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Post by Jorgy on Feb 18, 2004 11:52:52 GMT -5
I have a 5 yr old very naughty nonADHD (ADHD wannabe) son. I have been recieving many calls from his Kindergrten teacher about his naughty and disrespectful behavior. My husband and I have had it! Quite frankly at this point I would like to beat him!!!!  . We have a two fold problem in that we personally know the teacher and are friends with her. Also Pete is so cute... and knows it. He also knows how to turn on the tears which gets him what he wants at school, not at home. At this time we are sending him straight to bed if we get a call from his teacher. He is getting lots of rest and doesn't like it. He is not allowed to play in bed or have the light on or the door open. Very boring. I don't know what else to do with him! As it is winter here we can't take outside fun away and during the week there is no TV or playstation so can't do anything there. I have to mention that we have 3 older kids and no disciplinary problems at school with them, even our ADHDer. There just has to be one in a group I guess and he is mine!  Any suggestions out there? HELP!!! Sue |
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Post by Honeysmom on Feb 18, 2004 12:43:41 GMT -5
If I remember correctly you have older kids too right? If he looks up to one of them maybe have them talk to him and tell him that it is really not cool to misbehave in school. Sometimes comming from some other than mom and dad it sticks better.
Another thing that was suggested to me when punishments didn't help was to reward the rest of the kids. One child physchologist said that if Honey saw what he was missing out on it may motivate him to change his behaviors. I never did it, the doc also agreed that there was a degree of meanness to it, since it would be delibertly planned on the part of the parent.
Good luck...Becky
BTW, How was vacation???
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Post by Linda on Feb 18, 2004 13:07:54 GMT -5
Sue,When you figure it out let me know....I have a 6 year old grandson who will be 7 sunday,and he acts the same way. He has been naughty since kdgn....now in first grade.He seems to get in his most trouble at lunch time.
He lives next door to me.He is also not ADHD...although he has a lot of the traits of an ADHD child. Anyway his whole class is on a behavior chart at school,so I printed out some behavior charts and when he gets a green in school which is good,he colors in his chart at home and when he earns 5 green he gets rewarded. The reward is usually a computer game which he loves.It is not perfect but I have had some success with it and he is really proud of himself.
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Post by AustinsMom on Feb 18, 2004 15:27:27 GMT -5
When we have had problems with our child (who is ADHD), we have found that the only thing that works is positive reinforcement. It sounds trite cause that's what all the behavioral textbooks say, but we have found it to be true. With us, it was as simple as the teacher picking one thing she wanted to see improve--for us it was time in his chair--and she rated it one a scale of 1-5 each day. We have a behavioral program at home anyway, so we just assigned points for each number that he could earn, which he "buys" things with, like TV or video time. The teacher (who insisted that she was giving him positive feedback, although we doubted it) was amazed at how quickly that behavior turned around. Then we picked a different behavior once that was in place. We also had a time out when he gets home for a 1 rating, but he never scored nearly that low. So it never was time consuming for her or us. Hope you find something that helps. BTW...how was your vacation??
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Post by swmom on Feb 18, 2004 15:56:16 GMT -5
I have to ditto the positive reinforcement idea. That's been very helpful and it also gets us out of the negative atmosphere that constant punishment creates.
Another thought as well...could his behavior - even as bad as you say it is - be an attention-getting thing? Could he be saying notice me?
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Post by Jorgy on Feb 18, 2004 21:27:16 GMT -5
Thanks guys! I knew I was coming to the right place for advice. First of we had a great time in Miami! ;D I wish we were back there in the 80 degree weather and NO snow. I don't miss all the noise and traffic of a huge city. I guess I'm just a country girl. I was glad to see the fields and hear the quiet. We didn't miss the kids and they didn't miss us. Now back to darling little Pete. We tried positive reinforcement but had problems as all 4 kids wanted to do it. It was too much to keep track of and then we found Jake (the ADHDer) adding points to everyone so they could all be equal. He has a big heart. Pete's problem isn't looking for attention as much as always wanting to be the center of attention. He also said he thinks he is being cool like the big kids. His older brothers informed him that this was otherwise. Makes no difference. It seems that he is spoiled (by me) and does exactly what he wants to. He attitude is that he knows everything. I got him today though. I talked to the teacher after school. He was very naughty again today but told us he was good. He was suprised that I talked with the teacher again and really upset that he had to go to bed at 7:00 tonite. We will be meeting with the teacher on Friday and discussing ways to deal with this. I will bring up the positive reinforcement idea and work off that. I wish I was still on vacation  Sue |
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Post by adhdtimes4 on Feb 20, 2004 23:52:02 GMT -5
Kevin Leman, the guy who wrote the birth order book, called the youngest child the family mascot/clown. He says they often grow up to be entertainers and salesmen who know how to get - and keep - attention. Our youngest certainly fits this mold, and sounds like yours does to. So hopefull the positive attention will work.
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Post by Jorgy on Feb 21, 2004 22:48:24 GMT -5
Thank you 4, We met with the teacher and are putting him on a positive chart. When he has a good day he gets a sticker on the chart. At the end of the week if he has a lot of positive days he gets an award. He wants a fake tatoo! Easy enough. The teacher said that this week she will make sure he has more good days than bad so that he will not fail on the first week. I think this will work. He wants to try this and we figured it out with his help. Thanks guys, Sue
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Post by finnmom on Feb 23, 2004 12:09:38 GMT -5
Jorgy  I hope it´ll work for you! Keeping my finger´s grossed! I have a little similar situationin here, but only with my middle-one, dd5 is such a good at selfishness and attention-seeking. ;D i try to ignore the bad and enforce the good, we are still on the way.....  BTW: good thing that your holiday went well, it´s always nice to come home! Anyway, I hope you have a succesfull week! Marja |
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