Tired..over-stressed..overall "burnt out"

[camismom]

This post is completely and totally a therapy thing for me in just allowing me a way to get it off my chest. My mother is not one that I can call anymore, my dh doesn't completely understand try as he may(we had this convo just last week) and I know my bf has to be tired of hearing it, so I'm typing it for the world to see if they stumble across it.

I am so tired. Tired of work, tired of never having enough time, tired of battling the ever-constant battle to keep the weight off, tired of dealing with ADHD and it's struggles, tired of the fight with my pre-teens new pre-teen behaviors, tired of the constant health problems of my mom's, tired of life in general.

Don't take this wrong, I am not suicidal, just stressed. I get up every morning at 4:30 and exercise, get ready for work while I "fight" with my dd to get ready on time, come to work where I spend eight hours (not counting lunch), go home help with homework, do house chores, exercise some more, go to bed and get up the next day to do it all again. Throw in Tuesday night tumbling, Wednesday night church, soon to be Thursday night softball games for dh, and any other thing that comes about (like frequent hospital stays with my mom) and I never stop. I pass out each night when I get to bed, and am always tired. I feel myself being angry at the world. I grumble through my days and don't feel like being bothered by anyone. I laugh at myself sometimes as I hear the out-lud comments I make to the "morons" on the road as I drive to work in the morning. I feel myself grumbling about everything and not truly enjoying anything anymore. I do all this "stuff" I absolutely do not want to do (exercise, work, clean, etc) and hate every minute of it but do it because I know I have to. I have become quite a bear to be around at times, and know I must be difficult to live with. I want so bad to just stop it all, give it all up, and yet I know I can't. I have to work, unless I want to live in sub-standard housing as my dh puts it. I grew up on welfare, food-stamps, and in the projects. I don't want to return. I have to exercise to keep my own health good and weight down so I don't follow in my mom's foot steps. I have to help my dd and fight for her - noone else will. I have to... and that in itself is stress inducing. I need a break, but don't know any possible way to get it. My dh tells me I have to just let it go and not let everything bother me so bad. I wish it was that easy. I really do. I look at what I do have - a wonderful husband that adores me, a healthy daughter, a nice home, a nice car, a good paying job, my health, etc. I tell myself it could be worse. At least I have a job to go to. Some people who desperately need one don't. I tell myself "so what my dd has ADHD, at least I have a dd. I know peiple that would give anything for a child and can't have one." I tell myself as I'm grueling on the elliptical
"at least your able to do so. Some people can't even get out of bed." All this makes me feel better for a while, but I can't help but to drift back to the negatives. Life would be so much better if I didn't have to work. Work interferes with my life. I would have more time with Cami, more time to be there for my mom, more time period. Oh, if I could only find a way...

There is no solution to this. No fix. I just have to find a way to cope. Wish me luck, and sorry for the rambling. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.

God bless you all...

[rosyred45]

Rant and ramble away Christy, Ralph let me yesterday, so now is your turn.

I don't have really any advice, except to say been there time and time again. I'd like to run away from it all a lot, but like you, I can't.

If it makes you feel better, I'm only working part time, my house, well, let's just say those flylady babysteps seem to get sidetracked. I'm a clutter bug, so we have hot spots mania going on over here since I started to clean out the filing cabinet.

One thing that makes me feel better, I don't know if you can or not, but I'll blast whatever music I feel like at the time, grab a trash bag and start tossing. I did this before flying, and it always helped. I just start tossing. (Sometimes I do go back and get it out of the bag though, oops) But it makes me feel like I have less junk to look at. And less junk to look at means less junk to clean, and less junk to clean means

:DMORE TIME ON THE COMPUTER

oK, YES cORny, bUT iT wOrKs.
SMILE, IT MAKES THE WORLD WONDER WHAT YOUR UP TO ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
kAITI

[finnmom]

Camismom!
First; you´re not the only one ;D Been there, done that

It´s just life! Sometime´s it feel´s like everything is coming over you and you can just stand still and wait to get buried under it

This is stressfull, there is no real help or solution for that! For me, usually getting on walk by myself help´s a lot! I,as Rosyred, sometime´s get my stresslevel down by tossing thing´s away, it help´s ;D for a while ;D

You have so much going on, that you have all the right to feel down! Let yourself feel depressed, miserable, weep a little bit, loose that extra activities for a little while and let yourself to rest! After that you´ll have more energy to do everything needed.

)))))))))HUGS((((((((

Marja

[camismom]

Thanks you two. As I always say, sometimes it helps just a little to know someone out there does understand. I think I'll feel some better when Spring gets here and I can spend some time on the weekends in the great outdoors. Here lately, I find myself mad at the world. I even get mad at my husband because he has no problem reaching his fitness goals, while I get nowhere with mine and he's four and a half years older! I don't let him know that, but still pitiful...

