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Post by AnneM on Aug 8, 2005 15:10:49 GMT -5
Sam apparently has a " Date" tomorrow ! .. I have only JUST heard this information from dh!! ... Sam told DH over the weekend !! DH didn't "think" to mention it to me until today!! ... Sam has also not thought to mention it!!  Sam was apparently asking DH "where" would be a nice place to take her ... DH was USELESS and was suggesting places that kids under 18 years of age would simply not be allowed into!! When I said to dh that they would simply NOT be allowed in those places (due to age) he said "Oh... I hadn't actually THOUGHT of that!" ... OMG !This needs a "female" interception!! ... ;D ;D Anyway ... what DOES seem to be becoming a pattern is .. that when it comes to discussions about "girls" Sam turns to dh rather than me !! (foolish boy !! ;D ;D) .. and seriously thats ok !! I am absolutely fine with that AS LONG AS DH LEARNS TO ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS!! ... For example dh has NOT found out the Name, exact age, location, what does she DOOO etc. of the girl concerned!! ... ALLLL he has found out is that she is a girl who has liked Sam for some time and he has finally agreed to a " Date! !! Dh said (when asked for these details by me!) "Oh !! I didn't think those details were that important!" .... SHEEESH !!  .... OF COURSE they are important (at least to meeee as the ONLY female in this house - pets included - they are!)!!  I like to KNOW These things!! OMG !! I can see that female interception is desperately NEEDED here but I am waiting for Sam to say something about this to me directly!! ;D ;D ;D SPEAK SAM SPEAK !! ;D ;D ;D |
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Post by milesofsmiles on Aug 8, 2005 16:50:41 GMT -5
Anne, I can empathize with you for what you are going through. Being a male person, I get that a lot. I will have a 10 second conversation with someone, and mention it to my wife, and she will say, 'did you ask x, did you ask y, did you ask z'. Of course not, why would those things concern me??? Guilty as charged. Has to be a guy thing. Maybe you could drop some hints when Sam is around  Miles  |
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sportsmom
Member Emeritus
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Posts: 1,171
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Post by sportsmom on Aug 8, 2005 17:35:13 GMT -5
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Post by Linda on Aug 8, 2005 18:48:20 GMT -5
Anne ;D ;D ;D ;D Welcome to my world!!! My only advice would be if you want to know something...ASK ;D ;D
If Sam is anything like Paul he thinks you ask too many questions. My response to him is...how am I to know unless I ask? ;D
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Post by saffie on Aug 8, 2005 18:58:22 GMT -5
Oh I am not looking forward to these times! Our oldest will be 16 soon. ACK! Good luck, and I hope he talks to you about these things from now on.
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Post by finnmom on Aug 8, 2005 22:56:45 GMT -5
Anne ;D I KNOW YOU WANT TO KNOW, it´s totally natural, for a female  and I know Sam doesnt tell and dh doesnt ask the right thing´s, it´s natural too, if you´re a men Women and men are so wired in so totally different way that i cant stop wondering how that´s possible Miles, my dh is excatly the same way, he has conversation with someone and then I ask what he learned and he´s like you mean I should have ask ALL these question´s ;D ;D ;D ;D MEN ;D ;D ;D |
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Post by Kaiti on Aug 9, 2005 6:49:58 GMT -5
;D ;D ;DPoor Anne, in the need to know with no answers.......don't worry, I will be there soon. Mike is getting better, but when we first moved back here, he told me he didn't ask questions. If they wanted him to know they would tell him ???that's not how to get the gossip dippy ;D ;D We were driving the other day and, sorry, HE WAS DRIVING THE OTHER DAY, and I look out the window and, um, get on the road, dear He says, YOUR RUBBING OFF ON ME, I HAVE TO BE NIBBY AND LOOK AT THINGS AROUND ME NOW :DGuy thing I guess too. ASK AWAY :-XGOOD LUCK  |
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Post by catatonic on Aug 9, 2005 8:35:44 GMT -5
This is such a guy thing. I've often wondered if it's just that they haven't been trained right, or if there's some kind of innate, unchangeable difference in the way males interact with other people.
