mad pissed mad

[aaa-alison]

Usually, I am totally fly nice girl but I am very mad at my husband. I started my new great job at ACE this week but completely missed my psych. appointment that was clearly written on my calender.

I get caught up and obsessive and blind sometimes. Well the sessions are to make my hubby and my relationship better.

I am so pissed and mad because he saw it on the calender and just assumed that since I didn't mention it I decided not to go. Like hello, these sessions are designed to marriage counseling sessions. And we have to pay for the d**n thing if we go on not.

Doesn't he care about the money factor enough to say. Well honey, if your blowing it off then call and cancel. Like I know that he is not responsible for me all the time, but it makes me so angry.

It's like he sees stuff on my calender that I overlook and then says-oh well I didn't think you wanted to go. I guess he is not responsible-I am but it makes me want to scream. -A

[finnmom]

aaa

I´am sorry for you. But based on my nearly 10 y experience of marriage, this is more common than exeption in married life. Men are built differently, they think straight ahead, no turn-over´s or exit route´s ;D so he propably didnt do it on purpose, he´s just a men.

You know those one´s, whit whom you have to grinch your theet and still cant live without them ;D as I said, take woman(mom) and men, give them some really difficult problem and see how different out-come is

I hope today is better for you!!

Marja

[rosyred45]

ohhhhhh alison......
well, hoping that today is better for ya.........

Got one better for ya, my turn to vent.
-We got a fence for free from a guy I grew up with, well, it's been a week and do you think it's up yet.......
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
His friend was supposed to help put it up, so I bought a flat of flowers for him to give his mom as payment >:(Still not up. I am sooooo pissed.
AND the yard looks like crap, his Sh** is all over, I swear it looks like trailer trash central------and we aren't even in a trailer

And guess who gets to hear about it all from the land lord<<<<<<<<<<<,me
YUP MEN ARE NOT ON MY LIST OF WONDERFUL PEOPLE TODAY
Let's see-----shower finally got fixed, EXCEPT THE STUPID THING IS DEFECTIVE AND LEAKS

OH WHY WON'T THEY COMMIT ME NOW......I MIGHT GET A VACATION
KAITI

[aimee30]

While everyone else is venting, can I? DH has been remodeling our kitchen since the first of March. It still isn't done.

The kids keep spilling stuff on the subfloor and I better not get blamed if we have to replace it before we finish putting the tile down. I still have boxes of canned goods and some small appliances sitting in the living room floor. The kitchen table is sitting in the living room in front of the window where my AC is. It has been mid 80's this week and I'm about to die.

I'm ready to hire someone to come in and get it done.

[Honeysmom]

First, adivce--I would totally bring this up at the next session!!

Next, rant, my DH is on my poop list also. I am driving this huge POS car. The brakes are squeeking so bad and the exhaust is so loud I actually was embaressed at the Goodwill last week! He just bought a $200 car to drive to and from work and it is better than mine. (Actually, he got a REALLY good deal on it) But he had the nerve to say to me, "I can't wait to get my car on Sunday so I something to do at night other than watch TV."

I cannot beleive those words actually came out of his mouth! If he is soooo bored with TV he could've started with my car, maybe then a bath for the kids, possibly some dishes or a load of laundry? He knows he is walking on this ice with his evening routines now.

Makes ya wonder what, if anything sometimes, they are thinking???

I have always beeen a firm beleiver in choosing your demeaner and such, but the more he channel surfs, demeaner I get!!!

Becky

[rosyred45]

oh and forget it when hockey is on, or star trek, or ,,,,,you get the point.

HE finally got the shower working.yeehaw, but the fence is still in my way. I have no where to put it because the other peices of the fence that I could lean it on have already been measured and are ready to stain and go up. Can't do that because I don't have any money to go get the stupid brushed with. I'd use a rag, except I already started with the brushes, so I don't want it to look different.

