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Post by kajunmomma03 on Jul 31, 2005 10:27:36 GMT -5
 I have a new husband, which is my 10 year olds new step dad and they are like fire and water. Sam (the new husband) tries to help me out when I am plum worn out from Logan's triades, and Lagan loves to get his blood boiling by throwing it in his face you are not my dad so shut the Fu-- up and leave me alone.  Then we get Logan stable and he is the loving and wanna be the perfect step son. So any advice how to deal with this??? 
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Post by finnmom on Jul 31, 2005 10:54:23 GMT -5
Hi K I just replyed your other post at the behaviour. How long have you been living together, could it be adjusting still? 10y old is a bit nasty age for change´s, it´ll take some time, plus it sound´s like yous ds has A LOT to think about, this step-dad situation is obviously very hard to deal with(always is) not knowing how long have you dealt with this, has the situation changed lately etc. I´d just give him some time to realize that both you and your new dh do love and take care of him no matter what he does... he´s testing you and dh, dont let him to get to you, praise the good time´s and let the bad one´s go away silently, hard to do i know but worth of trying I think.... |
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Post by Linda on Jul 31, 2005 11:27:50 GMT -5
I think it is an adjustment period too....but I think I would try and get a handle on Logan's "potty mouth". That is not acceptable behavior. |
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Post by kajunmomma03 on Jul 31, 2005 17:18:04 GMT -5
Thanks all of ya'll. We were living together for 2 years before we got married. Logan really loves him but I quess he will try anything and see what he gets away with.
As far as his mouth, I quess it is true what you hear is what you day, that is how his dad and stepmother talk to each other frequently, so I am in for a long road on that end...
Lord help me, LOL
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Post by tridlette on Aug 1, 2005 9:26:55 GMT -5
Try to be the stable family for him... be predictable. Just because you are tired, don't excuse his behavior. If you have to say, "I don't want to hear those words in this house. Go to bed and we will discuss the consequences in the morning" At least you have set the standard. You can't stop him from hearing the words in other places, but try to keep them out of your home.
And let him know that the love is unconditional. No matter what he does, you still love HIM, but you do not have to tolerate bad behavior.
I think you are doing a fantastic job. He tolerates the discipline standards in the home, and reacts normally no matter WHO is the discipliner at the moment. We all get angry and hurt when we are caught misbehaving, and it is expected that we " Don't like" them for a while. But if his anger is short lived and he returns to a happy loving relationship quickly, you are doing it right!
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Post by camismom on Aug 1, 2005 11:04:07 GMT -5
Welcome to the world of step-families. They can be lots of fun sometimes! lol
I have been with my dd's step-dad for ten years and she still has her moments like that. I think it is a control issue and sometimes resentment that the real parent isn't there. No matter how much a child loves the step-parent they are always going to really want the real parents together instead...and I'm sure look at the step-parent as "in the way" of that happening again.
If you two lived together two years before marriage then the adjustment period should be over. Again, I would call it a control issue. Plus, I agree with Trid.... anytime a kid gets in trouble they will lash out at the person doing the disciplining. If he is back to his loving self after he calms down, then I wouldn't worry about this part too much. The F word coming out of his mouth is what I'd be focusing on.
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Post by Linda on Aug 1, 2005 11:33:36 GMT -5
The F word coming out of his mouth is what I'd be focusing on. So true!!!I would be afraid that word would get carried over to school |
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Post by kajunmomma03 on Aug 1, 2005 21:36:08 GMT -5
Thanks everyone, well today he ate soap twice and has finally understood I am not going to put up with any form of obcenity and variations to the F word, now I think he really hates oil of olay soap, I wanted to laugh watching soap bubbles springing from the sides of his mouth, but now he is scared to even say a rhyming word close to the F word, lol
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Post by Kaiti on Aug 2, 2005 9:32:49 GMT -5
I wonder if it tastes anything like Lava soap or Palmolive dish liquid ;DI never liked those tastes ;D But it worked for my mom, I never cussed in front of her until I was delivering Tara 8-)I still don't really. Any how, I don't really know much about step families, but I think it's the age. My daughter is 10 1/2 and has been getting her attitude here and there.....you know the lifes not fair......might as well go eat worms.....pity party thing Jeez, I wasn't that bad was I ;D ;D ;D |
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Post by milesofsmiles on Aug 2, 2005 9:46:59 GMT -5
Was it bar soap, or liquid. Nate got some liquid soap, it was a lot easier to put a squirt in. ;D ;D I got to thinking, is the child supposed to take the bite/squirt on their own? Hmmm Miles  |
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Post by Kaiti on Aug 2, 2005 9:50:04 GMT -5
Mike's mom tried to "show him" and he bit a chunk out of the bar of soap See, my kids get their rebelious side from their father ;D ;D |
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Post by Linda on Aug 2, 2005 9:53:44 GMT -5
What you need to do is rub a bar of soap across there front teeth ;D ;D ;D
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Post by milesofsmiles on Aug 2, 2005 10:01:13 GMT -5
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Post by Kaiti on Aug 2, 2005 10:18:22 GMT -5
I like that idea, gets the chunks for later tasting ;D ;D ;D
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Post by milesofsmiles on Aug 2, 2005 14:52:57 GMT -5
Hmmmm, think the is a market for Soap LA (long acting), XR (extended release). ;D ;D Miles
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