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Post by Dad2Brooke on Jul 2, 2004 8:19:24 GMT -5
iansmom's post on Remeron in the Medication Section and LaurieL's response to it inspired this thread.
Brooke is always worrying about what to do next. Often she can't even enjoy something fun that she is doing, because she is concerned about what might be happening next. It really drives my wife and I crazy, that she can't appreciate what she has.
Also, we rarely tell Brooke about anything planned in advance. If she knows, she will ask a million times if is time for the event, and if for some reason it falls through, then it is the end of the world for her.
Finally, she has never been one to delay gratification. If she can get it now, she wants it now. She will chew (if we let her) all 5 pieces of Big Red, rather than save some for tomorrow.
Is this anxiety?
What if any are your experiences with your children's anxiety. If you treat it, how?
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Post by finnmom on Jul 2, 2004 8:31:31 GMT -5
D2B Good question, I´ve wondered the same issues with my ds8. He is also very worried of thing´s, no difference if they seem to be small or huge thing´s. I dont tell him any plan´s until just day or two before it happend´s, because he start´s wondering, asking, thinking and get´s so confused, not to mention if it doesn´t happend like it was told...then I have some heavy explaining to do  He is not allowed to look new´s, because he get´s so consentrated(can you find that funny, adhd and consentrating ;D)and get´s so deep into those new´s that he just cant get over them. Is this anxiety, mayby, or mayby it´s just his adhd-mind that get´s overfocused to something and cant move on I hope someone will have answer to this. |
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Post by rosyred45 on Jul 2, 2004 9:40:08 GMT -5
um, about the gum, I do that  It might not be there tomorrow at my house, so I have to save Mikey don't I  . Seriously, if it's there, someone needs to chew it. Really, not trying to sound smart, But that's why I do things, not necessarily impulsive, sometimes yes, I'll hyper focus on things, but mostly just because it's there I figure might as well use it. If I have my heart set on something, it doesn't matter what, and I get told I can't do something my way, for whatever reason, I still get upset. A couple of years ago, before the house was put up for sale, I wanted to put a grape arbor up along the back of the property. It would have added character and I'd get jelly. The landlord told me no  I was so dead set that she would say yes, I just broke down in tears. I know sounds like a baby getting told no, but with all of the justification that I could think of, there should be a grape arbor in my yard now  I don't know much in reguards to anxiety, I'll have to look at that one. Oh well, one day I'll have my arbor and make y'all some jelly |
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Anxiety
Jul 2, 2004 10:00:32 GMT -5
Post by Linda on Jul 2, 2004 10:00:32 GMT -5
Ralph...I really think it goes with the ADHD.When Paul was younger i learned my lesson the hard way....Do not tell this kid we are going anywhere until it is time to go!!!
Same thing with wanting it now...although he is a lot better about these things now that he is a little older.Besides there are things I want RIGHT NOW!! ;D
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Anxiety
Jul 2, 2004 12:23:25 GMT -5
Post by jdmom on Jul 2, 2004 12:23:25 GMT -5
I've always thought that Jarrett has some anxiety issues, but have never brought it up to his ped, because I really don't want him to take another med. I don't really know if I like what I've heard about some of those meds. Of course, I haven't done as much research into them as I have the meds for ADD/ADHD.
One thing I have noticed is that his Concerta seems to help the anxiety? Does this make sense? I have taken him off his meds for the summer (gained 5 lbs so far, whoo-hoo!) and his anxiety level seems to have increased. He's back to chewing on his clothes when he is nervous again, and that's something that he hasn't done in a while. He also asks me things over and over and over again.
I don't know if the Concerta is supposed to help (maybe just the opposite) but it seems to have done so. I think when he's on the meds, his mind doesn't race as much, and it makes him calmer that way. He's not constantly thinking and worrying.
