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Post by buttercup on Jun 21, 2004 11:39:09 GMT -5
How original is that for an ADHD post?
I'm really glad to have found this site. I used to have depression and anxiety, but have managed to lick that with natural remedies. I am taking Ritalin again, but even it's not helping that much.
Now, I am just making a mess of my job. I'm a consultant (writer) and cannot seem to get my work done. I'm hiding...working at home.
I love to work; I love my job; I love the people. I don't want to let everyone down.
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Post by rosyred45 on Jun 21, 2004 12:26:14 GMT -5
Hi Buttercup,
What kind of things do you have to do? Paperwork wise, or other things?
Is there any way that you can right the wrongs from home, or are you like me, a professional procrastinator.
Let us know, then we might be able to help
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Post by Douglas on Jun 30, 2004 11:33:36 GMT -5
Been there ... I know how you feel! It's one of the worst feelings on earth.
But a lot of us understand ...
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Post by buttercup on Jul 8, 2004 9:51:14 GMT -5
MAY DAY MAY DAY!!!!! It's gotten about 1000 times worse. I got a prescription for Ritalin recently. Now I am awake and proctrastinating to the point where things are about to get to a crisis level at work. OMG. Ritalin used to work like a charm, now I am all over the place and don't have an appt. with dr. for a few more weeks. I just hate myself. I hate feeling like such a loser and waste of company money. I want to feel great. I love work. I'm not lazy, but I feel like I am lazy.  |
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Post by rosyred45 on Jul 8, 2004 13:11:04 GMT -5
Buttercup, well, in the general section, under just a lesson, that tells you about me and my job that I don't have anymore. Anyhow, want a good laugh, as of the first of July, I'm whatever the heck I'm called, but I don't work in the summer so that I can be with my kids. Any how, July 1st I walk in and get things situated to help the Director and I found a check htat should have been deposited in the middle of may  I told the director I was going to go down to the bookkeeper adn to wish me luck. She tells me, oh I'll take it, I told her, that's right, your the director now, I can't do that can I. We both laughed, she told me she'd give me enough time to get outta the building before taking it in ;D Yup one last hurah  But I do know what you mean about things getting to crisis level. I've done that before, and I heard about it later, but just start somewhere, make a list of what needs to be done, and start from there. I tried taking some herbal stuff, but all that made me do was hyper focus and not get things done that needed to get done. What else have you tried, any natural remedies? You can look through the natural alternatives that might help a little. I hope you feel better Kaiti |
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Post by buttercup on Jul 8, 2004 13:30:05 GMT -5
Kaiti, thanks again for responding.
I started a thread about all the stuff I'm taking (natural stuff). My depression anxiety are gone thanks to the natural stuff, but my ADHD is just as flaming as ever. Ritalin used to work nicely, now I find I am just surfing the web, message boards, and email for hours without actually working. It's unbelievable. I would be completely embarrassed if anyone actually knew the extent of it.
Actually though...why should I be embarrassed? I mean...I have a condition!! Geez. I am doing everything I can think of and afford to handle this. Ugh.
I really like your suggestions of just starting in where you can. That's what I'm doing today.
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Post by rosyred45 on Jul 8, 2004 14:29:53 GMT -5
When it gets to the crisis level for house cleaning, I start small and just piddle, put pencils away, nail polish back, brushes away, just little things that don't really seem too bad or too much. Heck, me and this stoll know each other pretty good, as soon as I get here, I go everywhere, and if someone else is on, like now, I could spend the whole day in here. Hey, the kids are being good, old enough that I don't have to worry too much, unless they decide to climb out on the roof again  What is it that you do, if you don't mind me asking? |
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Post by buttercup on Jul 8, 2004 14:33:23 GMT -5
I'm supposed to be a technical writer. At the moment, I don't feel qualified to call myself anything but a fake.
I'm trying to do as you suggested, just littel things.
