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Post by milesofsmiles on Aug 12, 2005 13:30:13 GMT -5
The other day Nate decided to be a stand up comic. He fired off about 20 one line jokes in a row. (The power of a photographic memory) Anyway, thought it might be cute start a post to share a few jokes each day. Only post the ones you can tell or hear from your kids. For instance: Where do you take a sick horse??? To the Horsepital Why was the elephant sitting on the marshmellow? Because the cocoa was too hot. What do you do when an elephant hurts its toe? Call a toe truck. You get the idea, something short and corny. ;D Have a laugh, or a smile Miles  |
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Post by Kaiti on Aug 12, 2005 13:54:05 GMT -5
My personal alltime favorite, that I actually remembered (I heard it the first time I had a shot of tequila  ) 2 nuns walk into a bar, the 3rd one ducked ;D ;D ;D |
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Post by Linda on Aug 12, 2005 14:04:43 GMT -5
This isn't a joke but I laughed:
When Paul was about 2 or 3 it was sprinkling outside and he looked up at the sky and said: Dad the sky is weaking ;D ;D ;D He couldn't say his L's. ;D ;D ;D
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SKay
Member Emeritus
Posts: 1,126
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Post by SKay on Aug 12, 2005 16:08:19 GMT -5
Our family favorites:
What's a shark's favorite game? . . . Swallow the Leader
What did the clown say to the doctor? . . . I feel sorta funny.
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Post by tridlette on Aug 15, 2005 13:48:39 GMT -5
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It was feeling crumby.
What do you call a fish with no "I"s? A "ffff shhh"
What do you call a deer with no "I"s? I have no idear. (Massachusetts accent helps!)
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Post by camismom on Aug 17, 2005 12:11:18 GMT -5
What kind of anumal should you avoid playing games with? ...... a "cheetah".
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SKay
Member Emeritus
Posts: 1,126
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Post by SKay on Aug 17, 2005 16:19:35 GMT -5
I'm not sure this falls into the "short" category.
How many country-western singers does it take to change a lightbulb? 5--one to put the new one in and 4 to stand around singing about how much they'll miss the old one
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SKay
Member Emeritus
Posts: 1,126
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Post by SKay on Aug 17, 2005 16:40:29 GMT -5
I just told DS that his name is Dorfus, and he got offended! ;D I told him that it's just supposed to make him laugh and he said, "Well, it didn't make me laugh." ;D  I guess I accidentally posted this here; that's why I couldn't find it under the thread about our "real" name.  |
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Post by milesofsmiles on Aug 19, 2005 1:52:35 GMT -5
Why did the gorilla throw the clock across the room? He wanted to see time fly. ;D
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Post by Kaiti on Aug 19, 2005 7:31:51 GMT -5
Knock Knock
Who's there
Lion
Lion Who
I'm LION on your front porch and I want to come in
;DThat's the first joke I remember reading off the side of a happy meal ;D
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Post by tridlette on Aug 20, 2005 10:27:12 GMT -5
Solve the riddle... the gangster was found shot dead in his car, and he died instantly. The car was locked, the windows were all the way up, the gun wasn't there and none of the windows were broken. How did it happen?
Simple... it was a convertible and the top was down!
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Post by milesofsmiles on Aug 21, 2005 7:28:30 GMT -5
Where does a rose go to rest? A flower bed
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Post by camismom on Aug 28, 2005 19:00:58 GMT -5
What do you call someone else's chees? .......... Nacho cheese! ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Linda on Aug 29, 2005 7:06:45 GMT -5
Reality joke of the day:
First day of school here and Jacob is begging me to go early....He says....I promise to keep my hands and feet to myself....that in itself is a JOKE!!! ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Brocksmom on Oct 5, 2005 18:12:05 GMT -5
A man came home from work and found his five children outside, still in
their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers
strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house
and there was no sign of the dogs.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had
been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the
family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the
kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the
counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the
floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was
spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles
of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or
that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the
bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy
soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay
in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the
bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled,
and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come
home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
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