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Anxiety
Jul 2, 2004 13:25:27 GMT -5
Post by AnneM on Jul 2, 2004 13:25:27 GMT -5
Interesting! ... My first thought is "what exactly IS anxiety?" ... I KNOW I suffer from anxiety and always have (I am not add/adhd BUT I have always had anxiety issues) ... In me they come out as a real fear that something bad is going to happen ... I spent my whole childhood CONVINCED that one of my sisters was going to get some horrible incurable disease! ... It took my life over at that time and yet I couldn't speak to ANYBODY about these fears .. I guess because at the same time I KNEW they were irrational! ... I STILL get anciety problems ... nowadays it is more directed at my son Sam ... I worry, worry, worry ... and YES often irrationally so! ... My husband tells me it is irrational... my MOTHER tells me it is irrational but oh boy I spend a LOT of time worrying! ... I remember an ex-boyfriend from many years ago commenting "The reason you stay slim is based on sheer nervous energy!" and sadly I now know he really had a point! ... At one point my anxiety got sooo bad (3 years ago) that I asked for some help from the Dr. He gave me some antidepressants which were particularly (apparently) good for anxiety ... and WOW!! they helped me SO MUCH !! ... but... I came off them WAY BEFORE he wanted me to because ... (Guess why?) I was putting on weight!! ... However, back to your question ... I am not sure whether what you are describing is "anxiety" as such or an 'impatience' to get on with the next thing ... a "restlessness" ? What i can say is that Sam was JUST like this at Brooke's age! ... but whether this is "anxiety" or sheer impatience/restlessness I am not sure! ... (Based on what I have seen of anxiety I don't know that this is at all the same thing?) Sam has always been easily bored ... and if he is getting bored he is already many steps ahead ... (i.e. what is next?) ... |
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Anxiety
Jul 2, 2004 14:03:53 GMT -5
Post by Dad2Brooke on Jul 2, 2004 14:03:53 GMT -5
I've always thought that Jarrett has some anxiety issues, but have never brought it up to his ped, because I really don't want him to take another med. I agree, I don't want Brooke on another med either. But I worry ( :  that her worrying isn't healthy for her. I know that it is causing problems for her with what few friends she has. It seems to me that the constant worrying over what to do next wear them down and they don't want to play anymore. Not to mention the effect it has on Michelle and I. The constant upheaval is very tiresome. We don't want to play with her, because you can't just do one thing, you have to do them all. I tell you, it is a d@mn shame to say that you don't want to play with your own child, but having ADHD and the anxiety issues (be they part of the ADHD or seperate) just manages to suck all the fun out of it. We've tried redirection, but that does absolutely nothing, as you well know. For children that can't supposedly focus, they can be exceedingly focused when they want to be. |
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Anxiety
Jul 2, 2004 15:46:03 GMT -5
Post by finnmom on Jul 2, 2004 15:46:03 GMT -5
For children that can't supposedly focus, they can be exceedingly focused when they want to be. Amen to that Ralph They can focus way too well sometime´s |
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Anxiety
Jul 2, 2004 16:09:16 GMT -5
Post by AnneM on Jul 2, 2004 16:09:16 GMT -5
Amen to that Ralph They can focus way too well sometime´s Isn't this the "hyperfocus" which is prevalent in our add/adhd'ers? I know if my son is fishing (one of his great loves) he can sit there rigidly for HOURS and his focus is SOOO intense! If only he would give this same focus to his academic work ! |
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Anxiety
Jul 2, 2004 17:27:32 GMT -5
Post by rosyred45 on Jul 2, 2004 17:27:32 GMT -5
Now Anne that would be too easy wouldn't it I really have to read up more on this |
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Anxiety
Jul 3, 2004 23:43:36 GMT -5
Post by hopeful on Jul 3, 2004 23:43:36 GMT -5
It is the current belief of my 7yo son's doctor that most of his adhd symtoms are more likely caused by anxiety. I have brothers that both suffer from a severe form of this.
What I notice about my son when he is anxious, he tends to get very "big, and loud, and hyper". He also is a nail biter and when he's really feeling anxious he'll try sucking on his shirt. He is also self conscience about things that make him nervous.