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Post by Douglas on Jul 8, 2004 15:21:09 GMT -5
I wrestle with exactly the same problems, almost all the time --- but I don't understand why you think of yourself as a 'fake'  this seems like you are being unfair to yourself are there people around you who contribute to the feeling that you're letting them down? do they give you a hard time? |
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Post by rosyred45 on Jul 8, 2004 15:31:03 GMT -5
Well, I started doing the reward thing for myself, at the suggestion of Honeysmom. She said she gives herself breaks when she gets done tasks. So Here I am getting relish whipped up, which took about 3 hrs to cut up, BUT I took small 5 minute breaks and then went back. Now I'm waiting for it to be ready, so I have a little bit of time now to play on the comp or what ever I want til it's ready. BUT I have learned, for me personally, that if I have something that I really need to do, I don't turn on the computer, even to check e-mail, I get done whatever it is I need to do, and it is hard. I don't have anyone to answer to except me. And then when push comes to shove, it falls on me and I feel like crap because I procrastinated or palyed all day. I have definately been there.  |
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Post by buttercup on Jul 8, 2004 15:48:50 GMT -5
I call myself a fake because I have been goofing off for like a year and getting away with it. Thank you though. I am actually pretty good at what I do when I can sit still long enough to do it. So, I will modify and say that I am a writer who is struggling very much.
I'm so glad to have found you guys. I don't hate myself as much.
I guess I have to remind myself that my condition could be so much worse. I could have Tourettes, Schizophrenia, Cancer...you name it. I thank God everyday I have a job and that the people are nice to me. I really wish I could figure out a way to do them justice.
I keep thinking, "ok, I'll get back to work in 1/2 hour." Nope, make that another 1/2 hr. Ok, let's really get to in after a nap." Ughhh...I know you know what I'm talking about. It's hideous.
If I have to work on my computer and the internet connection isn't working, I just about freak out. I like to work for a second, surf the web, etc. for 3 hours, then work for 2 minutes. OMG.
Every night I go to bed with the resolution that 'tomorrow will be different. i am going to pull it together.'
One success that is unrelated, but a success nonetheless. I quit biting my nails. I mentioned this on the supplements board and it may have to do with a missing supplement. But I actually have medium long nails that have no bite marks around the cuticle or anything. Wow. I just don't feel like biting. This should be on CNN or something as late breaking news. It's shocking that SOMETHING HAS CHANGED. I am 39 and have bitten since I was in the crib. So, I have hope that I can find solutions for the rest of my things.
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Post by rosyred45 on Jul 8, 2004 17:14:58 GMT -5
You got one step down.......the nail biting. I'm just trying to think of anything that could help you. Besides actually stopping the non work and working. Take a deep breath and suck it up. I hope that didn't sound mean, it was meant to be supportive. I tell myself, suck it up and get it done. The sooner I get it done, the sooner I don't have to worry about it anymore. I need to get a big sign to hang in front of me or something. I actually got quite a bit done on Tuesday, around the house, and on here. I would go outside for half and hour and weed, then I would come inside and fidle a bit on here, then go back outside, then come back. BUT while I was outside, I didn't do the same thing. I couldn't do that now could I? I would weed for a bit, then sweep it away, then make a pile, then through the pile on the lawn, the sweep and come back inside. Then if you toss those around the rest of the day, that's what I did. I know that if I do something one way, alot will get done. I just need to SUCK IT UP and get it done. Glad your feeling better....have a great night |
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Post by HooDunnit on Jul 8, 2004 17:31:34 GMT -5
RE "I'm not lazy, but I feel like I am lazy."
This business about laziness seems to be one of the great myths of ADD / ADHD, perhaps followed by that of irresponsibility. My severely ADHD son is not lazy or irresponsible, he is just highly distractible with a very poor sense of the passage of time. So it's a big management issue, but it's not a character thing. If he doesn't accomplish something, it is not for lack of trying.
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Post by buttercup on Jul 8, 2004 18:04:35 GMT -5
Yah, I try to suck it up. Going to have to here pretty soon. I have been out of control all day long. Make that all year long.
Lordy Lordy!
I know I'm not lazy. Must get back to dr. and get something else.
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Post by rosyred45 on Jul 9, 2004 8:04:06 GMT -5
I can see your not lazy ;D
The distracability that Hoodonit talks about is sooooooo real for us all. Just a matter of what we want at the time. THe greatest gratification for us is to do what we want when we want.
Oh buttercup ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
I hope you can get your appointment soon and try to get this all straightened out
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