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Post by Kaiti on Sept 27, 2005 12:25:25 GMT -5
I know we had talked about this a while back, but I wanted ot bring it up again.
Tara will be 11 in December. For her age, she is responsible for the most part, and so far isn't too sneaky. At least I know the who's what's where's why's and how's.
But what age do you think it is appropriate for her to have her own e-mail? She e-mails a friend under my address......which goes to the other girl's mom's address.....so far that is OK, but Tara asked the other day about her own.
I'm just torn as to appropriateness. You all know that i don't follow what others do,and like wise with Tara. We are very strong headed.....a trait she got from me.....she got the stubbornness from her father ;D ;D
Anyhow, any and all comments are appreciated.
Have a great day.
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Post by finnmom on Sept 27, 2005 12:34:55 GMT -5
That´s a though question, our parent´s didn´t have to wonder anything like these  I wouldn´t let her have her own add yet  but you know me; strickt and boring mom .......I think at 13 you have to let her have her own, for now on she could just settle using your´s Or if you deside to let her have her own; make sure it´s as well restrickted as you can... all the possible thing´s you can do to assure that it´s save for her to use it I dont know... this is hard  |
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Post by Linda on Sept 27, 2005 12:45:34 GMT -5
This is a hard one....christy where are you? |
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Post by camismom on Sept 27, 2005 18:44:10 GMT -5
....christy where are you? I am right here! hehe Kaiti, ultimately the decision is yours and Mike's (course you alreadsy know that!). At 10 I would mostly just question her responsibility with it and just the safety of it as a whole. You have already said she is pretty responsible and there are ways around the safety issues. When you give her her own email it will show as a child's account due to the age you will show as the account holder. In going through the process of setting her up you will guided through the restrictions you want for her account. There are things you can restrict and things you can block. To me hotmail is the best because you can set up her account's filter as "exclusive". This meaning the only email that will be delivered to her inbox will be from the ones she has set up as contacts. Any thing else will automatically be deleted. This truly is the biggest problem with email and the most important thing you can do..because the spam that can get through without that filter can be VERY alarming! You will just have to get the email addies of her friends and have them pre-set as contacts so when they email her she will get it and they won't think she's ignoring them. Trying to remember when I set Cami up with her own....and I believe it was age 11 as well. She had it but hardly used it...it didn't kick in and really start being used until age 12 and the glorious middle school years began. We all know the internet can be a dangerous place, but we also all know you and Mike are wonderful parents and you will keep an eye on it just as I have Cami through the years. Yeah, she has had her close calls, but I have always caught them because I'm always monitoring. I have no doubt you'll do the same! Good luck on whatever you decide! |
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Post by Kaiti on Sept 28, 2005 5:34:54 GMT -5
Thanks for the responses. You know I will use the MOM rule of UNDER MY ROOF  She KNOWS that I don't pull punches. I already told her that if she does get it, until I am 100% sure of everything, I will read anything she gets before she has a chance to. MOM RULES. I gotta give this a bit more thought the more I think about it, the more torn I am. It's the I can trust her, but can I trust everyone else issue |
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Post by kstquilter on Oct 1, 2005 18:43:46 GMT -5
well i thought i already answered this one but have to say that you may want to think about letting her have one since she's asking. there are plenty of kids out there who can show her how to get her own without your permission. if you let her have her own then you have some control, at least for a little longer!
you've also shown her that you trust her and she'll feel like she's won this battle. the kids need to win once in awhile too.
