Is anyone else's tummy turning?

[eaccae]

I just have this nauseating feeling of dread over the start of the school year! Last year was so awful and I didn't have the fight left in by the end of the school year.

I have just sent the principal - in writing - another request for the REST of his records - since I only received the ppt info, CST info - nothing else - along with a reminder that I would be meeting with Alexander's 4th grade teacher before school starts.

I am sticking to my guns on this one - if I meet with the teacher and I get one bad vibe - I don't care WHAT the school policy is - if I don't like her - he is changing classes!!! After last year - there is no debate in my mind. (Let's hope I love her!!!) I want an organized teacher for a change!!! For my unorganized son!

I have to gear up for the 504 fight again! Each year they have told me that Alexander doesn't qualify for an IEP or a 504 because his IQ is "superior" - but that "next" year he will be able to get a 504. Well several "next" years later we still don't have one. He is unorganized, has writing problems, math problems, needs some very key accomodations . . . I am going to hate this fight. BUT - since he scored superior to high average on ALL of the IQ subtests along with ALL of the other testing they did for him - and since his performance doesn't equal half of that - I am going to find some way to get that 504!! I am now so tired of all the games I am actually ready to go to the school board!

I am going to get some advice from DH's Aunt - a formal principal from a CT highschool as to what is law, policy and what else to do to get what I need (she is absolutely amazed that DS isn't getting any services either). I also have a call into the pediatrician to find a neurologist specializing in dysgraphia (I can't afford to go to the pediatric neuropsychologist we were going to for Xander's adhd - health insurance doesn't cover it and I don't have the funds for anymore of his testing ) but I hopefully will be able to find someone in-network who can call up the school and give them grief for ignoring this dysgraphia problem! The OT believes that dysgraphia is either purely a visio thing (DS is excellent in this area) or purely a motor skills thing. Although both of these things are true - there is another piece that is strictly neurological - but the OT doesn't believe that so now we have to find someone else to back that up before we can actually get help for him! (Forget the fact that he is 2 grade levels behind in writing and this is a HUGE concern of every teacher he has ever had and that he is terribly strong in the visio/spacial arena, has excellent motor skills, has been documented by all the teachers and special ed teachers and OT that he is trying his HARDEST - and he STILL can't WRITE!!!) I even purchased out of my OWN pocket an alphasmart DANA for Alexander to use during his writing session and for writing his homework down. DS was sooooo excited about this (he is a great typist) - but his teacher last year said absolutely no way. By the time the principal and special ed teacher saw it and thought it was a great idea - it was too late - DS already knew the teacher hated it and refused to use it! Why didn't the teacher just ask the people that be BEFORE she said no so emphatically? Who the heck knows!

Okay! I am done with my vent!!
Oh - I am already tired!

[finnmom]

Oh Elizabeth

I had a little nauseautic feeling this morning when I dropped my ds to his first schoolday But first day was nice, say´s he, so he´ll be going back tomorrow, that´s a good start

I keep my finger´s grossed for you!!! Keep on fighting, even it really is frustrating to fight all the time, but it´ll pay you back some day. There is really noone else to fight for your children, that´s mom´s job!! You gather all the info you can and "shoot them" good, they cant do anything against the law, so keep on pushing!!

[camismom]

Elizabeth, I get that feeling every year! But then as Cami gets older and the school year starts, she shows me yet again, she can handle things a little better than the previous year and it subsides some.

You just keep fighting for that child of yours and don't back down until you get what you want. You're a great mom and your ds is lucky to have you!

[Linda]

I have been where you are and I know the feeling of dread....Remember 1 thingPARENTS RULE! be the best advocate for your child and remember ...you are a good mom.

[adhdtimes4]

You're going to get what's right for your son, I know. Your son is blessed to have you as an advocate. I don't know how many times teachers have said to me about my 10th grader, "Usually kids like this just fall through the cracks." They always THANK me for being so pushy: Case in point, an email today, a followup on our first teacher conference for the year. The teacher wrote, "Thank you for your investment in his education." Your efforts will pay off, and one day people will recognize how much you have done. Keep at it!

Please let us know what resources you use to force their hand on the 504.

And yes, I know the tummy turning feeling.

