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Post by camismom on Aug 9, 2005 9:36:31 GMT -5
Well, this is going to be a first and my child is going to FREAK tonight but with the help of a VERY good friend, I purchased tickets this morning for an Avril Lavigne concert in Atlanta next Friday night. Cami LOVES Avril Lavigne and has never been to a "real" concert. Though I know she would much prefer a friend, of course I will be her date. This brought me to think about the number of kids around her age (13) I see at events such as this, at fairs, at theme parks, the mall, etc. that are without an adult. I know it must be embarrassing to her to have these kids see her with her mom. I know she must be thinking they are thinking how pitiful she is... she must not have friends, etc. We have a good relationship entertainment wise and we have alot of fun together while shopping or such...but I hate to think of her as embarrasssed. I just don't think..no I know..she isn't ready for a concert alone. No way. There are too many freaks in this world to trust that. I was just wondering...for those of you with older kids...at what age did you start trusting them to go it alone at certain things? I know in the past I have worried about things that she has surprised me on...like staying home alone. But she gets turned around so easily I can't picture her finding her way around a theme park, or a concert venue. Anyway, tonight I will have a VERY happy child at home when she hears of this... I just hope she doesn't mind mom being her " Date". I'll just have to dress young that night and maybe pass myself off as an older sister instead. ;D  On a completely different "note", yet speaking of concerts...I also recently purchased a couple tickets for Journey in concert next month for Andy's birthday. He has always been a HUGE HUGE HUGE Journey fan so he will be freaking out too when he finds out. Meanwhile I come out smelling like a rose since I will be the date for both events. ..at least I think I'll be the one Andy takes along.  ;D |
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mothercat
Member Emeritus
With a little luck and a lot of Gods help anything is possible!
Posts: 1,468
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Post by mothercat on Aug 9, 2005 9:52:09 GMT -5
Some things it is okay to send Bud to..we are over protective and have been working on the issue. He can go camping, fishing, etc. but we drew a line. About a week ago while I was out and Bobo was working in the drive way Jared told BUd and Jimmy that dad said they could go play pool at the bar.With out thinking they rushed off to play pool...dad never said they could. I got home and withdrew their rears from the pool table on the spot. ANYWAY this led to a discusion about wwhat is alright and not ...between me an Bobo. His thoughts (and they made sense to me) is that a teenager should not be in public where alchohol is served without parental supervision. (BArs are completely out by the way parents or not ;D) But we discussed places like concerts...they serve beer and even tho our son wont drink...others do. Even adults at concerts who drink get STUPID and mess up. I dont want my minor child getting messed with or involved in accidental things like brawls or anything else. When idiots screw up usually innocent people get hurt. THerefore my vote on concerts alone at a young age is NOPE NO WAY. I would probably be more protective if I had a cute little daughter like yours.....
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Post by vickilyn32 on Aug 9, 2005 10:05:32 GMT -5
For us, we pick and choose each place or event at a time. Both kids can go to the movies with friends and no parent since they were 12, BUT, I know the owner of the movie theater, and every one who works there. Same thing with the skating rink. We are also in a small town. HOWEVER, if we go to Abilene to the mall, I will let them go into the next store (or two)without me, but not all over the mall alone. Not yet anyway. The question of concerts has not come up yet, but I very much doubt I would let either one go without an adult.
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Post by camismom on Aug 9, 2005 10:10:56 GMT -5
d even tho our son wont drink...others do. Even adults at concerts who drink get STUPID and mess up. I dont want my minor child getting messed with or involved in accidental things like brawls or anything else. When idiots screw up usually innocent people get hurt. THerefore my vote on concerts alone at a young age is NOPE NO WAY. That is EXACTLY what I was thinking and why I said I would be her date. I know concerts and the atmosphere they can have...smoke filled arenas and people stumbling and stupid drunk. It is definitely not something I want my 13 year old at without an adult. I just wonder at what age I WOULD feel comfortable allowing it. The world is too dangerous for our girls these days... heck it's too dangerous regardless the sex! |
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Post by tridlette on Aug 9, 2005 10:12:00 GMT -5
going to the local mall with a group of friends and a group of cell phones is fine. High school football game is okay too, since a lot of staff and security are there, and it is considered a school event... so if they do something stupid, they get detention or suspended... the kids are more careful.
Last summer we were at Six Flags with my sister and her kids. She let her 7 and 10 yr old daughters go over to a ride on the other side of the park alone. I didn't want my boys going anywhere I couldn't see them. I did relax a bit when the six kids went together to retrieve our stuff from the lockers... only because my hand was throbbing and I had taken some percocet! Plus the safety of numbers and my three were so close to being black belts... but...
CONCERTS are out for now. I agree with the m/c and the idea of alcohol around being a big trouble maker.
Then again, I was a big trouble maker as a teen, and I know a lot of the "stories" that worked on my folks to go somewhere they wouldn't have let me go. I knew that if anything went wrong, I could still call my mom and cry... she would come get me... and there were nights I DID call and she DID come!
If the kids were adamant about going off to a concert, I might let them go with a few friends, as long as I was there too. I MIGHT even willingly sit a few rows away to avoid the "embarrassing mom syndrome" that Michael so often feels.
