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Jokes!
Jan 2, 2005 23:20:10 GMT -5
Post by songwriter on Jan 2, 2005 23:20:10 GMT -5
Let's share some of our favorite jokes- (One person posts, others try to guess the punch line). I'll start. How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer?  |
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Jokes!
Jan 3, 2005 11:56:42 GMT -5
Post by tridlette on Jan 3, 2005 11:56:42 GMT -5
;D There is white out all over your screen.
Next joke:
How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? ;D
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Jokes!
Jan 3, 2005 13:41:21 GMT -5
Post by songwriter on Jan 3, 2005 13:41:21 GMT -5
None- cause somebody else (who is less distracted) will get tired of waiting and take the initiative.
or
what lightbulb?
or
Cant we fix the old one somehow?
or
Do you like my new sweater?!
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Jokes!
Jan 3, 2005 13:44:48 GMT -5
Post by finnmom on Jan 3, 2005 13:44:48 GMT -5
How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? ;D srew in a lightbulb  Before or after it´s taken to hundred little peace´s to see what´s in it .......and then let to lay on the table.... |
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Jokes!
Jan 3, 2005 14:23:01 GMT -5
Post by tridlette on Jan 3, 2005 14:23:01 GMT -5
 Okay, I admit it was an unfair question. The right answer is ONE... the rest of the world revolves around him, doesn't it? So... next question... What is the longest road in Poland? Edited to add... did I happen to mention that I was born female, left handed, and blonde, to Polish parents in West Virginia... which is admitting I have at least 5 strikes against me... And no offense meant against the Polish people. I believe there are really only 4 Polish jokes... the rest are all true... I know because of the wonderful mishaps my family has experienced over the many years in America! Please do not be offended by my joke!
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Jokes!
Jan 3, 2005 15:51:02 GMT -5
Post by finnmom on Jan 3, 2005 15:51:02 GMT -5
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sportsmom
Member Emeritus
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Posts: 1,171
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Jokes!
Jan 4, 2005 8:58:28 GMT -5
Post by sportsmom on Jan 4, 2005 8:58:28 GMT -5
Trid,
I can relate to the polish heritage----I am also polish. When my dad introduced me to his girlfriend (now my stepmom) I was about 9 or 10 and she told me a polish joke and I looked at her and was totalled appalled and told her in a nasty tone "I am polish!!". We look back on that now and laugh ;D
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Jokes!
Jan 4, 2005 12:05:49 GMT -5
Post by songwriter on Jan 4, 2005 12:05:49 GMT -5
I'm going to take a stab at the 'longest road' joke-
Is it a CIRCLE DRIVE?
(Youve heard about the Pole who ran himself to death in a round barn, looking for a corner to pee in, right?.)
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Jokes!
Jan 4, 2005 13:32:52 GMT -5
Post by tridlette on Jan 4, 2005 13:32:52 GMT -5
Yes, it is Circle Drive!
My absolute favorite joke is about an American, an Englishman, and a Polish man all lost in the woods together. They get captured by the natives, who tell them they need their hides to recover their birch bark canoes. They say to the American... "you are first... you must die, but we are humane... you may allow us to use our regular method, or you may take your own life."
The American says I don't want to die, but if I must, give me a knife and I will slit my wrists and be done with it. After he bleeds to death, the first canoe is recovered.
They natives say to the Englishman the same thing, and he states that he also doesn't wish to die, but alas, if he must, give him the knife. The second canoe is covered.
They continue to the Pole, who says to the natives, "I don't want to die either but if I must, I will take my own life. Give me a fork." The natives laugh, thinking they have just witnessed profound stupidity, but they grant him his wish and hand him a fork.
The Pole stabs himself repeatedly with the fork and screams with his dying breath, "HA HA HA... try to use my hide on your canoe and you will simply sink from all the holes!"
And the moral is... we... those with Polish heritage... are truly smarter than the rest of the world... and like the crazy fox... are just lying in wait to spring our surprise on the rest of the world! ;D
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Jokes!
Jan 5, 2005 10:41:09 GMT -5
Post by songwriter on Jan 5, 2005 10:41:09 GMT -5
What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney?
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Jokes!
Jan 5, 2005 11:29:00 GMT -5
Post by tridlette on Jan 5, 2005 11:29:00 GMT -5
"Yes I smoke, but I don't inhale."
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Jokes!
Jan 5, 2005 12:17:44 GMT -5
Post by songwriter on Jan 5, 2005 12:17:44 GMT -5
That works, although I've heard it as " your too young to smoke"
What do you call a cow with no legs?
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Jokes!
Jan 5, 2005 14:58:24 GMT -5
Post by finnmom on Jan 5, 2005 14:58:24 GMT -5
milktank??? (or what ever is it that contains milk on farm´s)
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Jokes!
Jan 5, 2005 15:36:57 GMT -5
Post by sweety on Jan 5, 2005 15:36:57 GMT -5
Love the light bulb joke. If you asked Rose you would get a 15 minute talk on Thomas Edison (one of her heros) then a talk about how to make a light bulb, then a talk on her 3rd grade class (she was Thomas Edison in a book review she did) then a talk on her 3rd grade teacher, then a talk on...... ;D ;D
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Jokes!
Jan 5, 2005 17:56:23 GMT -5
Post by rosyred45 on Jan 5, 2005 17:56:23 GMT -5
dang, I just had a good one and Tara started playing the piano ???I'll be back ;D
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