karen
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Post by AnneM on Oct 2, 2005 10:28:39 GMT -5
Hey Kaiti ... you have got some good answers here !! .. Christy is giving lots of really useful information and I sure do agree wholeheartedly with kstquilter's point that since she is asking for one ... then it is much better for you to set this up with your control (knowing the password etc) rather than some friend showing her how to get one possibly with you knowing nothing about it!! ... Tara is being totally open and asking for one with your permission ... I would give her that but would follow all the bits that Christy is pointing out!! ... Also ... just as a warning .... be careful on the email name she chooses ... Sam when he was about 12 had his first email account and chose the name "HotSam6" ... I honestly must have been very naive/stupid because it actually never occurred to me what was going to happen .... !! But he got pages and pages of invitations to various porn sites...  Thank Goodness I was going in there constantly to keep an eye on it and I closed the email account as quickly as we had started it!! So my advice is that the username should be as "UNinteresting as possible!" |
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Post by Kaiti on Oct 3, 2005 8:28:09 GMT -5
Good Point Karen. I did think about that. I figure at least if she knows I am showing her a bit of trust, which like I said, I can usually do, she'll be less likey to sneak around. Anne, that's part of our problem. All of Mike's side of teh family have their last name in their e-mail addy. ;DIt's funny because we never realized it until we had gotten together for my FIL's funeral.....they all had a form of their name @yahoo ;D ;D We all laughed because my FIL's was the same was. Anyhow, off to think of boring addresses |
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Post by Linda on Oct 3, 2005 9:28:07 GMT -5
Hey Kaiti ... you have got some good answers here !! .. Christy is giving lots of really useful information and I sure do agree wholeheartedly with kstquilter's point that since she is asking for one ... then it is much better for you to set this up with your control (knowing the password etc) rather than some friend showing her how to get one possibly with you knowing nothing about it!! ... Tara is being totally open and asking for one with your permission ... I would give her that but would follow all the bits that Christy is pointing out!! ... Also ... just as a warning .... be careful on the email name she chooses ... Sam when he was about 12 had his first email account and chose the name "HotSam6" ... I honestly must have been very naive/stupid because it actually never occurred to me what was going to happen .... !! But he got pages and pages of invitations to various porn sites... Thank Goodness I was going in there constantly to keep an eye on it and I closed the email account as quickly as we had started it!! So my advice is that the username should be as "UNinteresting as possible!" Sorry Anne....but HotSam had me laughing ;D ;D ;D kids ;D ;D |
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Post by Kaiti on Oct 3, 2005 12:00:07 GMT -5
;DHow could you let him have that addy Anne, for shame ;D ;D ;D
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Post by gabrielsmom on Oct 6, 2005 13:21:36 GMT -5
Gabriel has had his own email addy since he was 8 years old. However, I set it up, he can only get emails from the addys that I decided were allowed. MSN has a feature in its parentol controls that allows the parent to type in the email addys he can get email from, and that is what I did. I also know his password since I set it up and since gabriel is so forgetful(thank God for ADHD..LOL) I have to tell him what his email addy is before he can give to someone. LOL works for me  |
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Post by AnneM on Oct 6, 2005 14:47:50 GMT -5
Joshua ... I know JUST what you mean about having to REMIND them of what their email addy is ... ;D ;D WHAT A USEFUL THING this adhd thing can be sometimes!! ... although back to "HotSam6" ... ;D ;D I think even SAM might have remembered that one if he was still ALLOWED to own that address!! ;D ;D Oh boy though... You guys doooo have such a way of making me tearful with laughter !! ... ;D ;D |
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Post by Kaiti on Oct 10, 2005 5:34:17 GMT -5
Well, Mike just upgraded us to windows xp ???still trying to get used to it.
But I do have to say I like the fact that there is an "administrator" funtion and a "limited" user thing.
Can anyone help with what can and can't be done on this new system?
I''m used to windows 98se, so I am having a time of it, when not playing this spider solitaire........man that game is addicting ;D
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Post by camismom on Oct 10, 2005 8:41:55 GMT -5
In Windows XP, only an "administrator" can download files, or make changes on your pc. With XP, you can give everyone in the family their own account and set up passwords for each. This way, you can give Tara a limited account with password and she will have to come to you to sign her in (if you keep the password to yourself). This way she can't sneak on and while on can't download anything that could harm the computer.
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Post by Kaiti on Oct 10, 2005 8:53:48 GMT -5
LOVE IT ALREADY Thanks Christy |
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