[rosyred45]

Christy,
If I could have my husband's metabolism for a few days, I'd be fine. My problem is the German in me likes all the thick sauces and sausages and all the good stuff to eat.

Thank God I can say I had kids, at least I can get away with that one....Yeah, well, it's from having a baby. No I didn't just have one, he's 6 years old. ;D

But unlike my sister I have kids

OPPs that wasn't nice,
Kaiti ;D ;D

[finnmom]

Pitifull, mayby, but OH SO HUMAN! ;D Camismom!

I know Iám reaching the end of my rope when I dont want to go to sleep, So tired, but dont want to go to bed, have to sit still, with noone messing around. next morning really suck´s ;D, and next evening the same goes on.....

I gues we are suffering from "dedicated mother and wife"-syndrom in here ;D

Marja

[camismom]

Kaiti, LOL! I don't have any German in me, but I do have a bad sweet tooth, and a love of bread! It's a shame that everything that taste good is fattening! hehe And hey, my child is 12, so the mother excuse don't quite fly for me anymore either! ;D

Marja, I like that term. Dedicated mom and wife syndrome. Yep, I'm a first class sufferer! Pity there's no cure!

[finnmom]

Camismom; they say it just get worse by the time,too. So there is no hope it just getting over ;D

Marja

[mom2tj]

will 1st of all "MY HAT TO YOU" for getting up to excercise I should but dont... weight has been an issue for all my life but I havent made is a priority I know I should but you all know how it goes...

I hope you feel better getting all this suff off your chest I know sometime we just need to vent to someone other then our spouses I know for me even if my DH is my partner there are things I just rather tell someone else someone how wount have a fix for me how will just lissen.... I saw a show yesterday "ellen Degeneres" and a guest said that.. it made me think... its true sometimes we dont want a fix we want an ear.

[Jorgy]

Kristy, You are living my life! I HATE the I have to's. Well I don't excerse anymore 'cause if I drop dead it will be with a smile on my face, chocolate in my mouth and a Baileys in my hand. I will also probably be locked in the bathroom in a hot bubble bath! ;D The house will wait. IThe family can wait. No one benifits if mom can't do it anymore and mom deserves a bread now and then! Sounds like your tank is on empty and needs filling! Only you can fill it so you go girl and don't feel guilty about it. Also don't apologize for venting we have all had these feelings... we are moms and do the hardest job in the world. ;D Love ya, Sue

I mean break and if bread is involved I'll have that too!

[rosyred45]

Make sure the bread has plenty of butter and is topped with cinnom and sugar!!!!!!!! ;D

[aimee30]

I may not be much help but we have all been there. Sometimes it seems to go on for days. Try to find at least a half hour to do something just for Christy. You deserve it. Take a calgon break. I took one earlier today and feel much better.

On a different note.....Maybe this will make you smile.
I'm not great with the abbreviations yet and while reading your first post on this subject it said something about DH (this one I know) and right after that it said something about BF (this one I didn't recognize). At first I thought you meant boyfriend. I was so confused. ;D It took me a good ten minutes before I got it.

As DH says...."What color are your roots?"

[Dad2Brooke]

Maybe on a night when your not tumbling (Tuesday), churching (Wednesday) or playing softball (Thursday), DH could watch Cami and let you have a girl's night out with your bf. Maybe weekly, maybe monthly.

The point is to get away from them all and enjoy yourself!

My wife goes out dancing with her friends one Saturday night a month. She blows off steam, talks bad about me, dances with other men , and gets it all out of her system. Rested, rejuevenated and recharged.

Oh, and about the out loud comments to the morons on the road, if it wasn't for that I would have lost my sanity long ago. (You ever notice your the only non-moron out there, makes you wonder what the other drivers think)

That and the loud music therapy Kaiti prescribed.

I find Pink Floyd's "The Wall" especially therapuetic.

[Linda]

Been there done that still doing that!!!!!What helps me with stress is walking walking walking I think all that stress effects most women because we are responsible for so many things....sorry guys...but I really believe this.

Ralph...ask your wife if i can be a tag along...I love to dance!Pink Floyd"s The Wall?Know every word!

[rosyred45]

Well, after you get done your "WALL" boogie, you can chill out in a dark room and, a little quieter, lie back and listen to "COMFORTABLY NUMB"

Yeah, yeah, it took my husband explaining the meaning of that one. I just like the soothing effect it has. It is just IT.
Can anyone tell I did not grow up in a city?
Kaiti