes (such as the birth of a baby, a move to a bigger and better house, or even a vacation to Disney World), as well as negative ones (a separation or divorce, a death or illness in the family, a parent who's lost a job). It's good to let the teacher know if these events are affecting your partnership with your child too (help with homework, not being at home as often).
It's not that the teachers are nosy. It's that most children are not terribly skilled at handling excitement or coping with changes or stress. And they all carry their baggage from home into the classsroom. Even something little, like a fight with a sibling in the car on the way to school, can affect a child's behavior or performance at school.
You needn't go into all of the gory details of what's happening at home, either. All the teacher expects to hear is, 'I just wanted to let you know that we're moving to a new house next week, and Allan is pretty nervous about the whole thing' or 'If Sheila seems a little hyper these days it's becauser her aunt is taking her to her first Broadway play this weekend."
I don't know if that will help with your decision of sending in a note or not. I also think that letting your teacher in on happenings around the home helps to build a stronger parent teacher bond.
As far as the special ed teacher, I think I would send in a note about that too. Get to the bottom of it. If they are supposed to be helping your dd find out why they haven't been. If you don't get a satisfactory response from the teacher I think it warrants a call to the principal.
Sorry about your aunt. Praying she is doing well.
Good luck and lots of hugs! Let us know what happens.
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Post by Annette on Aug 31, 2004 20:30:22 GMT -5
I decided not to give anything away. I stayed nice and polite today when talking to the teacher, social worker and the principal.
I told the teacher again my Aunt is in the hospital, I don't think she'll make it. By the time I get home, I just can't do homework, Again I told her, I am saving all the homework to show the Psychologist.
Today she was better she did all but one page of her work. The teach also wrote me a letter telling me the thing my daughter has been doing. And what she has been doing to help her. One of the things she wrote is not in compliance with her IEP. She also stated that the special Ed teach is working on getting her in to the room. Another violation of the IEP.
So I'm saving all this up and I'm going to blast them with it at our next IEP.
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Post by rosyred45 on Sept 1, 2004 7:10:50 GMT -5
Make sure everything is documented with dates and such for your meeting. That way nothing can slip under the rug and they can't say well, such and such was a substitue or anything like that.
Hope things get a little easier and prayers for your aunt
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
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