[rosyred45]

I got in writing on the Pediatric Neurologists scribe the recommendation for a 504.....that there was like gold to me.....I made copies of it for I don't know how many people

And concerning the intellegence level, the VP told me that the 504 has nothing to do with intellegence if the child can't sit still long enough to learn or is such a scatterbrain that it impacts major life learning.

Can you get a referal from one of your docs? Then and there might be a kicker for them to get it in gear

[eaccae]

Thanks for the support, guys! You all make me feel better!

Kaiti - he has a recommendation from a pediatric neurologist stating that he needs extra help - that he even qualifies for an aid (which I am not asking for - just a 504)! That didn't get me very far. There is even a recommendation for help fomr him on the writing issue. But I have to get the formal test done in order for the school to recognize it. When I first brought up dysgraphia - no one in the school had even heard of it. Now tell me - what does that say to you?

So I have the recommendation from the pediatric neurologist (I've HAD it since the end of K and formally filed it during 2nd) AND documentation for the past few years showing that he is indeed having problems that are directly impacting his education (if he wasn't why would all the teachers be calling me up ALL YEAR LONG to complain?!!) But the school is sticking to their guns - his testing is too high for qualification. Well - we'll see what happens this year.

Anyway - if I have to move heaven and Earth I am going to get a piece of paper from a neurologist. Alexander has worked with so many people outside of the school and they all say the same thing - dysgraphia. One of his handwriting tutors actually has dysgraphia - no motor skills problems, great visio/spacial - she knows the OT and spoke with her and told me - nope this woman is a nice woman but she can't see out of her little box.

Anyway - I think I will feel more relieved when I meet with the teacher and find a neurologist who is covered under health insurance.

Thanks again!!

[jdmom]

Yes, I've got that nauseated feeling going on.

I think Jarrett is nervous, too. He hasn't said anything, but last night we were up from 1:20-4:00. He was having nightmares. He said he would try to think of something nice as he was going to sleep, but it just kept turning out bad. I guess it's just his nerves. Normally, he sleeps like a rock, but when he's nervous about something, he'll have bad dreams. And a kid down the road told him last night that his teacher this year is a big meanie. Lovely!

Needless to say, I'm running on pure caffeine this morning.

[camismom]

JDmom, Get out your witches hat and go give that mouthy kid a talkin' to! ;D And tell Jarrett that just because this kid thinks the teacher is a big meanie doesn't mean it's true. Maybe she just had to be a meanie with him beause he doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut. We all know Kaiti isn't really a meanie but she got called one yesterday in VBS.

In between cups of coffee try to calm yourself and Jarrett down, and wait to go with your own opinion!

In the meantime, I have plenty of Maalox if you need some!

[eaccae]

OH JDmom - it is bad enough when WE have this feeling - it is terrible when our children have it!! Hopefully all will work out well and he can rest easy!!

Sometimes kids say things just to say them. Other times - as Christi pointed out - perspectives are different!

Good luck - hope he has a GREAT teacher and no more nightmares!!!

[jdmom]

Christy - the problem is that Jarrett doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut either.

I honestly know nothing about this teacher. She is middle-aged, has taught for 20 years. That's all I know. They post a picture and a bio on the school's website. Unfortunately, they do not tell you if the teacher is a big meanie.

Jarrett could use a teacher who would set him straight right off the bat. The last 2 teachers have been softies. Jarrett's problem is that he doesn't do anything outrightly rebellious. He just can't keep his motuh shut or his butt still. Plus, he's a "tester". He'll play shy the first couple of weeks, and they all think he's a super kid. Then slowly, he starts testing the waters. By now, they think he's cute and they let him get away with it. Before the end of the year, they've lost any "edge" they may have had on him. He's got them wrapped around their little fingers, and I get to hear them gripe about it. Why is it my fault that they can't keep him quiet in the classroom? They are the one who let him get away with it for half the year before it started getting on their nerves.

And I've tried to warn every one of them on the very first day. Usually, the second week of school or so, they will come up to me and just gush and gush about what a well-behaved student he is and I'll just roll my eyes and tell them to wait a little longer and they look at me like I'm some kind of evil mother. Then the notes will start trickling in and slowly come home more and more often until it is almost daily. And unfortunately you can't just run to the school to say "I TOLD YOU SO!".

Then it kills me to have to punish him for their lack of structure in the classroom.

Blehh - I need a Zantac.....