I remember one evening after a football game when my son had finished on the field and was changing and called home for permission to "go out" with some of his friends. Since I was in the shower, my husband told him "sure". THAT'S IT!! I asked him who my son was going out with. "I don't know." Okay, where are they going? "I don't know." What time did you tell him to be home? He gives me a baffled look. Who's driving him home? "I don't know."
The next day, my son told he called right after the news when he knows I shower because he'd hoped his dad would answer. He knew I would ask him a bunch of questions and make him come home early!
Guys seem to have this funny attitude that if someone wants to tell you something, then they'll just tell you. They don't seem to understand that if a person mentions they have to go have a test in the hospital, that's really an opening for you to ask if everything is all right, so they then can share their problem and get a little support. They don't get it that if one of the kids' friends makes some mean remark about his mom, that's when you're supposed to ask if everything is okay at home or if they had a fight with mom.
My sons think this is strange. They ask me, "Why does everyone tell you their problems?" And they get fed up because it takes so long to leave church or PTA or the symphony because "Mom has to talk to everybody." They don't share my opinion that standing around talking is one of the highest forms of entertainment known to mankind (OOOOOOPS, make that womankind).
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Post by camismom on Aug 9, 2005 9:05:39 GMT -5
This is such a guy thing. AMEN!! My dh is the same way...he'll talk to someone and get off the phone and I want DETAILS. He can't provide them. Did you ask this, did you ask that? No. Why not? I didn't think about it. ARGH! Anyway Anne, just approach Sam and ask him, "so, any plans tonight?" This will be his opening to tell you and then YOU can ask yourself. Then come tell us. SAM'S GOT A DA-ATE!
SAM'S GOT A DA-ATE! |
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Post by kstquilter on Aug 9, 2005 9:09:38 GMT -5
this is definately a male/female thing! another case of the hunter and gatherer i think! men are to the point, end of story. women gather everything, including information!
but that's how we keep on top of our kids! they don't always tell us stuff so if we ask questions all the time and gather what information we can in each conversation. then we ad 2 and 2!!! sometimes we do get five however! but we usually get the right answer.
i ask chris questions all the time so he's used to it. luckily, he'd rather talk to me than his dad.
he'll be 17 soon and has been dating his girlfriend for just over a year now. a lifetime in high school years!
good luck
karen
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Post by AnneM on Aug 9, 2005 12:37:24 GMT -5
;D ;D ;D UPDATE !! ;D
Her name is Z....... and she is 17 too .... and Sam has known her for years but apparently only started to "notice" her recently ....
However, knowing Sam and his track record to date this will be a very short lived thing ... !! ;D ;D
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Post by camismom on Aug 9, 2005 13:13:14 GMT -5
Well, we want to hear all about the date and how it went tomorrow. hehe
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Post by AnneM on Aug 9, 2005 13:23:03 GMT -5
;D ;D Welllll ... IF I get given any " Details" myself I will definitely be letting you know!! .. ;D ;D Its funny because a couple of years ago when Sam had a "girlfriend" or whatever he used to talk, talk, talk to me and I knew ALL the nitty gritty details (much more so than his Dad) ... now at 17 he is "quieter" about it ... and tends to quietly talk to his Dad ... not so much to me ... (I think its because he can't stand the barrage of questions he will get from me!! ;D ;D) ANYTHING else however, he tends to turn to me ... this includes anything to do with friends, education, emotional feelings (excluding girls), work, disagreements with anyone blah blah blah .... but I doooo seem to have been excluded on the "girl" front!! It seems I just HAVE to train dh to "ask the RIGHT questions" !! |
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Post by camismom on Aug 9, 2005 14:01:07 GMT -5
It seems I just HAVE to train dh to "ask the RIGHT questions" !! If you are successful in this endeavor let me know how you did it please. |
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Post by AnneM on Aug 9, 2005 14:06:24 GMT -5
It seems I just HAVE to train dh to "ask the RIGHT questions" !! If you are successful in this endeavor let me know how you did it please. IFFFFF I am successful I promise to post it RIGHT HERE!! ;D ;D ;D But ah heck dh is just NOT good at this sort of thing and I think it will take more than just a quick "crash" course to get him to ask the "right" questions!! ;D ;D ;D Hey Miles .. I was sooo grateful to see the male point of view and realise this "lack of need for the details" is an inherent "male" thing!! ;D ;D ;D |
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