Meeting with teachers before school starts?

[bunny]

Will you be meeting with your childs teacher before the start of the school year? What sort of things will be on your agenda to discuss?

I've always tried to let the teachers deal with my kids as they feel is best, but now that I am tuned in to the ADD with my ds, I feel that I need to go through a few things before the year starts. I'm trying to get by with no meds if possible (ADD, no H), and just work on behavior modification and supplements.

Hoping to start the year off right ;D.

Bunny

[Linda]

I always met with Paul's elementary teachers before school started.I think it is a good idea to have a teacher that "fits" with your child.They always seemed to be greatful for the input I gave them.


Now that he is 16 he takes care of it himself.If he has a teacher that he doesn't care about or doesn't teach the way he learns he goes to his counselor and gets the class changed.Talk about self-advocate! ;D

[camismom]

I always meet with Cami's teachers before school starts to make them aware of her ADHD and what "tricks" work for her. I also like to make them aware that I am very active in her education and whenever there is ANY kind of problem, to let me know.

Another thing I did when Cami was in elementary school was try to find out what teacher was the "best bet" for handling "problem" children and at the end of the year, request that teacher for the next year. With exception of her last year there, I usually got the one I asked for.

[adhdtimes4]

When we encounter a new teacher, I usually meet him or her, but instead of a formal discussion, I write a letter detailing specifics about my child and our family. I make sure they I also tell the teacher I'd like to meet the second month of school.

As the boys get older, we keep getting teachers we've had before!

[eaccae]

I try to meet with the teachers before school starts. For the past two years the teachers basically refused to meet with me. His second grade teacher was fantastic so it wasn't a problem but his third grade teacher . . .

This year - I contacted the principal directly and told her that I WOULD be meeting with his teacher this year before school starts and she agreed. I hate to get the principal involved but if it is the only way . . .

Anyway - the school keeps refusing to give DS a 504 - every year they say the same thing - "next year . . ." and then next year comes! They always do the accomodations informally but last year that didnt' work out well as his teacher basically didn't apply them. Actually she wouldn't have applied the 504 either but - I will be going over all of the accomodations he will be needing, going through his weaknesses and his strengths - the tips that work for him, etc.

[jdmom]

Do you guys ever feel that telling the teacher right off the bat about the ADD/ADHD starts the whole year off on the wrong foot? I've been thinking about this lately. His kindergarten teacher knew, cause that's when we got dx'd. I told his 1st grade teacher at the open house before school started. I figured she knew anyway, because it was probably in his file. But she acted surprised. I kinda feel that then she started looking for problems, if you know what I mean. It's like she made a bigger deal out of misbehavior then she would have if the child was not ADHD. She was never mean, but I got so tired of hearing "Well, I'm sure it's the ADHD but....." I'm sure the parents of the other children never heard about the occasional ordinary misbehaviors, but I got to hear about every single one!

I have wondered if I should bring it up to his 2nd grade teacher? I'm sure it's in his file, but maybe they don't read them all that closely? The school nurse knows, so I'm not worried about any medical problems. Also, I'm starting him out on a lower dose of meds than he was on by the time school ended last year. We've been med-free this summer, and the few times I gave him his meds, he acted kinda spacey, I guess because he's not used to them anymore. So I had the doc lower them. If she came to me with a problem, I would know that it was time for an increase and not just the constant harping like his teacher did last year. But I haven't decided.

[Linda]

I hate to say this but from working in the school district for many years I can tell you that if 1 teacher knows they all know.

[bunny]

JDmom,

That's what I've been wondering . I think I will try to speak with his teacher anyway. I would like to get him moved near the teacher/front of class so ds is more likely to pay attention.

I would also like to discuss how I do NOT want his recess taken away if he has class work to finish. That is what happened the last two years (2 different schools). Don't you think that is a stupid rule (I don't usually say "stupid",... but it is!)?

Let's keep the kids cooped up a little more... that'll teach um!

I also want the teacher to know that I am concerned and involved, and that just because ds is not disruptive, is still getting good grades, does not mean that he should be ignored. His inattentive issues get more noticable each year of school (he's going into 3rd). He's to the point that he's getting so overwhelmed and frustrated, that I'm afraid he'll soon get discouraged and want to quit trying .

I commend all you involved parents. Who talked about the hat and broom? Am I going to have to go out and buy some new supplies? ;D

Bunny

[jdmom]

You guys are probably right.

I'm really not looking forward to school starting again. I think I dread it more than he does!

[HooDunnit]

I suppose that you could tell a teacher if you wanted accomodations. But I wouldn't tell them. I homeschooled my son for five years because his ADHD was so bad. He couldn't write (is dysgraphic) and wouldn't take medication. But when he started high school we didn't tell them anything. He prints and types. He has lots of ADHD problems, but we don't ask for accomodations and no one asks us. His marks are usually As or Bs. We talk about the issues of ADHD all the time, but not with school people. They basically don't care. They want to treat all kids the same for the most part. They only notice you if you are a problem for them.

People don't ask about your grade 4 marks. They ask about your grade 12 marks. So we have always taken the long view.

[eaccae]

I don't know - I think it is important to share with the teachers. For all the problems that I have had with the school (and his terrible teacher last year) - I wouldn't change a thing. First - I try to assume the best of the teacher that sharing the info will help DS. I do know that had I NOT shared the info with his teacher last year - he still would have had the same problems and we still would have had the same issues to work through. All in all it has worked out for the best. Personally - how can I get upset with a teacher if she doesn't have the whole picture?

Unfortunately - there are those teachers that do use it as an excuse for naughty behaivor and pick apart the child - I have had 2 really bad teachers (Kindergarten and 3rd) but luckily THAT was not the problem. My problems with last year's teacher stemmed mostly because she herself was unorganized and didn't seem to "get" adhd although her own son is adhd.