He's been on buspar which has helped alot with some obvious symtoms: he would want to be in a room with me at all times, unless he was at school (he loves school). He was terribly afraid to go for walks, even when there was a sidewalk on a quiet street.
Since he's comfortable with accidemics, athletics freak him out and he doesn't want to participate. The funny thing here is, he's a good athlete, HE just doesn't FEEL like he is. When his anxieties flare up, he has more nightmares and doesn't sleep as well. He gets frustrated easier (coz he's tired?)
He's having a bit of a flare up now. Thank goodness we have an appointment in a few weeks. He loves summer camp, and is sad it's a holiday on Monday, but there really hasn't been any external things that would be contributing to this current bout. It's been going on since about 2 weeks before school got out. I thought that might be the what was bugging him, and maybe that's what started this whole thing.
Buspar is a really safe anti anxiety med. Many people don't like it because it takes 6 weeks to start working at all, and even then it is subtle. In my son's case, the "real obvious to everyone" symtoms seemed to fade away. However, he still has issues but I've now learned how he reacts to situations and what I can do to help him through it. However, it is still exhausting.
I hope this might shed some light on what anxiety and adhd has meant to us. If it wasn't for my brother's and their openess to talking to me about their own experiences, it might be harder for me to understand. In the beginning, I couldn't tell what was worse, the adhd or the anxiety. In our case, it's been the anxiety.
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Post by rosyred45 on Jul 4, 2004 6:56:33 GMT -5
Hopeful, I'm glad you found something that helps. I never really thought of anxiety for Mikey since it was never brought up, but I can see a bit of it as I read your post. Mikey will get very, um, excited about things and very upset if things don't go his way. That's one reason I never say alot to the kids about planning things. I thought that was normal for kids to act like that. (I act like that sometimes too  )There's why I thought it to be normal My husband's side of the family has terrible shakes, from nervous energy. Even Tara shakes really bad when she first gets up. Almost want to ask her what she drank last night :PIt's that bad, it looks like she withdrawing from something. It doesn't bother us though, but I laugh when they all get together. I tease them all and tell them I'm going to get some ice cream cause I'm in the mood for a milk shake ;D Phew, now I need to research alot more. Thanks Hopeful, anything else particular that you can share about the anxiety, go for it. |
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Post by loveforeric on Jul 7, 2004 2:15:00 GMT -5
Ralph; My ds9 is stilll like that.. He gets anxious about anything that is not readily tangible to him.. We have had to stop telling him what we are doing or what he is getting until it happens. We have soooooo much fun at the holidays. Xmas is not well suited for ds9. takes way too long for his satisfaction. He can worry himself into hyperfocus.... Good Luck, Christina |
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Post by rosyred45 on Jul 7, 2004 8:34:38 GMT -5
The thing with Mikey is that he doesn't deal well with change, I mean any kind of change. Even changing the TV channel or radio station. I have always told him to knock it off. He has gotten better, but jezz.....
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Post by mom2tj on Jul 7, 2004 9:52:06 GMT -5
Gee I had never thought of this as beeing anxiety I am alot like Brook I cant enjoy the present I constantly worry for every little thing its very hard to control I am sure I will get ulcers someday it is realy out of control If Im on vacation I will worry about the bills the house I worry about everything and cant enjoy myself.... the worse thing is I worry about what others will think or say I constantly do this even worry about what my DH will say its really bad the only thing is that I dont tell people I dont want to be a pain with my worryes I was on vacation last week trying hadt to reand a good book I couldnt my mind would wounder off to things that just didnt need to be you might think I'm going off the subject but no because this is what Book will feel like when she is older I was like her as a child except I would keep it to myself I would'nt tell others what I was thinking I just seemed uninterested in what I was doing because my mind was whats next..... DS is not like that totaly we can NEVER tell him what we are doing tomorow and he seems to get overly upset whit new especialy weather he is terified of storms thunder and tornados so much that he refuses to go to any sleepovers with fear of a tornado ( we dont get thoese here!) he can delay gradification acually in terms of candy he gets and wants at all cost but never eats them |
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