Man, another day another thing to be ticked about
Kaiti

[aaa-alison]

Life is better. I just really needed to get drunk. Sometimes you just need that altered perception state to help deal with life. I only really drink when I'm home-so don't worry I'm not driving. Thank you all for being so caring. I think women just think differently about points of view and such. Communication is the key or (b***ching or whatever) when dealing with the man, cause it is never our fault -right! (lol)

I love you guys. I wouldn't be as happy or healthy as I am today without you all. Hang in there. Life is filled with moments and your about to have many more happy ones. Just keep on keeping on and you'll get by. Love-a

[HooDunnit]

My ADHD-son is 17 and 1/2 and has anger managment problems. He even admits it himself. I just hope that he doesn't start turning to alcohol or something else for support when he is angry. That's one of the things that I am afraid of, as a parent.

[Honeysmom]

Allison,

I am going to have to side with Barry on this one. If you are taking meds you need to be VERY careful with alcohol. It can cause all kinds of side effects.

I don't want to harp on anyone, b/c I am probably the last person to talk...but...if you feel like you NEED to get drunk to deal with some of this stuff you really need to think about it. I think alcochol problems are different for everyone and what is a problem to one person or family is not to another.

Please don't get the impression that I am ripping on you. I wouldn't mention it if I wasn't worried about you...Becky

[aaa-alison]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. Let me tell you first and formost-my ADD makes me the worlds greatest exagerator. I'll say I want to get drunk and have two beers.

I'll say I need a shot and a beer and drink one third of my beer and give my shot to my husband. I used to be a real drinker before medication= that means I'd have three in an evening.

But I hardly drink anymore cause I am scared of the results with the medication. My husband like to drink everyday and encourages me to do the same, but I usually decline.

In fact when he puts alchohal in my drinks I throw them out. He does this cause he wants me to relax and chill out. It has been very hard for me this past year with all my changes.

God none of this sounds good at all does it. Maybe I'll bring this stuff up at the next therapy meeting. Love you all-A.

[Linda]

alison...stay strong...I have to admit and I don't want to make you feel bad,but your husband should not be doing what he is doing...trying to calm you down by putting alcohol in your drinks? Not cool at all ???I would bring this up at your meeting!

[Honeysmom]

Allison, I am so glad that you got back to us!! I was worried that you'd be offended and I am glad that you do not seem to be.

I agree with Linda, that it is not cool to try and sneak liquor into your drinks, but I think his intention is nice. I know that sounds ironic, but it sounds like he is trying to help you feel better. He probably does not know any other way to do it. Men and women think very differntly so sometimes we just have to come out and say what would make us feel better or more relaxed. My DH tells me all the time that I can't get made and him for not being a mind reader.

Maybe next time he is trying to get you to relax, tell him that having a drink with him would be fine, but that is all you want, and it would really make you feel much better if he did X. Maybe something around the house or just listened to you babble on about a bad day or something.

But, if he keeps trying to get you drunk behind your back then I would seriously consider his intentions behind it and speak to the counselor about it.

Good Luck...Becky

[aaa-alison]

Dear Everybody,

Thank you so much for all your kind words. My husband is a wonderful guy who does a lot of great stuff around the house . He does the cleaning, the cooking, works a thirty hour job that starts at 3:00 A.M. in the morning so that we/I can go to the doctor and get better.

He helped to take me from complete inability to being able to live and be happy. He is not the kind of guy putting tons of liquor in my drinks to get me drunk. He is the kind of guy who may give me a shot once a week in my decaf coffee to help me sleep. And he certainly doesn't do this to get me drunk, control me, slap me around or tell me what to do.

He does it cause a shot of alchohal helps me to sleep when I can't. And he does usually tells me when it is in there. And he doesn't do this to deal with me better-we get along great.

He cares about me intensely and completely and he completely takes care of me. I just wanted to set the record straight just in case you may have thought he was a bad guy. He is not. He is a great guy and very loving and thoughtful.

I just got mad and painted a picture of him through my anger that was just not correct. I apologize to everyone for getting worried about me and getting the wrong idea.

My add makes me go off the deep end sometimes and when I'm mad I distort reality in my mind and make it seem worse than it really is. Love you all. Take care. A.

[Linda]

Thanks Alison for clarifying for us...your husband does sound like a caring guy...Take Care...Linda

[Douglas]

I hate to add to the negative side of the debate, but it's true that men just are clueless by choice a good part of the time ...