In June, his high school Army Battalion had an end of the year dinner party at the Old Country Buffet in town... Michael invited me and his brothers to attend... only to find out I was the ONLY parent that was there. I enjoyed myself, and Michael didn't seem the least bit embarrassed. I tend to sink back into my 17 yr. old personality easily and I have a lot of "friends" in the high school. They tell me everything, like a big sister not as a parent.
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Post by camismom on Aug 9, 2005 10:13:45 GMT -5
Same thing with the skating rink. We are also in a small town. Vick, that's pretty much the only thing I have let Cami do without me there. But our rink checks the kids at the door and once in they are not allowed out without the parent. They keep employees on the door at all times so I know she is "safe" there. |
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Post by Linda on Aug 9, 2005 11:25:40 GMT -5
Christy...you are absolutely doing the right thing in being Cami's " Date"....I don't think she will object at all. I wish there were more parents like you who really cares about what there teen is up too.  |
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Post by vickilyn32 on Aug 9, 2005 11:33:22 GMT -5
Thats the same thing they do at our rink here also. The parent has to come to the door to pick the kids up, they cannot just run out to the parking lot. I will also allow school sports events. Especially since we live right next to the school.
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Post by Kaiti on Aug 9, 2005 11:48:29 GMT -5
Not that I am at this stage yet, but have you looked at it from the flip side? The other teens might think it is WAY COOL for you to be interested in the things Cami likes. At least that's just one point. Growing up other kids actually thought that as a mom, my mom was a royal pain. But then as we paid attention, my mom we realized wasn't that bad. How many other parents just give the kids tickets to get them out of their hair for a while |
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Post by AnneM on Aug 9, 2005 13:12:48 GMT -5
Christy !! You are definitely spoiling your family right now !! .. Oh I bet they will LOVVVVE IT !! You asked the question on when did those of us with teens start to trust them alone on things like concerts ... Well at 12/13 I can remember attending WITH Sam and my sister and her teenagers a Steps concert (Sam would be hugely embarrassed these days that he attended a Steps concert!! ;D ;D) .... However, at that time Sam stuck "with ME" constantly the entire time ... but I noticed that my sister's daughter (who was 15/16 left us to go " Down the front" and we didn't see her again at all until it was time for a lift home!) .... and THEN due to the hoards and hoards of people it took quite some time to "meet up" with her!! SOOOOO .... I would say 15/16 is the age ... 12/13 was definitely "not" ready for something on that scale (although he liked to think he was - in reality he wasn't!) ... but by 15 ... YES ... 16 ... DEFINITELY ... and after that it doesn't even need saying!! ;D ;D ;D |
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Post by camismom on Aug 9, 2005 13:32:25 GMT -5
Linda.... thank you for the sweet compliment.
Kaiti...thank you too for flipping it around. Not to toot my own horn but Cami has had friends tell her that her mom is cool. There was even a time she had a couple friends over and they were talking about something "confidential" within ear shot of me. One got hush-hush and I overheard the other tell her, "it's ok..Cami tells her mom everything. She's cool." It does feel good to know that. I want to be a mom, a disciplinarian, but I also do want my child and her friends to know I remember what it's like to be a teen and they can come to me with problems and not be judged.
Anne... 16 is about the age I was thinking but even then I imagine I'll still be a nervous wreck about it! As far as spoiling them...they deserve it! Cami was a great help to me with house cleaning over the summer and saved me a lot of time on my weekends so I figured this could be my thank you to her. I am just lucky that my friend just got a good deal of money from the sale of her father's estate and loaned me the money for the tiickets. As far as Andy his concert will be his birthday present...I had that money set aside already. Like I said, he has always loved Journey and missed his one and only past chance to see them due to marrying his first wife instead. LOL He has always said, "I should have gone to the concert instead." ;D
;D ;D
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Post by AnneM on Aug 9, 2005 13:53:03 GMT -5
;D ;D Even at 16 you WILL be a nervous wreck .. I PROMISE you will!! ;D ... and at 17 , and at 18 ... and at ... ;D ;D
On holiday Sam's friend D ... (who is 19) said that his Mum "even at my age" still refuses to go to bed until he is "In" ... and I thought and SAID "Yep!! That's me as well!" ... and I know its also YOU ... and pretty much all of us right here!! ;D ;D
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Post by camismom on Aug 9, 2005 13:55:38 GMT -5
;D ;D Even at 16 you WILL be a nervous wreck .. I PROMISE you will!! ;D ... and at 17 , and at 18 ... and at ... ;D ;D That probably explains why everytime I talk to my mom before heading out somewhere I get, "ok..well, be careful." ;D ;D |
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Post by AnneM on Aug 9, 2005 13:59:05 GMT -5
;D OMG!! YOU AS WELL CHRISTY? I am 46 years old ... my mother is 73 ... and she still worries, worries, worries about me and my two sisters (who are 45!) .. ;D ;D Sheeeeeesh!! ... and I was always told it was only for 18 years you had to worry!!  Nope!! its a "LIFETIME" sentence!! ;D ;D ;D |
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Post by Kaiti on Aug 9, 2005 14:25:44 GMT -5
Well, I just make my mom worry still  We gave all the info for the boat to her as a just in case safety thing....like if there was a coast guard rescue, they could here across the scanner first hand Then again we heard my In-laws apartment fire come across a few years ago. :Pboy was that scary til we got over there Anyhow, we had parents that we could trust, and I hope to be one of them. So far the kids at SACC know that they can complain to me so I try to put things into perspective from a "mom, but not their mom" point of view |
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