And Barry is correct - if one teacher knows - they ALL know. Whether you have paperwork or formally "filed" with the school -if you mention to one teacher that your child has adhd - it will be somewhere in your child's file.

But that doesn't bother me so much. Like Barry said - noone is looking up the school records from elementary school - and quite frankly the only thing these colleges/universities have time for are the high school transcripts . . .

Unfortunately I cannot homeschool - being a mom with add I don't think we would get too far! So I need to let the teachers know now what the issues are so that we can figure out how to best teach him/help him now so that he IS successful during those all important high school years.

As much as I hate it - I would rather pull out my pointy hat and broom and deal with the school head on. Again, I can't hold the school responsible or call out the teachers, etc. if they don't have the full picture. And that isn't fair to my son. And for the most part (other than his Kindergarten and 3rd grade teachers) his teachers have been very responsive and worked hard to help DS. My bigger issues are with the principal and school psychologist.

[adhdtimes4]

It would be a terrible disservice for my second son (ADHD-Inattentive) to not talk to his teachers. If I didn't let them know what was going on, they would assume he was paying attention, then decide he was just lazy when he didn't produce his homework or good test grades. He desperately needs the accomodations given him to learn up to his potential.

I met with his geometry teacher informally tonight at my THIRD 9th grade orientation. (I'm still reeling that I have three boys in high school.) I gave a quick overview, telling her to look for the 504. She asked me a few good questions - how tall was he (for seating), was he artistic, prior scores in math. She told me how she keeps her students engaged for 90 minutes.

We've had this teacher before, and she actually started the discussion; I wouldn't have held an off the cuff meeting ordinarily. Still, it was a great meeting. She knows what to expect, she'll already have him placed on her seating chart, so she won't embarrass him the first day by moving him front and center.

[motherduck]

We will be meeting with my son's teacher before school starts . Just for a little history on my sons education so far in kindergarten the teacher was not suited to teach a child with add. On to first grade he had a wonderful year ;D. No complaints at all. Then 2nd. 3rd. 4th grades were h*ll again. Teachers not used to having a child like Jake in their classroom. Kept blaming us for all his behavior problems. Also not willing to accomadate his needs. An example would be he needs help on langauge skills the title 1 teacher instead of working with him personally would go into the classroom and not only work with him but also all the other children who do not qualify for the extra help and only for 20 minutes twice a week. And this is with a IEP in place for him. In 5th grade he still had his problems but we also had a teacher who went out of her way to make sure his needs were being met. Now keep in mind during the rough years we had asked about a program that this school district has for children like our son with both emotional and behavior problems but kept being told that there was no such program by the principal. This past spring things finally came to a head for him and we had to bring in a social worker, therapist, and a family advocate to get him into this program that supposedly never existed. It is amazing how fast the school jumped then. So now he goes to one school for three-quarters of the day and back to the regular classroom the rest of the day. And the best part of all of this is his self-esteem and his behavior has improved greatly. ;D My battle for this year will to be to keep him in this program as if he keeps doing this well they want to place him back into a regular classroom. I just keep thinking if it isn't broken why try to fix it. This is where he belongs. Sorry had to vent a little. Now back to the ? we will meet with last years teacher and this years teachers hoping to make the transition easier on all of us. I also think the no homework no recess rule is
not the answer to not doing homework. That is the only time the children get to learn what is and not acceptable behavior socially. I think that is where alot of his social problems extend from as he was never allowed recess . Nowif homework is not done it gets sent home with him. If it is not done at home it gets sent back to school with him then he has to get it done before he is allowed recess. which works wonderfully for him. It makes him more responsible for his own actions . It gives him more time to make the right choice and for him it sometimes takes a whole day to make the right choice. Hope that was explained right.

kim

[camismom]

JDmom, I understand your question and feeling this way, because I have often wondered that too. But for me my feeling has always been that if I tell them ahead of time, then the good ones will go ahead and prepare before that first day. The teachers that know how to teach ADHD know that that child needs to be placed in the front of the class close to them. If you tell them ahead of time, they should have that in place that first day. Also, like someone else pointed out, if your child is not finishing work on time, is disorganized, messy, etc., they will know why and not just assume the child is lazy or doesn't care. I personally want the accomadations inplace from day one so her grade doesn't suffer any. If I wait six weeks down the line for instance, then that is six weeks her grades and self esteem has suffered.

Bunny, you asked about the hat and broom and wondering if you need to buy "new supplies"? Yes, that is a common saying on the board. We all have our hats and brooms ready for when we have to act like "witches" to get something done. So, until you can buy yours, there are plenty here that will loan there's if needed. ;D ;D

[rosyred45]

YUP, Mine's all ready and dusted off-the broom that is ;D

I plan on meeting with who ever gets Mikey. This year I don't have a preference as to teachers as they are both very good. One teacher has the strength of science in the class, while the other has a strength of rediretection. I think either will be fine....except that there are a few kids that really need to be separated, and that's going to be tricky.

They feed off of each other, and Mikey is so impulsive that he's gotten into fights with a couple because of lack of supervision....he gets bullied, then retaliates and he's the one in trouble not the instigater

I am very receptive to any ideas that come home, especially last year, everything was great. But when it comes to the lunch time, I've been told to give them the list and they'll make sure that Mikey doesn't get what he's not allowed. I thought that info was shared already, but apparently it waasn't Plus I'm hoping that one lady is still in there as an aide, she was great with Mikey and brought it to my attention that he was getting bullied at lunch time

As far as "warning" the teachers and stuff, I have to get my thoughts together on that one